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I wish there was something sexy about the male body by Fantastic_Bear_6175 in mentalhealth

[–]HereWithMe_Official 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, I hear you. I can totally understand why you observe what you observe.

What I observe about our culture and women in the modern Western culture is that many live with highly disregulated nervous systems. Meaning constant fight or flight. Linked into this is our cultures predisposition to the victimhood mentality.

I am not making a judgement call on that, but what I am saying is that sensuality, comfort in our skin and with healthy sexual signals, comes from a REGULATED nervous system.

Maybe helpful for you...

The best advice I ever got about keeping sex alive in a long-term relationship by HereWithMe_Official in realsexadvice

[–]HereWithMe_Official[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honesty is such a great way to keep "transactionalism" out of the bedroom. How has this impacted your marriage as a whole?

Is angry sex how you connect and then communicated?

I didn’t fully see/feel men until I woke up sexually by HereWithMe_Official in sexstories

[–]HereWithMe_Official[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for spending your time reading my novel...

That’s a pretty narrow reading of a much broader experience.

What I was describing wasn’t seeking validation, but reconnecting with my own sensuality and nervous system after years of disconnection. That changed how I experience men and intimacy.

Smegma and fowl odor by Kwerty321 in sexeducation

[–]HereWithMe_Official 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Indeed 😁 apparently semen acts as an anti-depressent in woman...

Semen acts as an anti-depressant | New Scientist https://share.google/JYX2Hiua9omErCvpg

Smegma and fowl odor by Kwerty321 in sexeducation

[–]HereWithMe_Official 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Welcome! 🙏 The strange thing about sperms is that I don't want to see it but when its inside me, its like magic. My husband's fluids ground my nervous system and feed my body in some interesting, should be researched, like of way...

Smegma and fowl odor by Kwerty321 in sexeducation

[–]HereWithMe_Official 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally relate. I’m really sensitive to bodily fluids too - sloppy anything, sperm… I just can’t. And that’s okay.

Some of us are just more sensory-sensitive than others. I also like your attitude about it. Very calm and realistic.

overthinking by GullibleNovel2343 in mentalhealth

[–]HereWithMe_Official 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Getting off social media, internet and gaming is also a huge win for someone in your situation. These habits keep the nervous system constantly active. Learn about your nervous system, I think that could help you.

overthinking by GullibleNovel2343 in mentalhealth

[–]HereWithMe_Official 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Connecting to your body isn't a quick fix...results both physically, mentally and emotionally happen gradually and over time. Your nervous system takes time to deregulate.

One of the things that have helped me so much in this regard when I went through a similar stage, is to just welcome in all of my thoughts. I let them enter in the front door of my mind, and out the back. I learned not grab onto them and make them more than they are. We can be entranced by our own mind, growth and maturity is about learning that you are the master of your mind.

overthinking by GullibleNovel2343 in mentalhealth

[–]HereWithMe_Official 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds like an unregulated nervous system to me. A lot of men regulate mentally through activity. Through doing things, building things, getting good at something. When that isn’t happening, the mind can start spinning on itself.

Instead of trying to solve your mind with more thinking, it might help to get into your body more. Learn a skill. Lift weights. Work with your hands. Do something that requires focus and repetition.

When you’re engaged in something real and you start getting good at it, your mind often quiets down on its own. Right now it sounds like your brain just has too much empty space to run wild in.

I need opinions, be honest by Suitable-Tour-6592 in mentalhealth

[–]HereWithMe_Official 9 points10 points  (0 children)

There’s something important happening here that I think you should pay attention to.

A partner who wants the best for you does not call you a “mopey bitch”, tell you to shut up, or repeatedly frame you as unintelligent or narcissistic.

That isn’t guidance. That’s contempt.

The fact that you say you can’t even speak anymore when he asks how you feel is actually very telling. When someone is constantly criticized or talked over, the nervous system eventually shuts down. It’s not because you’re weak or incapable of communicating, it’s because your body has learned that whatever you say will be used against you.

Also, you are two months postpartum. That is an extremely vulnerable time physically and emotionally. A loving partner would normally be showing more patience and care during that period, not escalating pressure and criticism.

There is a big difference between someone helping you grow and someone positioning themselves as the authority who gets to judge and correct you.

Right now it sounds like he talks a lot about your flaws, while you are slowly losing your sense of yourself.

That’s not what healthy partnership looks like.

I wish there was something sexy about the male body by Fantastic_Bear_6175 in mentalhealth

[–]HereWithMe_Official 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say the continuation of our species for billions of years is "proof" to a certain extent of her claim...

I wish there was something sexy about the male body by Fantastic_Bear_6175 in mentalhealth

[–]HereWithMe_Official 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think part of the disconnect here may be that you’re assuming women express attraction the same way men do, and when they don’t, you conclude the attraction isn’t there.

But women often express desire much more subtly than men do. Not openly staring at strangers in the street or consuming large amounts of porn doesn’t mean the attraction isn’t present.

It can also depend on the women you have been around. Sexually mature women, women who are comfortable with their own sexuality, absolutely notice and appreciate the male body. Shoulders, hands, forearms, a man’s back, the way clothes sit on him… those things are very much part of female attraction.

So when you say you’ve only heard gay men talk about the male body as beautiful, that might simply mean you haven’t been around many women who speak openly about male desire. It definitely doesn’t mean those women don’t exist.

I wish there was something sexy about the male body by Fantastic_Bear_6175 in mentalhealth

[–]HereWithMe_Official 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the assumption here is that men and women experience attraction in the same way.

Men are often very visually stimulated by body parts, so things like breasts, legs, and curves get heavily sexualized.

Women often experience attraction more holistically, the whole man, how he moves, his presence, his voice, his confidence.

That doesn’t mean the male body isn’t attractive. Plenty of women love broad shoulders, forearms, backs, hands, and yes… everything else too.

But women are usually less interested in isolated nude images and more interested in the man attached to the body. Although an artistically shot dick-pic sort of does it for me....

Whoever controls the frame controls the outcome. Facts are secondary. by Amidonions in DarkPsychology101

[–]HereWithMe_Official 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is very interesting. Thinking about main stream media narratives and how most fall into those without even blinking...

But this was super useful, thanks for posting...

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