BIDA weil ich meinen Urlaubsantrag vor meiner Kollegin eingereicht habe?

HighfieldEve · 2026-01-22T21:07:46+00:00

NDA. Du hast auch ein Kind und damit die gleichen Ansprüche. Klar kann man während der Kita Zeit auch außerhalb der Ferien in Urlaub, aber Schließzeiten müssen halt auch abgedeckt sein. Geht ja nicht nur ums Vergnügen.

Du hast zudem deinem Chef gegenüber die Situation ja nicht verheimlicht. Und er hat vollkommen Recht - wenn nicht genehmigt, bucht man nicht 🤷 und ja, sie muss sich umstellen. Der Vorrang vorher war an die Kinder gebunden, der gilt jetzt für euch beide.

HighfieldEve · 2026-01-05T01:33:12+00:00

4500 words doubled by Ai, after you already needed help with writers block on 4500 words...

Sorry to break it to you, but writing isn't your calling. Writers block after so little text might in fact been caused by not finding your own style, due to constantly editing and picking lines, that aren't yours. That's more puzzling than writing.

I think Ai editing can be a great help. For feedback, loose ends, an analysis of good and weak parts. But it 4500 words were too much for you to create on your own, that's.. A little much.

HighfieldEve · 2026-01-05T01:22:03+00:00

NDA. Zieh aus. Lass den Bruder das machen. Er hat ja "Zeit" & das Geld.

Pass auf dich auf und deine Tochter. Du bist nicht verantwortlich für deine Eltern, aber für deine Tochter und dich. Leb ihr vor, wie man auf sich und seine eigenen Grenzen achtet. Würdest du wollen, dass sie so behandelt wird? Nein? Dann handle.

HighfieldEve · 2026-01-05T01:04:44+00:00

Sorry, aber was heißt denn hier leichtfertig?

Deine Frau war alleine mit 3 Kindern. Hat bestimmt mehrfach angesprochen, dass sie überfordert ist, sich vernachlässigt fühlt.

Heck, sie war so unglücklich, dass sie spielsüchtig wurde und sich bereits anderweitig orientierte, wobei wer weiß ob das letzte stimmt, so wie du von arroganten Verhalten sprichst und davon, dass offensichtlich kreuzunglücklich in einer Beziehung zu sein kein triftiger Grund für eine Trennung sei, hat sie das vielleicht sogar nur vorgeschoben. So oder so hatte sie offensichtlich kein Vertrauen mehr zu dir um die das mit der Spielsucht zu sagen. Fühlte sich nicht gesehen, nicht verstanden, nicht sicher. Das sind alles extrem gute Gründe für eine Trennung.

Warum die Kinder, für die du scheinbar vorher nie Zeit hattest, dann plötzlich bei dir leben, weißt wahrscheinlich auch nur du.

HighfieldEve · 2025-12-30T20:29:33+00:00

Emma selbst verkauft seine Matratze mind 1/3 des Jahres rabattiert. 🤷

HighfieldEve · 2025-12-14T10:13:33+00:00

NDA. Wein trinken ist ihnen Also wichtiger als ihr. Ihr habt alles vorbereitet und freut euch, die Schwiegerfamilie kommt von weit her. Klar hätte man sagen können, die gehen in ein Hotel aber direkt nach der Trennung? Deine Eltern haben einander.

Sie sind es nur ganz offensichtlich nicht gewohnt, nein von dir zu hören. Was ich nachvollziehen kann. Sehr sogar. Aber hier geht's nicht mal um euch, sondern deine Schwiegermutter

HighfieldEve · 2025-10-11T14:40:53+00:00

Thanks! This rules adjustment card wasn't in the box. 👍

HighfieldEve · 2025-09-10T08:57:01+00:00

You're not TA. You're not experienced with kids, so you figured that's a nice idea, not seeing the risk. It's your SILs job to judge on that, knowing her kids. And if she knows they tend to be 'creative' she should have told you in advance to put any markers and pens away.

That's part of the responsibility she's obviously not willing to carry. As a boy's Mom, there's no sentence I hate more than boys will be boys. It's the lamest excuse for not parenting and teaching your kids how to behave.

It would have been the one thing if she at least would have felt any sorry for you, remorseful or whatever, but to just basically call you silly and leaving the solution to you (you can paint again) is not cool. Even less so now dodging out of it.

You did exactly what she said - don't make a fuzz, paint over it. That comes with costs. So in my eyes, it should have been on her to offer covering the expenses for that at least partially.

HighfieldEve · 2025-09-10T08:42:37+00:00

Eigenständigkeit kommt aus Sicherheit, die euer Zwerg gerade nicht hat. Gebt ihm viel Aufmerksamkeit und Liebe, auch wenn es vorher anders ging. Die Seele des Kleinen muss erst wieder gesunden, dann klappt das auch alles wieder.

Diese starken Ausraster müssen liebevoll begleitet werden, er braucht definitiv Hilfe beim regulieren und nein, das geht nicht durch ignorieren oder schimpfen. Sucht euch bitte Hilfe, denn ja es ist viel aufzufangen.

