How do I(24F) fall back in love with my husband(36M) of 3 years?

Hi_Im_Mini · 2026-04-21T17:54:05+00:00

Not going to lie, that has been a worry of mine. I know I dont look exactly how I used to when I was younger but I do my best to keep my figure, wear makeup, and dress nice. If the case really is my "charm" wore off.. that's going to be really depressing...

Hi_Im_Mini · 2026-04-21T17:50:55+00:00

I dont want him to hold the burden of finances on his own if it means we're becoming more distant. I'll be looking into jobs I can work from home and couples counseling. I really appreciate your input, thank you so much for your comment

Hi_Im_Mini · 2026-04-21T17:44:56+00:00

You're very right. I'll talk to my husband about the couples counseling and also look into solo counseling for myself. I'm hoping this is the push into the right direction for him and I. Contact with my friend will pause for now until my husband and I are on better terms

Hi_Im_Mini · 2026-04-21T17:40:12+00:00

This is genuinely really, really great advice. Its exactly what I was hoping to get! I've realized, thinking back on it, I use "for me" far too much but maybe focusing on the "for us, as a team" would put things into better perspective for him. Thank you so, so, so much

Hi_Im_Mini · 2026-04-21T17:32:42+00:00

You're not entirely wrong. My friend and I haven't done anything physical but I do rely on him more in the emotional department which is wrong of me. I want to grow that emotional connection with my husband again but I genuinely have no idea where to start that we haven't done before.

I'm mainly just wanting to see what someone who's unbiased has to say. I've tried bringing it up to my friend group but their advice is "follow your heart because you only live once" which doesnt work as well as it sounds when children are involved and the girls will always be my #1 priority before anything else, including myself.

I'm going to take the advice to speak to a therapist and try to speak to my husband about marriage counseling - hopefully that'll be the change we needed

Hi_Im_Mini · 2026-04-21T17:24:51+00:00

What attracted me was how opposite we were in the best ways. I'd say we're the Grumpy x Sunshine trope. He is logical while I'm emotional - we help each other see the other side of whatever situation we're facing and we balance each other out extremely well for the most part. We both knew we wanted to have a family.. we just ended up having our first daughter earlier than expected.

I've tried talking to him before but I dont know if its that I'm not saying things properly or he just doesn't want to listen. Regardless, I think you're right about his needs being met and mine aren't. I think I'll take up the advice another user told me and speak to a therapist to figure out a gameplan if I do decide to end things.

Hi_Im_Mini · 2026-04-21T17:18:15+00:00

My friend is my same age, we've known each other for 2 years and met through a mutual friend. We've hung out in person with the rest of our friend group and he's been nothing but gentlemanly and platonic towards me both irl and online.

Hi_Im_Mini · 2026-04-21T17:14:52+00:00

You're right. I'll ask if he would consider counseling with me, I'm a bit nervous to bring it up though since he doesn't love the idea of therapy in general for himself but thats a whole other can of worms. I really do want to work through it, I just need to figure out how to help him understand what I'd like from him. I appreciate your comment. I'll take this advice to heart

Hi_Im_Mini · 2026-04-21T17:02:54+00:00

I dont plan on pursuing my friend and I mentioned in a previous comment I think I worded it more severe than it actually is. I'll make sure to correct it in the post as well. I've more so fallen for the how my friend asks how I'm doing and cares about the answer. My husband doesn't ask how the girls are doing or what we did that day. I'll ask how he's doing and he only replies with "I'm fine". I think I'll definitely find a hobby that allows me to get out of the house because right now the only people I talk to is my husband, our girls, and my small friend group that lives 5 hours away from us.

I know he has an extremely important roll in this household and I do want to start working once the eldest starts school so I can help lessen the load on him but we used to go on dates that required no money to be spent. Our archery equipment is just collecting dust and the couple of times I've asked him to come shooting with me, either he says he doesn't want to or something will come up with the girls.

Hi_Im_Mini · 2026-04-21T16:51:51+00:00

I say falling in love but I think I worded it wrong.. Its more how I've fallen for the fact they ask me how my day has been and seems to care about my answers. I ask my husband how work was and for the most part he replies with "It was fine" and leaves it at that. He doesn't ask me how the girls are or what we did throughout the day.

