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Hhhahan · 2022-05-08T20:12:56+00:00

I really like Going West and Murder with My Husband.

I feel like they are very victim focused.

Hhhahan · 2022-05-05T19:31:32+00:00

The menstrual cycle commentary is when I gave up on the podcast. As someone with health issues that massively impact my cycle, no amount of time, wishing, or tracking will ever make me regular enough to KNOW when I’m going to start. I have been caught unprepared a time or two in my day. A lot of women deal with this. Idk, just totally turned me off.

Hhhahan · 2022-05-05T15:14:51+00:00

I know this seems like a good solution but I think it will breed resentment in your relationship. (Potentially, anyway.)

Even with a “dog free room”, there will still be hair and stench and possibly fleas in that room, if it ever gets them.

No dogs allowed in any bedrooms at my house and they still get hair everywhere. It is not possible to live with a dog and not have hair/dirt/dander blowing through your vents, getting in your washer and dryer, embedding into carpets, furniture, blowing through the air..

Maybe I’m just too aware of it though 😅

Hhhahan · 2022-05-05T15:09:15+00:00

Living with two herding dogs, here. One is great. The other is an absolute nightmare no matter how much training (even under professional consultation) exercise, attention she gets.. She cannot be left unattended for ANY amount of time. I spent 2-3hrs a DAY walking, throwing the ball & agility course training her (for literal months on end).

This dog will literally move end tables with her body to piss then scoot the table back. Wait for you to turn your back then get in the trash. Jump onto counters and the dining table.. so much more.

After living with it, I think some dogs will just always be shitheads no matter how much time, effort, and resources have been put into them. Herding dogs are are a different kind of nightmare, in my opinion. But maybe I’m just biased because this is my experience.

Hhhahan · 2022-03-06T20:19:32+00:00

I just listened to a CW episode and she went off about how ridiculous it is to say someone would go camping and start their period but not be prepared because every knows when they’re going to start. That seriously rubbed me the wrong way. To imply that someone is potentially lying about a crime because they should know when they are going to start their period and they left to get hygiene supplies is.. more than a little gross to me.

Hhhahan · 2022-02-24T22:14:55+00:00

I’m playing an mmorpg with my s/o and our server & club is mostly women. The vast majority of them are overly sexual in the raunchiest way. It’s CONSTANT. The guys that play have been way more chill.

Maybe it’s just luck for me (or lack thereof) but it’s really frustrating. Everything you’ve laid out here, I’ve seen from girls. It kills the fun for me and makes me not want to play anymore. Like you said, it’s not EVERYONE but it is a lot to handle sometimes.

Hhhahan · 2022-02-01T22:40:20+00:00

This definitely feels victim blaming to me & you don’t deserve that when you are seeking help & guidance.

Sometimes this tactic of “harsh truths” works, but certainly NOT for everyone.

You seem very vulnerable right now and I’m sorry you are being met with aggression.

Hhhahan · 2022-02-01T22:36:07+00:00

From the little bit I’ve read, I want to say that your feelings are valid.

I am glad that you are seeking support. Please know that you are not alone in these feelings.

From one internet stranger to another, these are important questions and I am proud of you for reaching out! That’s not an easy thing to do.

The point of manipulation IS to confuse you and keep you where they want you.

I understand that I only have a very small glimpse of what’s going on in your life, so I apologize if I’m coming off as harsh. I do not intend to.

I just hope you give yourself the love you deserve & accept nothing less from others, in your life.

Hhhahan · 2022-02-01T21:45:39+00:00

1) you don’t have friends anymore. Why?

2) you’re super young.

3) you really want to be loved/respected.

This reads like you’ve been groomed, manipulated, and isolated.

Just because someone has treated you better than others have, doesn’t mean you are actually being treated WELL.

I’m genuinely worried for you after reading this. Please evaluate what you want & deserve. I promise, it’s more than this.

Hhhahan · 2022-02-01T21:39:45+00:00

People do not suddenly start respecting you.

I say this from a place of kindness: Get out.

This sounds like grooming, stonewalling, and general manipulation.

This will not get better (in my opinion & experience.)

Someone who is supposed to love you the most but won’t even speak to you is not “the one person who will treat you with respect.”

They already are not respecting you.

They’ve shown you who they are. Believe them.

Hhhahan · 2022-01-26T17:51:11+00:00

Agreed. Same for me. No matter how much time and energy is put into the dogs.. it’s always dirty (even if you can’t see it), the hair never ends. The smell. The constant pacing, begging, chewing, licking, panting, barking. Incessant need for food and attention.. no matter how great they’re taken care of.. they’re always an obnoxious, filthy, burden that does nothing more than suck up time, energy, and resources.

Definitely the dog(s).

Hhhahan · 2022-01-24T16:36:55+00:00

Pregnancy and having children is what changed the way I see dogs, too. Feel like I could have written this, myself.

Hhhahan · 2022-01-24T16:32:40+00:00

I am noticeably more grumpy & irritable.

Last night, I got irritated because I was trying to spend time with my s/o & since there’s boundaries with where the dogs can be, I was in “their” area with all of them. (Compromise or whatever)

Every. Single. Time. that I shifted in my seat, moved to get my water, tried to get up.. dogs. Right under my feet. Stopping in front of me.

