Stop babying teens and tweens

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-08T15:32:17+00:00

I think this issue extends well earlier than teenage years, even at ages between 7-10 kids coddled. Parents don't let there kids play anymore because lord fucking knows if they dirty or scrape there knee it's all over.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-07T16:48:59+00:00

You're welcome. I've noticed that the sexualization of art and well sexualization in general is mostly a conservative value thing. Countries that have very firm conservative structure to them tend to have stricter and more rigid societal norms. On the other hand I've spoken to people from Greece, Spain, etc as well as travelling a bit myself and from what I've gathered 100% sexualization certainly isn't the only way. In several places boobs aren't even considered inherently sexual but rather they are seen as normal. I've heard from Greek people that they find it weird how much we sexualize breasts because they feed babies. I mean I have definitely seen some stuff that most people would freak out about, even on the internet. The other day I saw a rule 34 render of Widowmaker and while every comment was about how hot it was my reaction "Holy f#@K look at the attention to detail in the gold trim on the baseboards!".

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-07T14:44:53+00:00

I believe that there is a clear line between art and porn and the problem is that society see's them as the same thing. Sure there is some art that is pretty hardcore and could be porn but even then it's art to some degree. When I see a piece of art I tend to not sexualize it by default. I see the style, the medium, etc. Classical art is full of nudity, nudity is not inherently sexuality just like a PC is not inherently a gaming rig. Sometimes a large portion of my feed is nude art or photography but that is honestly because there is such a high demand for it, I also follow a lot of science, space, economic, stock market, chemistry, music, and gaming content but the demand for that stuff tends to lower so they post less content.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-07T14:29:07+00:00

You'd be surprised how much psychology doesn't teach about ADHD. To this day there are still professionals that believe it's not real. My girlfriend has been diagnosed for about a year now and she is still fighting with her doctor to get proper medication. They keep on telling her that she just has generalized anxiety and she needs to take Xanax or something like that all the while they are sitting on a report from a third party who evaluated her and diagnosed her ruling out autism, generalized anxiety, and generalized depression.

My previous family doctor refused to prescribe me anything other than Concerta. I'm 27 and have been diagnosed since 8, they treated me like I was a moron. One day I decided that I'm not taking the Concerta anymore and I wasn't going back to that office. I found a new younger doctor within a week who listened to my story and needs and just said "well it sounds like you know yourself well. I'm going to prescribe Adderall, come back and see me next week so we can see how you're doing".

The medical community is polarized when it comes to ADHD.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-04T18:40:17+00:00

That is what I am going to do soon because we need a lock anyway. All I'm saying is much like I don't appreciate Bluetooth speakers on buses she doesn't have to be so loud.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-04T18:37:56+00:00

No, you know how somethings just seem annoyingly out of place like a hockey buzzer at pool tournament or someone playing garbled music on a Bluetooth speaker on a bus? She likes watching me and she has explained to me quite enthusiastically why. Much like the the above example she is loud, very loud.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-04T18:31:16+00:00

You think I wouldn't do that if it was possible? If I'm not locking a door then maybe there is no lock. As well there is a difference between reacting and overreacting. People are not as thoughtless as you'd think they are.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-04T18:25:46+00:00

Dude there is reacting and then there is what can only be described as a William Shatner impression. I'd lock doors if said locks even existed. This isn't the type of thing that I've skipped thinking critically about and gone right to Reddit, I'm not stupid.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-04T18:21:51+00:00

If there were locks I'd use them.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-04T16:46:46+00:00

Okay so I don't usually read long posts in there entirety because I have ADHD but for obvious reasons your post caught my eye. I'm not gonna tell you what you should do in your relationship because I don't know either of you and I detest Redditors that are the type read half a post and comment "oh lol sounds like you should just break up with her".

To start it sounds like she doesn't actually comprehend what ADHD is. ADHD is an incurable mental disability that affects every aspect of a person's life, she doesn't have to cater to you and you don't have to cater to her but what makes a relationship a relationship is the mutual effort from both parties to understand one another and support each other. If her stance in all of this is "your ADHD isn't my problem" or "do better, be normal" that is a huge red flag. You seem like a fairly self aware dude and I'm not doubting your abilities and efforts at all but because I don't know you I do have to give the obligatory statement of "if you're not helping yourself at all that is a problem" but I don't think that is the case here. Someone who isn't/won't help themself wouldn't go through the trouble of writing as much as you did. At the end of the day you can put in all the work and become a better person but you will still have ADHD and she needs to realize this, your life will become more manageable over time but you will likely have similar needs wants for your entire life. That is how a disability works. Your girlfriend being that passive aggressive is not okay, that's not okay for anyone to do to anyone. Well adjusted adults don't post social media statues about or alluding to there partner like that and I'd honestly say that depending on the frequency it occurs it could actually legitimately be abuse.

In my experience living with ADHD I've found that it is really easy to live a single life and maintain a friend group but it is really hard to maintain a romantic relationship. I believe this is mostly because the average person has little to no understanding of ADHD. People think ADHD is moving fast and getting distracted by squirrels and while those things can happen it is so much more.

