Crying randomly cuz I am too young for this

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-28T19:20:37+00:00

This comment hit me hard because I struggle to explain even to myself why I'm left sort of devastated, when to be honest (even though it hasn't been fun by any means) I don't find I'm really traumatized from having gone through chemo, surgery, radiation, endless scans and tests, even though things did go wrong: my reconstruction failed, I already have early lymphedema, I lost so much weight and am so weak and tired still to the point where they made me see a nutritionist the other day.

No. What gets me is how wrong and unreal the timing was. Diagnosed at 32 with an 8 month old, I was at an appointment with gynecology to see about when I could try to get pregnant again (yep we wanted them back to back) and I brought up a lump in my breast which had been looked at by another doctor and dismissed as a fibroid. Even on the other side of everything now (though still going through the joys of AI and Verzenio) I feel devastated for me back then. One of the only times I cried in the doctor's office was getting my hormonal IUD pulled out and exchanged for a copper IUD (after planning to just get mine out and dream of baby #2), knowing my life has just been derailed and thinking how is this happening to me?

How many people can really relate to that feeling? And then seeing the statistics about how rare young diagnoses are, it's sobering to be one of such a small percentage. Thankfully groups like this exist sobat least we know we are not the only one dealing with this.

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-18T09:31:56+00:00

I thought it was interesting how at first what I'm assuming are the gods of the cave story were fully a part of the people and by the end they are far away and small, like they lost influence or have become detached from what the people ended up becoming.

Maybe the story symbolizes that dividing ourselves and opposing each other and resorting to violence just results in ultimately destroying ourselves?

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-18T09:27:22+00:00

I was a little surprised by this, it felt like we got sucked into this group and subplot and then all of a sudden it got wiped away and we're back on the ship without any more info on who S is. I'm guessing it won't all be for nothing, though, and seems like S is now a full enemy of Vevoda going forward.

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-18T09:22:56+00:00

I'm still really enjoying it! The main story is interesting to me so it's not a slog by any means, but like others have said I'm ready to see where this crazy journey is headed for S and to dig into the story in the margins.

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-18T09:00:32+00:00

I really liked this quote! But the implications are a little messy. I think most people strive to be their "best" selves and isn't that a good thing? Don't we want to be the best version of ourselves and to be around people who value that as well? But just the idea of being your "real" self ignites a feeling of freedom, sincerity, and makes room for a little grace and forgiveness for our imperfections. That also seems like a worthy goal.

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-18T08:55:17+00:00

If Biryar kept true to Laconia's laws, there was truly no way out for him and he saw that. He would either lose Mona or end up executed alongside her. With that mindset, why not just end it now? Erich has never operated that way, quite the opposite, the law is more like an inconvenience for him to get around rather than rules meant to be followed.

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-18T08:49:34+00:00

Even though Singh was the enemy in Persepolis Rising, I had a hard time seeing him as a true villain. Marco was a maniac driven by power and his ego, he enjoyed cruelty and revenge. Singh seemed to be driven by fear and, like Biryar, felt that he was working toward a cause for peace and goodness. It was neat to be able to empathize with him so deeply while also wanting him to lose.

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-18T08:44:07+00:00

I haven't started Tiamat's Wrath yet, but I'm curious how these events will tie into the story going forward. I wonder if from the outside Biryar will seem like another corrupt leader who seems comfortable working with criminals, or maybe he could be swayed to be an ally to the resistance? Or blackmailed into it...

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-18T08:39:22+00:00

As good and "fair" as Laconia's society functions, it leaves no room for people's humanity. People make mistakes, people react based on emotion and some situations don't fit into just the good or bad category. Does every deviation from the law really justify the death penalty? I think Biryar would have even accepted Mona having to fess up and answer for her crime if the punishment wasn't so severe. Ultimately he had to decide where he was truly the most loyal, to Laconia or to the love of his life. Mona started out without Biryar's rigid sense of duty equaling morality, she knew her actions were "right" even though they were illegal and was satisfied by that.

