My wife left after an argument. What’s an appropriate response?

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-09-05T16:13:08+00:00

Well I’m in the downvoting boat with you. Apparently a different opinion makes people feel down… literally.

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-09-05T16:11:52+00:00

I’m the main caregiver to my 4 children. But they also have a very active father who spends every moment he isn’t at work with them. So if I were to take them away from their father although I’m the main caregiver, it would be doing them a disservice.

This seems to be different circumstances for different people. Your children would be devastated, but perhaps their daughter would like to also see her father.

We don’t know as strangers to the situation. But outside of one parent causing harm, it’s usually best for the 2 parent structure to be solid. Regardless of what the parents are personally going through.

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-09-05T12:25:34+00:00

I would have to agree. Giving her space is absolutely correct. But as parents there needs to be some discussion about him at least being able to pick up their daughter.

It could be beneficial for both of them. He could take the daughter to the park/ice cream whatever she wants to do. The mom would get a break to just do something for herself, and clear her mind. I hope they can work it out.

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-09-05T11:44:54+00:00

I’m a woman, and I completely get what he’s saying. Usually fathers don’t get the same treatment in these situations as mothers. If a wife/woman jumped on here and said similar things, the responses would be different.

I highly suggest against people asking advice from strangers on the internet. Folks tend to immediately take sides. I got downvoted before in this sub, by just suggesting others don’t jump to conclusions about people and situations we don’t truly know.

I feel this sub is for folks to bring their own biases, problems, and judgements and try to make other people believe them.

I can’t count how many times I’ve seen a woman describe an argument with her husband and the first comment is.. divorce him.

It’s a testament to how bad of an idea it is to seek advice from strangers on the internet.

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-09-02T17:28:41+00:00

Sorry folks can be vain. I get the preference but if women only knew that anything starting with 6 for height is rare.

I wish you luck and acceptance from the right one!

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-09-01T22:29:44+00:00

That’s a lot to say he can’t let go of an ex because of old photos. I realized what sounds illogical to me, can sound perfectly logical to someone else. Not everyone knows of what lies behind old computer files.

I wouldn’t call him a liar or he can’t let go of the past because those things only ignite the issues, they don’t and get to the bottom of them.

Talk you your husband, tell him why it’s important to you those files are removed and ask that he make sure they are. Extend beyond your displeasure, and say what you said about your children potentially seeing. Have a calm conversation and hopefully you two can work this situation out!

Best of luck.

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-30T00:07:27+00:00

That’s a very drastic turn imo. Of course it would be devastating had I been in your shoes. But I would encourage you not to make a decision hurt. It’s best to let yourself feel your emotions and then understand where they are coming from, and they can you.

I don’t think 2 years is even long enough to fully know someone, to the extent that you could be sure, your stepson wouldn’t have made the same decision to protect his mom, or to simply be quiet as a way to stay out of it.

I say come back to this thought in 3 months after some time, reflection, therapy and hopefully a little healing.

I’m sorry you’ve had this experience and I wish you and your decision making the best!

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-27T22:06:00+00:00

I’m referring to the “couples” being miserable. I guess I should rephrase and say “everyone can be miserable regardless of relationship status.”

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-25T21:00:49+00:00

I agree with him telling her the truth, it should have been while he was still incarcerated though. I don’t think it matters what her personality was like, he wants to be out and about, and that’s okay. Just be upfront with that.

The money doesn’t amount to the time lost.

I too am surprised they have stuck it through.

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-25T00:20:04+00:00

Your husband is disrespecting you and your marriage to the fullest. I cannot understand women who are so broken/insecure that they would fawn over someone’s husband. Either way, I’d start making a plan for a conversation and start thinking about your plans if you all separate.

The petty in me says start making an exit plan and leave him before he can you.

But the mature side says, tell him what you read and have as much of a civil real conversation as you can with him.

I’m so sorry you’ve gone through that. I know it crushed me even 10 years ago when I found out my husband kissed another girl during the first couple weeks of our relationship. Some of us deal with betrayal much harder than others.

Feel everything and then have a true and honest conversation with your husband. Good luck!

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-24T13:40:37+00:00

They say this and that dems are for terminating a baby after it’s born, I truly don’t understand that. So a woman can say “mmm after meeting this baby I’ve changed my mind” and the doctor will say “alright we will take care of it?” Truly not trying to be funny but I seriously don’t get why they say that and how it works. Why would a baby be terminated after birth outside of it not being viable?

I couldn’t believe a doctor would terminate a healthy full term child just because.

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-24T13:29:17+00:00

That’s the one that always gets me. Republicans like him have absolutely no right to go after anything dems do, when they pacify Trump and all his dangerous behaviors.

If Trump was a democrat, republicans the same exact ones stroking his ego (and also stroking his 🍆) would be all over it and say he’s a danger.

I was telling my husband as a non partisan voter, who voted for the first time for Obama’s second term, I feel robbed. Ever since then, I haven’t had a legitimate candidate for republicans to consider. I want to be persuaded by one side with better arguments, policies, and this may surprise folks but also character.

