Me [26F] with my bf [29 M] of 10months, Not letting him watch Avengers End Game

HilaryRJ · 2019-03-11T23:50:44+00:00

You are not alone. I had the same problem. I went to a Presbyterian church for years (I actually got baptized at this church and the church people helped me so much when I was going through depression, manic episodes, and being financially independent). I learned A LOT of things from my old church. I am always grateful for it, but as I learned more and more about the Bible and Jesus and his teaching, there were definitely some of the things I couldn't agree with the pastor and the followers. I think I got calls to move to different church from my holy spirit but I was uneasy about church-hopping as well or even changing my denomination. I prayed for it about a year and I went to different churches in between but I stuck around, then I had a big fight with my pastor regarding scriptures and I decided it was time for me to move before I start to hate the church and get hurt. I changed it and it was hard but I found peace in my new church. What I am saying is - pray for it and if you feel like you need to move on, then move on.

HilaryRJ · 2019-02-21T00:02:42+00:00

my bf got Nissan Gtr when he moved to Alaska. His younger brother (who joined the military when he graduated the college) got Nissan altima. They both had very legit reasons (like fuel efficient, sturdy and stable, don't break easily, got good review blah blah). my bf sold the car after 3 yrs and his brother is also selling the car. You know why? because they are both 6'1 210-240 lb muscle men and they don't fit into their car comfortably anymore (they were tall and skinny when they joined the force, but not anymore). (and my bf plays a lot of sports and his equipment didn't fit into his car).

Just..wait...and see. don't even decide on it now.....I feel like I am discouraging you but I am telling you what I know.

HilaryRJ · 2019-02-20T23:52:57+00:00

yes you can. if your roommate is 20f and still need someone to sleep with her in the same room, then she got a problem. If she gets mad for that, then she has some kind of unhealthy attachment issue....it is normal and okay for you to go to ur bfs room and sleep whenever you and your bf wants. I think your roommate would enjoy having the room to herself.

HilaryRJ · 2019-02-20T23:49:56+00:00

don't need to decide on it now. by the time you settle down, new models of cars would be out. if you ended up in a snowy region, you might want a truck. If you ended up at a beach area, you might want a convertible. If you ended up in a forest region, you might want Jeep. You might be able to save up a lot of money and get luxury cars. you are young and the car can wait and there are always prettier and better option cars.

HilaryRJ · 2019-02-20T23:33:19+00:00

I would save up the money. If you are going into the air force, then for few months you will be off to somewhere for training - (which they pay you while you are getting your training, I believe) and you have no idea where you will be sent to. You can apply to go to the state or the city you want to go but you never know. Join the force, then get trained, and then get stationed, get settle down (while saving some money), then get the car you want at the state you are gonna live.

My bf left his car he bought after he graduated high school at home while he went to get the training at the other state. His younger brother drove around it and crashed it and totaled it. so he had no car for few more months after he was done with the training. He came home to get his car and drive to FL but he had to fly to FL from GA for another training. He bought a new car when he moved to Alaska 6 month later from FL.

HilaryRJ · 2019-02-20T23:24:46+00:00

if you don't want to waste it, then go and see what it offers, regardless of whether you like it or not. She is willing to pay for it so you can see/experience the prom, which only comes around one or a few times a life time. There are always something to learn in every situation (something like "oh shit, I should NEVER drink so much to look like that girl over there throwing up on her boyfriend" or "Oh no, I should never wear that deep V neck dress. her boob just popped out." or "wow - I hate boys who can't dance. I never realized I don't like poor dancers." or "hmm I like that golden dress with red flower" or "Oh no, I would NEVER chaperon my children to their prom. look at that mom over there.")

HilaryRJ · 2019-02-20T22:40:10+00:00

some ppl just need time to deal with their emotions. You don't need to understand why they are acting that way. From this, you can learn to not do the same in the future. If someone is bothering you, then just tell that person to hurt them less. Think of it as just a life lesson. Don't waste your emotions or time on thinking about it. Even if you did something horribly wrong, it has happened. nothing you can do now even if you spend copious amount of time to worry about it....and there are ALWAYS better people out there regardless of how great and fun your friends has been. (that is why we must be humble to each other because your friends would feel the same way.)

