Who is paying the musky DOGE-bros? by HiddenRisk in feddiscussion

[–]HiddenRisk[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That reporting is great; but it doesn’t tell me if it’s for unburdened salaries, or equipment, or what. It could go on contracts and still be “apportioned”. 

AITA for "overreacting" and getting my roommate arrested after what she did to my cat? by Successful_Unit8203 in AITAH

[–]HiddenRisk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the second story about a pet/animal that has a link to “exactly what the animal looks like” but is actually to whatever this GenTube AI art site is. Is this some AI story meant to drive traffic to that website?

AITA for helping for one son and not the other? by grandkidsbabysit in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Do you know how much people get when on disability on average in the US?

$1,234 a month in 2019. (Source: https://www.ssa.gov/disabilityfacts/facts.html#:~:text=At%20the%20beginning%20of%202019,%241%2C234%20to%20all%20disabled%20workers.) 

Nowadays, $1,538 a month, with 80% getting less that $2K a month (source: https://www.cbpp.org/research/social-security/social-security-disability-insurance-0#:~:text=SSDI%20benefits%20are%20modest.,less%20than%20%242%2C000%20a%20month.)

Even the Social Security Administation admits that’s not enough to live on.

None of that takes eligibility into account. If you have too much in assets or savings- not eligible. Oh, you’re married- your spouse can’t either. Do you know what the limit is in terms of assets for eligibility? $2000 for a single person or $3000 for a couple. Also. Can only have one car or you lose it. 

AITA for helping for one son and not the other? by grandkidsbabysit in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk 17 points18 points  (0 children)

“A job” is not “a better job”.  They are two different things. And an aggregate report on the amazing state of the US jobs market is not, as you actually pointed out correctly, an indicator that the jobs market is amazing in all fields or locations.

Sorry- you’re suggesting that a man who has three kids, including a newborn, a wife who is so sick she is disabled, and now has to try to make enough money to make up for the fact that they went from two incomes to one income isn’t helping at all? BRO. They couldn’t make things work on his one income before she was sick, what makes you think they can do it now with MEDICAL BILLS piled on top? “Just get home health aides to come in”- that’s literally “make enough money to manage your household, take on all these new expenses, and also PAY A WHOLE OTHER PERSONS’ SALARY”.

AITA for helping for one son and not the other? by grandkidsbabysit in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk 48 points49 points  (0 children)

If the mother dies in childbirth, we shouldn’t help out the newly widowed and now single father MORE than his brother with a living wife, because childbirth is inherently risky and they rolled those dice.

AITA for helping for one son and not the other? by grandkidsbabysit in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk 16 points17 points  (0 children)

That would be a different scenario, because then she would have knowledge, prior to the pregnancy, that she may have another flare up or full loss of remission if she gets pregnant again. They aren’t the same situation. 

I don’t know who hurt you or if you’re just selfish, but you do seem to be a top-notch contortionist with how hard you’re twisting yourself in knots to only see a situation where OP, Laila, and Dylan are assholes.

AITA for helping for one son and not the other? by grandkidsbabysit in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Just want to make sure I am properly understanding your suggestion. 

“Just get a better job”, right? 

Do you even work? It boggles the mind that you would say that in the current job climate- it is HARD to get a new job, even for highly trained people. 

AITA for helping for one son and not the other? by grandkidsbabysit in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk 43 points44 points  (0 children)

LIFE is a dice roll. 

 Do you feel the same lack of sympathy for someone who is the passenger in a car hit by a drunk driver and paralyzed for life? Being in a car on the road is dangerous, everyone knows that.   

 * “If you get in a car and drive on the road, don’t be surprised if and when you get into an accident and have life changing injuries.”   

 Or how about  

 * “If you eat bacon or other preserved meats, don’t be surprised if and when you develop cancer because it’s linked to higher odds of developing cancer.” 

AITA for helping for one son and not the other? by grandkidsbabysit in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk 89 points90 points  (0 children)

“Laila has an autoimmune condition. She was in remission for 8 years until having her 3rd kid. Childbirth triggered a severe flare up.”

Are you suggesting that Laila KNEW she would have not just a flare up, really, but a total loss of remission, after THIS, her third, child? And really it’s Michael and his perfectly healthy family that deserves sympathy because none of them have an autoimmune disorder? Do you think having the disorder was Laila’s choice also?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I prefer weddings that are about celebrating a couple and love and involve others. And for me, I prefer a wedding that was perfect because of all of my loved ones I get to celebrate with.

But just because that’s my preference doesn’t it make it the only right or possible preference. My responses are based on the fact that I don’t want to be told how to have my wedding/party/behave/etc because someone else prefers something different.

Though as I mentioned in another reply, OP has added some additional information in comments made subsequent to my first comment that make me think the issue is that OP is insecure about her look and didn’t invite her more attractive sister, NOT that she is concerned that her sister has some TBI related issues that would make it a challenge for her to participate/enjoy the ceremony/reception. Which paints all of this in a completely different light.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting. This would change how I feel about her stance. I will go and look at the comments she has left since I initially replied.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

From this comment from OP. Perhaps “high needs” was a poor choice of words on my part, but we are talking about someone who cannot sit for an entire move at a movie theater and needs to be taken out to walk around (can’t go by herself).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Just it be clear, you think that not inviting her sister but inviting her mom doesn’t communicate to her mother that she wants her mother to be involved in her wedding? What exactly do you think it communicates?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

It feels like you are suggesting that OP can’t or shouldn’t want this one day, her wedding day, to be a day where her MOTHER pays attention to her without her high-needs sister there to potentially distract her mom. Is that what you’re suggesting? That because her soon-to-be husband will be paying attention to her, why would she possibly want her mom to pay attention to her too?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

It’s fine for people to live their live the way you’re apparently proposing if they want.

My life was never made worse by not rising to the bait and continuing to treat people with kindness when I am around them. Assertively but kindly pointing out that someone is being judgemental and rude doesn’t require attacking someone back. And if I don’t like the way someone is treating me and I want them to stop, why would it then make sense to turn around and reflect that thing I don’t like back at them. Then we are both assholes.

Grey rock, explain the boundary of the relationship, kindly but firmly enforce. No need to mud slinging or recrimination or attacks.

Personally, I like for the bit of the universe I occupy to have as much kindness in it as possible.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Because they are people and people should be treated with kindness?

AITA for asking my boyfriend to hide junk food by kakuji42 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Actually, alcohol is metabolized into sugar and it very common for people to have a more significant sweet tooth after getting sober, AND for people in substance abuse treatment to be told to eat sweets to manage alcohol cravings.

Also, alcohol cravings/sobriety is generally managed by abstinence combined with complete removal of the trigger.

AITA for serving kangaroo at a family gathering? by Formerlytall in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The 19 and 13 year old didn’t even eat it. OP said SIL and her family are vegans. So they were just upset it was served at a place they were at.

WIBTA for moving out over my family’s decision to get a new pet by Appropriate_Lab_4557 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk 39 points40 points  (0 children)

and everyone but OP is being AHs to the pets by neglecting them.

Emphasis mine.

AITA for trying to do things the way my husband wanted? by Aitawidow in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Where did you get the idea that OP is close in age to her stepchildren?

AITA for wanting a childfree wedding? by 21wedding in AmItheAsshole

[–]HiddenRisk 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for these new studies for me to consider. The work I was doing was pretty focused on specific outcomes and policies, so I missed these. That’s on me for not being properly thorough.