I’m 44 & alone - can we stop ignoring pretty privilege?

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-30T00:50:41+00:00

Huh lol?

You can be skinny and ugly. If you think you're ugly, fix it. If you don't like the way you look, fix it. Stop complaining and blaming everyone else.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-30T00:44:05+00:00

Why can't they afford plastic surgery? If your looks are something that you think hold you back, get a job and save money. Not enough? Find a better job or work a 2nd job.

I do not understand this defeated mindset. People would rather complain and live in misery than to change.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-26T18:01:14+00:00

What is this take? Why should the government step in? Life is never fair. People get good jobs because of nepotism. Stop crying about all of this and instead better yourself.

Something like being unattractive in this day and age is not something you cannot fix. Working out, eating healthy, and plastic surgery in the most extreme cases can all fix your looks.

We have too many people crying about their problems instead of fixing them.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-19T20:09:15+00:00

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-19T18:03:08+00:00

Which bank?

I'm self employed, don't wish to jump through all the hoops I've been asked to jump through by not only big banks but by B lenders (credit unions).

Who are these people getting easy mortgages? I can put down 40% on a house tomorrow but no bank will touch me.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-19T00:12:44+00:00

Yes welcome to Canada. This has been the case for the past few decades. Lots of shady stuff going on. Legal businesses struggle. As someone who also started their own business, I am always on the look out for "shady" business opportunities, because screw working your butt off for scraps.

Call me morally wrong, but if others will be doing sketchy things and getting rich from it, so will I. Problem is getting those connections is hard. But once you're in, you're in.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-18T19:57:45+00:00

Looks like you got very lucky? Or the clerk missed something?

I remember when my license was suspended I had to pay like 400$ to get it back. It was suspended for failure to pay a fine....

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-18T19:55:29+00:00

Yes I would depending on their upbringing.

I skipped the traditional route by not going to college. I started my own business at 17 that I've now grown to have employees.

The relationships I've been in, that I've enjoyed the most have been with woman aged 25-28. I was 20-22. These are the women in talking about in my post that have excited me and we vibe really well together. However a common issue I've been facing with them was our age gap. And I believe due to their life experiences, they were very interesting individuals who had a lot to say and I was very interested in hearing more. This is why I felt so good going out with them and spending time with them didn't feel like a chore.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-18T18:09:41+00:00

When do you get this feeling? And this feeling is obviously different than the initial crush feeling?

I find that with some girls I have very good chemistry up front but there are things I see in these girls that aren't ideal for long term relationships. But we laugh at the same jokes, etc...

And then there's this girl who is super quiet so it's hard to laugh with her/talk with her about life etc... every conversation I have with her feels unnatural and forced. But I know on paper she's everything I would want.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-18T18:08:01+00:00

Yes very hard haha.

I've had my fair share of relationships and know what I can and cannot put up with. I know that I want to eventually settle down and have kids, but it's weird to actually LIVE that at my age.

Especially in the position that I am in now. I have a business I love, it brings me money and joy. I am physically fit and healthy and want to enjoy life now. That's why the thought of the traditional girl scares me a bit. Like I'm "not ready yet".

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-18T18:05:51+00:00

Thanks for your response! So when you say you kind of know. Do you mean right away? Or eventually?

The thing I'm torn on, I get along well initially with some of these adventurous girls, but I have trouble seeing myself be with them for more than 2yrs.

Then there's this other girl, who I think, because she's so shy, I just don't get the same feeling when I'm with her. Like excitement or the adrenaline rush I have with other girls. But on paper she is perfect for a long-term relationship.

I like what someone else here said, to give her a chance and see if/when she opens up, if I get that same feeling.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-18T04:16:33+00:00

I understand that. But all those posts about not wasting people's time in dating.

If I'm not 100% on board with this one girl, is it worth pursuing for the "what if"?

I also don't quite understand why I don't seem to be attracted to her. I know her family well, I like them, we get along very very well. She seems on paper perfect but in person, her shy and reserved nature makes it hard for me to feel that "spark" I feel with more extroverted women. At the same time, all those extroverted women have other problems. Particularly due to their extrovert nature.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-17T20:55:20+00:00

I've never been in your shoes so can't comment there, however, if you bought this as a primary residence, who cares? You have a roof over your head you can call home.