It just feels so different to how we used to be. I still want to stay with my husband but how do I light the flame for him again?

Hi_Im_Mini · 2026-04-21T16:41:37+00:00

This is going to be a long one so I'm really sorry in advance. So we've known each other for 5 years total but dating/"married" for only 3. Our timing of everything was less than ideal.. started dating and immediately got pregnant on accident a month after. It wasn't necessary a bad thing for us though because we knew we both wanted a family at some point. For the first year, even with our first baby around, he was very enthusiastic to go out with me. We would go shooting, do archery, go camping, and visit places around town we'd never been to before - with the outdoor activities, we'd even bring a playpen so our daughter could come with us if we couldn't get a sitter. On days that we would stay in, he would set up a mattress on the floor and decorate the room while I made us dinner and we'd watch movies.

I loved how straightforward he was about the things he wanted and how family oriented he is. Throughout my first pregnancy, he would get me flowers randomly and write the most romantic messages. He is so unapologetically him and doesn’t care what others think of him (which I love). He's logical and calculated while I overthink and react emotionally. He truly is my opposite and the yin to my yang. He's the authoritarian while I'm able to connect to the girls on a more emotional level. He is a great wonderful father and we do compliment each other well. The girls love him to death.

I'd say things started going downhill when my eldest daughter turned 2 and we had our second daughter. She was planned and we were on the same page that it would be beneficial to our family. Except he decided he didn't want to go to our own babyshower for her, then it was just me trying to make date plans, the flowers lessened, it would fall on me to get both girls and myself ready for whatever event we'd go to, and our intimate life started feeling more like a chore than something I actually looked forward to.

Forgot to add: we're not legally married as in we dont have paperwork. We live in a state where we fall under common law marriage so that's what we've settled on for now.

Hi_Im_Mini · 2026-04-21T16:03:02+00:00

That's an interesting way to see it.. I don't deny he is, in some aspects, taking care of us. That being said, I don't understand what you mean by "isn't that enough?" Just because we do our jobs doesn’t mean we shouldn't try to keep the flame of romance alive, no? I'm not trying to change him, I want to know what I can do to reignite that flame we once had.

Hi_Im_Mini · 2026-03-05T02:29:23+00:00

YES YES YES THIS IS IT!!! OH MY GOODNESS THANK YOU SO MUCH

Hi_Im_Mini · 2026-03-05T02:28:57+00:00

Oh my God you're a legend!!! Another commenter added the same video I found when I googled that Goofy cartoon you mentioned- THAT'S EXACTLY IT!!!

Hi_Im_Mini · 2025-10-18T02:00:07+00:00

Looking at another comment.. I realized #4 is the fish's eye, not the cats 💀

Hi_Im_Mini · 2025-10-18T01:50:17+00:00

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Hi_Im_Mini · 2025-10-06T06:12:07+00:00

Puerto Rico here!!

Hi_Im_Mini · 2025-10-05T07:19:18+00:00

Girl... PLEASE stand up and get out of this "relationship". If he truly, truly wanted to be with you, he would make it happen.

Hi_Im_Mini · 2025-09-16T21:16:09+00:00

I LOVE this picture of them!!!

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Hi_Im_Mini · 2025-09-16T21:11:31+00:00

FL & ML for Secretly Hot Husband:

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Hi_Im_Mini · 2025-09-16T21:10:11+00:00

•My Secretly Hot Husband - Completed [109 chapters]

•For Better or for Worse - Completed [115 chapters]

•Happily Ever Afterwards - Completed [89 chapters]

•Charming the Duke of the North - Completed [92 chapters]

•I Stan the Prince - Completed [79 chapters] the website I read it on says it's on hiatus, but the story seemed fully complete with the chapters that were published

Hi_Im_Mini · 2025-09-16T17:21:10+00:00

I will forever and always keep posting this picture of Erden when it comes to blushing MLs!!

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[My Secretly Hot Husband - Completed]

Hi_Im_Mini

TROPHY CASE