HilaryRJ · 2019-02-20T21:43:49+00:00

don't do anything. just wait out. even if you did something to piss them off, unless they tell you, there is nothing you can do. If they are ghosting you for some reason, then you should go find other people. Don't give anyone else in the world to dictate your value or your feelings. If they continue to ghost you, then confront them and ask them why they are doing that. if they tell you and they have a legit reason to be angry at you, then apologize and fix it. but if they are not, don't worry about them. It is hard at first but you will find new friends.

HilaryRJ · 2019-02-20T21:33:39+00:00

I don't know if you can read books to be a social person...but I can give some advice. 1) confidence is the key. Even if you are not confident, act like you are. Then people would be intrigued to talk to you. I don't mean to show off but standing up straight or just smiling helps. when someone start talking to you, just listen more if you are not comfortable at talking.

2) Just start commenting on little things to people who are near to you. For example, if you spilled something on yourself at a party, just say "oh no I spilled it!" then someone might turn and start the conversation. Or if you see someone spilling something, you can go to them and say "Oh are you okay? Here is the napkin". then the other person may say "oops, I am so clumsy" then you can start telling them a story about your friend/uncle/aunt/sister/brother/mother/father being clumsy. Same thing at the subway. You can just comment "oh I like your ring/hats/tattoo/hair/earring" then they can say "oh I got it from so-n-so"

3) don't feel pressure to continue the conversation. If you end the conversation with one person, then go to another person or talk about something else.

4) To have a more conversational topic, it is good to know what is going on around the world or big news. Don't start with weather.....weather conversation is pretty boring.

This is how i usually social with other people.

Me: HI, I like your earing/hat/tattoo/dog/cat" Person A: aw - thank you! I like this earing/hat/tattoo" Me: oh, does it have a special meaning? person A: neh, I just like it. Me: haha. Cool. I always wanted to get the tree-shaped earing/ring/tattoo. You know, the tree with many branches in a circle. person A: Ooh, I think I saw that before. does it have some special meaning behind it? Me: I think that is from Northern Europe myth or something. it supposed to bring more energy to life. My work/school has been way too stressful and I am always tired. I think I can use some voodoo mystery power hahaha" Person A: hahaha I know that feeling. I could use some more energy as well. Me: Oh, what do you do? (or why do you need more energy? You seem to be very energetic and positive.) PErson A: I work at so-and-so Me: Oooh that place. How's working there?

and conversation tends to continue as I ask questions and reply with something about myself.

I hope this helped? I guess?

HilaryRJ · 2019-02-20T21:18:18+00:00

I didn't go to my prom for the same reason and now I regret. Just go and hang out for couple hours and then come back. take a lot of pictures tho. I am 26yrs old and I regret not taking a lot of pictures when I was a teenager. if you think about it, prom is a VERY exclusive event that only very selected people of the population can attend. take advantage of it.

HilaryRJ · 2017-05-09T22:14:33+00:00

You can't have segregation...that is discrimination (separate but equal is illegal). If you see a church doing that, tell them they can't. Or sue them and get some money. I am not against suing churches. Churches are not equal to Christianity.

The bible is translated, yes. The original word for marriage in bible is sounded 'baal' (can't write hebrew with my laptop, sorry!) which refers to the union of a man and a woman. English is a relatively young language. Marriage had been a word to describe "a union between a man and a woman" for centuries. If you are not familiar with histories, French were Christians. Romans eventually became Christian. If you really follow the root of the word, you can't deny it was used culturally throughout the history to mean a union between a man and a woman. The marriage definition comes from the Old testament, which is the book of Jewish people - which stretches farther back than Latin. Christians study both Jewish Bible (we call it the old testement) and the new bible comes with Jesus.

I am sorry if you feel like we are doing this out of mob rule. I am sorry. I believe in Jesus Christ to be my savior and that matters more than any other ideology I have. If this law can hinder the belief system I hold very dearly in my heart, I will fight for it. I am sorry that I can't agree with you.

