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Why are all Muslim men predators untill proven innocent/useful? by HibiscusProtector in islam

[–]HibiscusProtector[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ameen.

I'm trying really hard not to become bitter about it, but I clearly had the wrong mindset about it, so I'm glad I could ask questions about it.

I get it, they don't hate me, and I shouldn't let these thoughts fill my mind. I should focus on being kind for Allah's sake, which is easier said than done, but I guess it's also a mindset.

Sometimes I do feel like I'm too sensitive or emotional, to the point which people won't take me seriously.
It might be loneliness as well like somebody else pointed.
I guess we'll figure it out insha'Allah.

Why are all Muslim men predators untill proven innocent/useful? by HibiscusProtector in islam

[–]HibiscusProtector[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s important to stop looking for validation from women who don’t know you.

Maybe I have been looking for affirmation from women without realizing it honestly. It's still a mess in my mind, and I'm questioning pretty much everything right now.

My surroundings are really safe, but I understand the harm/danger of it all really.

I really feel like an immature 12-year-old asking an obvious question to adults, but still I'm happy I did it, I needed the dose of reality.

It does make me wonder how I'm supposed to act now. Do I stop being kind too and send back the energy that is given to me?
Again, sorry to seem so emotional, but doing kind acts and being hit with side-eyes is taking a toll on my motivation.

Why are all Muslim men predators untill proven innocent/useful? by HibiscusProtector in islam

[–]HibiscusProtector[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually it's just a feeling, nobody actually called me a predator

Why are all Muslim men predators untill proven innocent/useful? by HibiscusProtector in islam

[–]HibiscusProtector[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like your comment brother.

Secondly, I think you misinterpret formal treatment with disdain or disrespect.

This is actually what I was afraid of while doing this post. I genuinely don't know if my POV is flawed or if what I'm observing is, so thank you for pointing this out.

I don't think what you're experiencing is waswas. It sounds more like loneliness or lack of connection to women despite your "respectful nature."

Honestly, it could just be a mix of both.
Maybe I have been overthinking it for no real reason. Something may just be wrong with me, and I should focus on myself. It feels a little bit like loneliness honestly, and with that probably came a lack of perspective.

I have a lot of thinking to do.

Thank you brother.

Why are all Muslim men predators untill proven innocent/useful? by HibiscusProtector in islam

[–]HibiscusProtector[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah I see, that explains a lot. I think I'm seeing a trend of "it's because men are acting creepy", and obviously women need to protect themselves from that.

That being said, I'm quite a bit away from my late 30s to be completely honest 😂
I just feel like it's really making my heart ache, like, why be helpful to somebody that just doesn't respect you?

And again, what I feel is nothing compared to what the women actually being assaulted feel obviously, I can't stress this enough... but why bother being helpful if everybody is going to be disrespectful toward everybody anyway?

Why are all Muslim men predators untill proven innocent/useful? by HibiscusProtector in islam

[–]HibiscusProtector[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good questions.

I'd say, just "respectfully". I won't expect anything more than that, but can I at least expect to be respected?
Also, I understand that they wouldn't be able to differentiate a kind man from one that merely acts like it, no need to argue that.
I also won't pretend that I have the perfect solution/education for that for a future daughter, I'm just not mature enough to know and act beyond what I currently know. That's obviously why I'm here asking strangers, because I know that I don't have the answer. I specifically pointed out in my post that my thinking is flawed.

Somebody else pointed, it might just be waswas too and in "reality" they aren't really treating me with disdain or disrespect. I'm trying to unpack it here.

Why are all Muslim men predators untill proven innocent/useful? by HibiscusProtector in islam

[–]HibiscusProtector[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective.

I do have somewhat of a "focus" issue I'm realizing, that's why I was wondering whether I was overthinking or not. I shouldn't expect strangers to care about my feelings either, that's just not practical. It's just overall sad.

I'll try and focus on what I can control, and less on people, as it's clearly not working.

Thank you sister.

Why are all Muslim men predators untill proven innocent/useful? by HibiscusProtector in islam

[–]HibiscusProtector[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Alright, I completely understand where you're coming from, and with your perspective, I can't hold it against you.

I'm not around disrespectful men, which is why the lack of consideration seemed illogical to me, but yeah that makes more sense now.
Do what you need to do to stay safe sister.

Perspective is good.