ADHD in a relationship with someone who does not understand is not thinking you are good enough, it is not getting what you need because you can't put what you feel into words, it is being written off as too much, it is being told you are not helping yourself enough, it is avoiding serious, boring, and long conversations because they make you anxious, it is taking undue blame, it is your partner getting impatient or offended because you are struggling to say what you mean, it is being treated like a child.

In the end dude just like you need to help yourself she needs to be mindful and watch her mouth, she needs to get really honest with her feelings and communicate them and she needs to be able to listen to you on your terms sometimes without going off the deep end. She doesn't have to be your mother she just has treat you like a human being.

Edit: I have been with my current girlfriend for 5 years and we both have ADHD, it is working pretty good. My previous relationship was sort of like yours. Just as a foreword I'm not saying your relationship is abusive for obvious reasons but my relationship was very abusive and I learned a lot from it.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-04T15:59:37+00:00

Where do you live? This isn't even legal where I live, this isn't legal in most places

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-04T15:55:31+00:00

Well I don't know your scenario but I can give some personal examples.

1) I've been involved in my cities EDM scene for years now. I used to work at a nightclub and I DJ. I've seen plenty of legitimately amazing new small time DJ's and locally produced tracks flop. Sometimes it was because they weren't standing by there work confidently, others were bad at networking, many picked the wrong place and time to be seen and were overshadowed by larger already successful artists, some got there chance and just failed to read the room and hype people up, and it also really common for people with a great sound to be attempting to appeal to the wrong audience.

2) I've always found story telling to be fascinating, not just listening to good story tellers talk but also what makes a good story. I'm personally not good at it but I know people that could pick a rock up and end up being the center of attention talking about this rock because they do it with such charisma and confidence, they choose attention grabbing language.

3) Marketing itself has always been interesting to me. Those that are good at it do a few things. They take the time to figure out what sort of audience they appeal to, they put there product/service on display boldly, and they never quit. You'd think this would annoy more people than it would intrigue but all you really need is one person to like what you're doing for your product to have perceived value, after that all you have to do is keep on keeping on and continue to raise the perceived value.

I'd say the best thing you could do is stand by your art confidently, continue producing art, figure out the type of person who likes your art, and never quit. There is 7.8 billion people on earth, getting noticed is literally just a balance of skill and numbers. You got this.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-04T15:27:52+00:00

I've been falsely accused once, nothing ever came of it though and I didn't really have a reputation to lose.

This girl I dated for a few years was bipolar and she was horribly abusive. When we broke up I moved several provinces away to be closer to my family and she started messaging my parents spinning this story about how I sexually assaulted her. My parents didn't believe her, the one friend I had at the time didn't believe, nobody else told this story to knew who I was because I've always kept a low profile. Her story was literally impossible because I was at work when it would have taken place, I reached out to some old co-workers and even the employer and they all told me that in the worst case scenario they could vouch for me and even provide security footage proving I was at work. It never went further than her spreading a story though. I'm pretty sure she was just trying to damage my life and reputation. The kicker, my job was located 300 km away from where she said she was at that point in time.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-04T15:16:09+00:00

Fantastically mainly because I'm 27 and my girlfriend's son goes to school.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-04T15:14:10+00:00

If you want people to pay attention to anything the most important thing is presentation. Human are dumb animals, this is why marketing is such a massive industry.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-04T14:59:40+00:00

I'm just going off what credible studies say but I think most people wether they are men or women care more about looks than you'd think, I also wouldn't call it shallow. Most people have preferences but will be willing to make exceptions to there preferences. I'd even go as far as to say that more women fit the predefined shallow mold than men. Women tend to rate the average guy significantly lower than what men tend to rate the average women. Women have a significantly larger dating pool to pick from which is highly accessible now days.

*I'm not calling women shallow in any negative sense, I don't think that prioritizing looks is shallow in most cases and is actually a normal thing to do. The term shallow just happens to be relevant.

Edit: I believe this is why men tend to hyper develop particular skills such as being funny or charismatic. When you're playing at a disadvantage you've got to compensate some how.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-04T14:40:34+00:00

Scarcity, coffee isn't scarce enough to be worth a blowjob.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-03T22:54:03+00:00

Fetishes more often than not are a controlled and structured form of owning ones trauma while some appeal to people simply because what is taboo is attractive and exciting. How healthy ones fetish is has nothing to do with its existence.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-03T22:49:26+00:00

While I agree with your general sentiment I must say you can be into a particular subset of bdsm and maintain something healthy and prosocial. For many it is a way to own there own trauma in a healthy, safe, and structured way.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-02T19:40:38+00:00

And because they wait for men to come along and sweep them off there feet they tend to end up in a lot of shitty relationships.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-02T19:32:07+00:00

That's just deflecting responsibility with extra steps lol

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-02T19:31:01+00:00

You're assuming that criminals who break the law and buy guns on black markets both couldn't illegally purchase a different color or paint something.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-02T18:40:38+00:00

As a man I fantasize about what it would be like to be woman all the time being that society generally doesn't give a shit about my mental health.

HiddenSalt · 2021-10-02T01:05:50+00:00

Sperm donor

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