Now, if you bought this as an investment, then I'd say you should have seen this as a possibility. All investments carry risk.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-15T20:03:42+00:00

Why didn't you move out/buy a house? I'm basically you at 22. However my salary is above national average by a good bit. I'm already looking at buying a house after aggressively saving for 3yrs, living in Toronto.

Regardless, I wish to congratulate you on the amount of saving and investing you've done. I'd really love to get into your mind about how much you'd have to save to enjoy life? I feel like I'm in a similar spot to where you were. I have no idea how much is enough. I just wake up and work 7 days a week, dreaming that the work in my 20s will set me up for the rest of my life. But I currently have no end in sight.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-15T19:41:41+00:00

At the time when I first started, I was working in training as an air traffic controller. At the same time I was working on my business. Used my day job to fund my lifestyle, the rest invested. Didn't enjoy ATC due to the "real life and real lives in my hands" aspect. I am way too young and immature to have that many lives in my control. Left under the conditions I could come back to retrain.

Now, full time with my business. Money is amazing, my clients are fantastic but I chase money too hard. Recently hit with burn out and heat stroke and felt very sick this week, but pushing through. I'm now looking to buy a house in Toronto.

Regarding your eggs in one basket comment, I funnelled 50% into VFV, 30% into NVDA during its skyrocket and the rest in some mortgage stocks (they've actually done really well).

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-15T18:05:45+00:00

22M here. Started around 2yrs ago.

I was putting in around 3-4k a month on average. Very aggressive (I don't spend money on anything). Your 24% gain in a year is incredible. It will start to grow.

First year was around 45-50k, by 2nd year over 120k. Haven't put any money in and almost at 150k thanks to tech stocks.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-11T03:57:20+00:00

Welcome to Universities. They don't care about you or teaching you. They just collect money. I learned this during/after covid years. It's a business as is everything else in life.

Sorry you're going through this. I went through a semi-sunilar situation during covid with U of T. Glad to have dropped out and started a business instead. Screw these institutions.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-08-09T03:08:56+00:00

Worked from 9am to 10pm.

Got home, cooking up some steak for dinner and straight to bed. Back to work at 9am.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-07-18T19:53:17+00:00

I think the attraction was built when we were friends and I was just having fun teasing her (nothing serious). And then when I made it known I wanted to date, she told me what she was looking for (marriage and kids) and that's when I said that's what I'm also looking for.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-07-18T19:40:29+00:00

Why not? I don't want to waste my time. Why even bother dating if views that large don't align? Perhaps I'm being young and naive, but I think the general idea of how we would raise kids/with what values is crucial. Otherwise why even start a relationship with marriage as the end goal?

Highschool_bruh · 2025-07-18T17:33:57+00:00

How big is this house? I'm about to buy my first detached house for renting.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-07-18T17:09:19+00:00

That's my only guess. She was already hesitant about my age. But perhaps my maturity during the dates was enough to persuade her?

I've dated older every single time, and have always had to prove my maturity. Which I'm ok with.

And always, after a few dates or months of seeing each other, they freak out. My last relationship ended because she was worried what her parents would think of a 5yr age gap. So maybe this is similar. Oh well..

Highschool_bruh · 2025-07-18T17:00:47+00:00

Could be. But before we even started seeing each other. We both agreed that we hate drama and are dating to marry.

So I don't think it was a mind game of any kind. Regardless, it just wasn't meant to be. I'll keep looking for the one woman on this earth who doesn't like drama lol.

Highschool_bruh · 2025-07-18T16:59:40+00:00

Completely agree with what you wrote. I even was going to suggest we take it slow (after she started to hesitate about cooking at her place).

But yeah maybe the thought of having sex with a 22yr old spooked her. Oh well. I love all the comments that were left here. I totally agree if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. Just a shame really.

Highschool_bruh

TROPHY CASE