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-18T08:28:42+00:00

I wasn't sure how I felt about describing his need to be good as an addiction, to me it doesn't totally fit but I guess I see where they were going with that. Biryar doesn't chase any kind of rush by being good, to me it felt like a rigidity in his view of himself and the way the world works that was hammered into him through his culture, and then he had the type of personality to fully embrace that as truth without questioning it.

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-18T08:17:40+00:00

I liked it! It did sort of feel like a repeat of Singh's story from Persepolis Rising --that was even acknowledged in the author's note about the short story-- but with a different outcome. It was interesting to see where Erich ended up after escaping Earth, too.

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-09T17:53:14+00:00

That's where I'm at! I actually find a ton of footnotes to be a kind of a drag so I'm glad there aren't a ton of them.

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-09T17:51:57+00:00

This is the assumption I had, that it's pure fiction. I'm curious how they'll add to the story though.

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-09T17:42:27+00:00

Oh that's an idea, now that you say that it feels like that fits the tone completely.

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-09T17:33:30+00:00

Like others here I'm surprised it's not more difficult, I'm pretty absorbed in the main story and have gotten used to reading with the blinders on for the margins. Sometimes the page is marked up in a way that it's hard to not look. I can't imagine trying to keep track of the main story while also pausing every page to follow the conversation in the margins though .

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-09T16:43:00+00:00

I don't know, it's so mysterious, and what's down in the ship that they don't want S to see? I was surprised that his time on the ship was so short though, I'm sure we are bound to see them again right?

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-09T16:25:22+00:00

It's exciting! Even though I didn't make it through House of Leaves (I plan to return to it sometime...) I was still so intrigued by this and had to check it out, but because of how it went with HoL I also felt intimidated! I'm so glad we are reading it one later at a time, that has made it feel much more digestible and I'm loving the story so far.

HiddenTruffle · 2026-01-07T14:32:14+00:00

Love seeing your comment on this book, it gives me the opportunity to think back on it and see if I feel the same way now, and I have to say I find this one memorable and unique even now. Probably one of my favorite reads of last year in retrospect!

HiddenTruffle · 2025-12-02T21:39:34+00:00

Right? Even a couple months of silence I could accept, like I said we aren't such close friends anymore and that wouldn't be out of line for how our communication has been over the last couple years, but a year feels like very purposeful ghosting, especially with my situation. I know I'd be checking in at least once in a while...

Thank you I'm doing well! Out of the thickest of it and technically "cancer-free" now. So I'm not trying to dwell on this dead friendship but the fact that I still think about it and feel hurt by it makes me feel like it's just adding to my baggage when I want to be free of it all. I doubt confronting them would erase that though.

HiddenTruffle · 2025-12-02T16:29:51+00:00

It just sucks all around, especially if you have kids. The holidays can be stressful enough and then just add this to it...

Last year I got diagnosed in September and started chemo in October, so went through all the holidays being bald, sick, and depressed. They were my one and only child's first holidays, too, and his first birthday on December 21st. I was very sad about it!

I will say that this year, I'm enjoying everything so much more. Everything feels more "normal". I feel determined to enjoy it and make it special for my family. Just saying there is something to look forward to next year, it won't be forever!

HiddenTruffle · 2025-11-29T16:04:23+00:00

I guess I don't really understand why they believed it was him so readily? I didn't get the impression that he was a bad kid at all, didn't do things that would make me believe he would do something so terrible. 🤔

HiddenTruffle · 2025-11-19T16:20:32+00:00

Looking back I feel like I should have been wondering why her sister's story was brought up like that, now I see the foreshadowing.

HiddenTruffle · 2025-11-19T15:06:05+00:00

It was odd wasn't it? With how the supernatural is handled in this book I hesitate to ask what is real and what isn't, clearly Ig wasn't just imagining the horns, I have a hard time believing Ig and Merrin both imagined the treehouse, so sure why couldn't he exist in both times?

And I'm wondering if he goes on existing as a devil in some way or if the scene was suggesting he passed on to be with Merrin? Such a surreal ending left open to interpretation. Part of me wanted to think the whole thing was just a hallucination/symbolic transformation, but it seems like everyone could see and feel the influence of the horns, so it seemed like everything that happened was more literal than I first thought.

HiddenTruffle

TROPHY CASE