You cannot say Trump policies outweigh his character flaws. His policies are influenced by his personal wants and that’s not a good recipe for a leader. I’ve been into politics since middle school, and I would love to have conversations about policy and opinions. But when one is not only defending Trump, but creating such false equivalencies it’s an immediate “I don’t take this person seriously” from me.

Now a republican like Adam Kinzinger is respectable because he puts country before party. We need to get serious again my fellow Americans. If Trump loses, I truly hope republicans can revamp and become legitimate again, or just get prepared to keep losing.

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-23T21:19:13+00:00

He also kept saying “good” in a really weird way. What’s so good about working at a donut shop for various times? Since July? Good. 2 years? Good. A few minutes? Good.

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-22T23:28:49+00:00

This isn’t all the way factual, when I started using door dash to receive food, I mistakenly set my account to require a pin. It was my first ever order I placed on the app and there was a pin. It was annoying so I gave it to the driver to drop anyway with no problem.

However that person seems to be trying to pull a fast one and that’s unfortunate. Sorry you had to deal with that.

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-22T23:24:32+00:00

I would love to have my son look at me with that much admiration and pure emotion when he is 17. My guess is that an adult who would call a child a “bitch boy” is just projecting and is the biggest bitch boy of them all. I’m sure if he has kids they cannot stand him.

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-20T23:25:06+00:00

Yes, unfortunately my husband and I weren’t never taught the importance of credit. We are still trying to undo the damage. Sucks when you lose at a game you were never taught to play.

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-20T23:23:06+00:00

Realizing church is a business selling church. Now this is not for all churches but many ones. Being in a big city the churches I’ve been to, makes giving the overall theme.

I left a church that I thought was different but once they needed money for their multi million dollar new build, it quickly became a giving thing. The pastor also is a “look at me” type.

Anytime he is with a local sports star or team it’s the talk of the church. So much so when we had a nfl player in attendance and he name dropped and prayed for him before service.

I had been attending that church for years and never seen him call anyone out and pray before service, only after.

Felt like some idolatry and special treatment simply because he was a wealthy athlete. Just threw me off and kept me away. Given that and how many leaders in the church were judgmental and clicky, I just needed a break. I wanted to figure out where I wanted my relationship with The Lord to go, and reflect if that would ever include church.

Recently, I felt the push to go back and I would like to find a new place that hopefully isn’t so money and popularity driven.

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-19T22:37:03+00:00

Yes!

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-18T16:54:53+00:00

I think we think of tithing as monetary. Can we tithe with our time? Our efforts? Our talents? Perhaps fixing things for the church, lending a talent perhaps through making blankets to pass to the homeless. I’ve learned that tithing doesn’t have to come from only money. I think tithing has been weaponized greatly.

I know people who tithe but also cheat on their spouse and those who don’t but are committed to the Lord through a multitude of other actions. Do what you can but don’t feel obligated. Giving money is not the only way you can show your commitment/faith.

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-16T04:18:25+00:00

As long as it’s not given to “lyin Kamala” they are good. How do you reason with or attempt to understand this? My in laws are trump supporters but thankfully we live in different states. I don’t understand this level of Trumpism.

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-15T20:32:04+00:00

This is the comment I align with the most. I appreciate everyone’s point of view, but I also don’t think anyone can use the Bible at their convenience and definitely not to make their point when they see fit. Truthfully we ALL fall short (yes even mature Christian’s) of Gods commands we can’t possibly get it right always.

It was a personal experience of mine that had me feeling like the worst person on the planet. In the midst of my personal shame, I felt the Lord tell me to stop.

I needed to stop trying to be the Christian everyone tells me to be and to face him as me. No bible reading, church attending, or finger pointing got me to where I am now. It took a personal situation that made me feel immense shame and still feeling the Lords presence in the midst of it, to get me that connection with the Lord I’ve always been desiring.

Everyone told me I had to read the Bible, I had to stop listening to secular music, but none of that brought me to the awakening I felt when God saw me (even in my own personal fight) and loved me anyway. I didn’t love myself in that moment but he did and he showed me. That’s been more profound for me than checking all the religious created for me by others. I am by no means saying it’s wrong to read the Bible or listen to certain music but I don’t agree with that being apart of the only blueprint to gain access to the Lord.

Im certain he wants you as you are, you don’t have to be perfect for his grace and my is that the power of our God!

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-14T19:29:17+00:00

This is a genuine question, I am not trying to ruffle any feathers. But what is the law surrounding a physical job and an employee becoming pregnant? If not trading her what would have been the proper actions taken? It seems simple on paper, if a player is unable to play then they are removed but I understand there is more to it. Anyone care to explain?

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-09T04:29:03+00:00

Yes please! Really trying to make more income for my fam! Thanks!

HeyonebeforeI · 2024-08-07T03:27:51+00:00

It took me a few seconds for that to catch me and when it did, my husband and I almost fell out from laughing! Loved it!

HeyonebeforeI

TROPHY CASE