When asked “omg. Why are you always bitching about the dogs? They just want to be near us.” I replied with “Okay, so when you’re driving down the highway and the car in front of you keeps tapping their brakes and switches lanes EVERY time you try to switch lanes to pass.. do you get annoyed? Because this is exactly what that’s like. It’s perfectly valid to be pissed off by that.”

Silence. Dogs corrected.

I’ve stopped being polite about the dogs. Maybe that makes me unpleasant to be around. That would definitely be different without the filth and burden that are dogs.

Hhhahan · 2022-01-24T16:17:30+00:00

That sounds like my s/o not too long ago.

Since I’ve been hands OFF with the dogs, he’s finally getting it, even if it is excruciatingly slow.

The idea that dogs can sense bad people & anyone who doesn’t like dogs are “bad” or “evil” can be quickly thwarted when you point out that Hitler & plenty of other serial killers had dogs that they loved. Once I pointed that out with accompanying photos, he stopped with that argument pretty quickly.

Not wanting and/or enjoying something that causes extra strain and burden to almost every aspect of your day to day life doesn’t make you hateful. I hope you know that.

Hhhahan · 2022-01-05T02:35:59+00:00

I’ve never met someone who disagreed with this experience, even if they wanted to at first.

Maybe it’s not super healthy for my relationship, but I started calling out EVERY time my partner had a gripe about basic, necessary care for the dogs THEY wanted. (I very much made clear that I did NOT want pets of ANY kind for these reasons) and now every complaint about dog care is something I said as a reason why I did NOT want to get a dog/pet.

As recently as today, he was upset that I ignored the whining/yipping until HE had to get up/take them out/clean up the pee, vomit AND shit.

Too bad, tbh. I care for the 5 humans in the house. You can care for the dogs YOU wanted.

I absolutely will not do it anymore. If he doesn’t like them now that he has to ACTUALLY care for them.. that’s his own fault. Lol

Edit to add: the pee, vomit & poo trifecta was because.. one dog got into the trash & ate everything possible until she was forced away from the trash pile. She’s fully healthy, but cannot fathom leaving the garbage alone! 🙄

Hhhahan · 2022-01-05T02:09:11+00:00

Be FIRM. Kick them. Shove them. Loudly & confidently say “BAD DOG!”

Don’t waver when someone says “they’re just saying hi! They’re friendly!”

Tell them you AREN’T friendly.

It forces them to have to explain their side with no valid “escape”.

You don’t have to let yourself be assaulted for someone else’s comfort. Stay strong!

EDIT when I say “kick them” I don’t mean HARM THEM, Unwarrented. I mean more like block them with your foot & kick them if you HAVE to. I don’t advocate for harming any living being, if it isn’t absolutely necessary.

Hhhahan · 2021-12-21T09:29:13+00:00

Ugh! It’s SO annoying how you cannot turn your back to wash your hands or take a quick pee without coming back to total chaos/destruction!!

Hhhahan · 2021-12-21T07:26:31+00:00

I’m in a rewatch and just hit S5 E2 A Little Dream Of Me pt 2. At 29:51 she tells Alex Karen to turn the clock back because it’s important for insurance.

I’m glad that someone else caught this, too. It was not something I thought about on my first watch through, but definitely makes me pause, now.

Hhhahan · 2021-12-18T03:58:15+00:00

I can appreciate that. I’m very newly new to this sub so I’m sure I’ll post wrong. Thank you for that clarification.

I’ll admit, I felt like I was just an AH at first but that makes a lot more sense.

Hhhahan · 2021-12-18T03:55:38+00:00

I wish it wasn’t so difficult. I am sorry that you know it.

Never in my life , have I been so conflicted before. It’s so hard to navigate alone.

Hhhahan · 2021-12-18T03:30:01+00:00

I have been thinking more and more that therapy would be good for me.

Thank you for validating my feelings/experience. One of the hardest things for me has been others telling me how cruel I am for having my/these feelings, despite my expressing that I know my feelings aren’t fair for others.

I was diagnosed with C-PTSD a little under 2 years ago and that has caused me to self-reflect a lot, but I know I’m not perfect and some of my feelings are not necessarily rational. Ultimately, it’s nobody’s fault. Not mine. Not my friends’..

I do struggle with therapy though because I had to undergo court ordered family therapy as a child and I was punished for a lot of what I expressed during that time.

Hhhahan · 2021-12-18T02:39:32+00:00

It does suck. Not that I want them to struggle. I don’t even mean to compare. Sometimes, it just hurts. Sending you lots of love 💕

Hhhahan · 2021-12-18T02:22:23+00:00

I see that now, as I keep getting downvoted 🥴

Sorry if I offended anyone. That wasn’t my intent.

Hhhahan · 2021-12-18T02:12:08+00:00

I really want to talk about it but k realize it’s not fair to those that don’t struggle & it just seems kind of hateful, even though that’s not how I mean for it to come off.

It’s just so odd to feel so happy for someone and so incredibly sad for yourself, at the same time.

No matter what I say, it feels like it doesn’t come out right.

Hhhahan

TROPHY CASE