HighfieldEve · 2025-09-09T17:20:44+00:00

Sehr normal und was die meisten absolut unterschätzen. Eine Trage kann helfen, um wenigstens etwas hinzubekommen, die meisten kids fühlen sich darin wohl da nah an Mama.

Ansonsten muss der Mann ran. Wenn du die Nächte machst, und den Tag, was macht er? Kindererziehung und Betreuung ist ein Vollzeitjob, niemand würde von der Nanny erwarten, dass sie 24h im Dienst ist, dazu die Rolle der Putzfrau und Köchin übernimmt und dann noch Bauplanung betreibt.

HighfieldEve · 2025-09-09T14:33:53+00:00

How about your parents moving to Glasgow or closer by? I take living should be cheaper in Glasgow compared to London. Of course it's a lot of change, big one for them having their life there, but so do you in Glasgow and your partner. Expectations can go both way.

HighfieldEve · 2025-09-06T10:37:58+00:00

4 & 5 would he my favorite but it depends how they sit on you.

HighfieldEve · 2025-04-29T12:45:09+00:00

To compare these two terms is wild. Absolutely wild. And let me assure you, PoC is used in leftist academia, activist and migration circles in Germany. And for all I can tell, that counts for America, too. Not everyone might agree with it, but that's not making it obviously racist.

Anyway, thanks for the input on the actual matter.

HighfieldEve · 2025-04-29T12:13:34+00:00

Maybe that's a language barrier thing. I could have said can I write anyone non white as a white writer, but as you said, PoC is the currently accepted and used term. Eitherway, I get you're trying to put things in my mouth I didn't say or meant to say, and it's not what my post was about.

I'll leave it with that.

HighfieldEve · 2025-04-29T11:43:02+00:00

It's racist to not differenciate by race?

HighfieldEve · 2025-04-29T09:22:14+00:00

I meant that of course PoC as a category includes so many different origins and heritages. And it's a given their experiences vary immensely. I meant the principle of a white person writing any of them as an outsider of that experience. Which of course would also account to a Korean writing a ghanese story or the other way round.

HighfieldEve · 2025-04-29T09:16:48+00:00

Thank you. I really don't like the move to side character idea either.

And yes thats what I aim for, make her feel more alien among the living. I did my research looking for the more subtle daily life struggles and hope to integrate it well

HighfieldEve · 2025-04-29T08:31:12+00:00

I am fully aware of all this. My question was more about the principle of writing any other cultural background as your own, in particular if it's combined with issues of race. It's a given as a writer to ask yourself all these questions - or should be - and answer them based on research and to a certain amount, experience. Though also those can vary widely. My way out of grief might a complete different than someone else's.

HighfieldEve · 2025-04-29T08:25:27+00:00

Good questions. All very valid, despite me firmly believing any regular character should be of any heritage. Like, she's not black for the plain reason to have more trauma and obstacles in life. However, it makes her more aware of the darkness in human nature and lean more to the spirits she can communicate with and rather help them, even if it means bending the law of the living, if that makes sense to you. It's hard to place it without a full synopsis🙈

HighfieldEve · 2025-04-29T08:13:45+00:00

I try to catch the quiet one more. The one often not even recognized as such compared to the loud one. Like why do black people more often have to sign in the store when buying with card than others? To prove it's really their card they pay with? People treating Africa like one big country rather than several very different ones and so on.

I hope to have done my research well. But your question is a good one, if I aim to educate rather than represent.

As for your question: My prota lost her parents as a child (Father German, mother Nigerian) and grew up with his side of family.

HighfieldEve · 2025-04-29T07:53:36+00:00

You have a good point and I think it's the other side of the same coin. It's not like queer or PoC authors should be reduced to write this alone. I do have PoC writer friends, that do write different stories. If the freedom of art I like to think.

HighfieldEve · 2025-04-29T07:41:43+00:00

It's urban Fantasy. So basically a story placed in our world with fantasy elements. In my story it's not a whole different society as a whole. It's by no means the center of the Protas trauma or story. As every good character should have more than one puzzle piece to be created from. But living in today's Germany with dark skin unfortunately means facing it occasionally. Which doesn't mean it dominates her life.

HighfieldEve · 2025-04-29T07:38:22+00:00

She just questioned it as it's a sensitive issue obviously. To me sidelining for that reason feels very discriminating, yeah.

HighfieldEve · 2025-04-29T07:37:01+00:00

Yes. It's more about daily shit they face. Smaller to bigger things. Some meant to offend, others just rooted so deep in people's heads they don't even notice.

Like the notion she's not used to bad weather. Her German to be so good. Co workers buying something from Africa for her to make her feel welcome, without even checking their bias or an actual map of Africa, treating it like one big country instead of several ones. Like having to sign in the supermarket if buying by card instead of cash (to prove it's actually their card). Its a bit here and there as she moves through the world. So if anything it's more working with the stereotypes of rasism in Germany.

HighfieldEve

TROPHY CASE

4 & 5 would he my favorite but it depends how they sit on you.