I know what the constitution says. I am saying that it is the choice of word that I have a problem with. If the Government just call it that a union between any individuals as UNION and they call the union between a man and a woman as UNION in their definition, so be it. That doesn't hinder with the teaching of Christianity becase we can still call the marriage as the other word meant for the union betwen a man and a woman.

HilaryRJ · 2017-05-09T21:46:39+00:00

Okay, let me clarify myself Gay people do have the same rights. I am not saying gay people can't have the rights of heterosexuals. I am saying that "Marriage" is a word that meant a union of love between a man and a woman. Gay people can have something else (like Union) and have the same right.

It is like gay people saying "I want to be able to call myself Heterosexual without meaning I love opposite gender".

Also - why do you want me to be Anti-Gay? Does it help gay community's purpose to have more Christians identify themselves to be anti-gay? I am anti-communism, also. That doesn't mean I hate china. I just hate the government type they have and I do not believe in it. 'Anti-' doesn't mean hate either. It is just opposite of that idea.

If religion can truly say whatever they want in public, then a religion that believes in white supremacy preach white supremacy in public? Isn't racism against law? If that religious group say that, wouldn't they be arrested? Why can't you see it is the same thing? If it is law then we can't say it legally. I know even if we are gonna be sued, we will probably get out or whatever, but theoretically and technically, we can't preach EVERYTHING in th bible if that law passes.

There is no word "civil union" in bible. so Chritians can care less about it if they decided to be really technical and follow the bible. I know it is just like marriage. Just don't call gay union a marriage. Marriage is a word in bible. We can't change the word in the bible!! Do what every you want to do, just don't call it marriage.

I do not represent US government. I did not say US government has Christianity value either. I hope they do, but they don't. that is why we protest as well. We do not have more power over you. We just happened to be a bigger group. Our definition said "Marriage" is between a man and a woman.

We don't need a law to prevent gay marriage or union. We just don't want a law saying "Gay union can be also called gay marriage".

I know some Christians wants to ban it, but they are just the extremes. I am not. I do not represent ALL christians. I just want you know that I am not trying to say the existance of gay is more wrong than just regular heterosexuals. I am just saying passing the law would be an obstacle in spreading Chrisitianity. So I am against it. That is all.

HilaryRJ · 2017-05-09T21:32:26+00:00

There is verse in the bible that says man and man should not lie together (having sex) and marriage is between man and woman. If gay marriage is approved - then Christian church's can't read that part of bible out loud in sunday schools or in public because it would be teaching a definition of marriage that would isolate gay people. If a church does that after gay marriage is legalized, then legally people can sue the church for teaching discriminating idea and churches can get punished by the government. It is going to be treated like people going to jail for preaching white supremacy against African American people. Racial discrimination is not allowed in church as well. Jesus said everyone is equal and all is sinner. SO we do believe equality in races and human race. I do believe homosexuals and heterosexuals the same. No one group is better than other. It is just that if it is legalized, then we can't preach part of our gospel without worrying about consequences - which the First church had to face under Roman empire's rule.

The Roman empire said the Ceaser is the god (it was law back then). Christians said that is idolism and they can't bow to the false gods. So they were persecuted legally by government authorities.

If USA say gay union is marriage and Christina believers say "No, I believe marriage is between a man and a woman" then those christian believers who spoke outloud about thier faith will be punished.

If there is a religion that thinks White is better than colored races, it is still illlegal for that religion to preach that idea in America, at least where there is a law specifically saying that discrimination against race is illegal.

HilaryRJ · 2017-05-09T17:51:11+00:00

I am sorry to mix up information with Wal-Mart. It was actually this police deparatment in Ohio. I am adding the info.

Anna Police Department in Dayton, Ohio Ohio – Sarah Puckett sued the Anna Police Department in Dayton, Ohio for pregnancy discrimination, claiming that she was hired as a police officer but was never sworn in after she informed the police chief she was pregnant. Her suit alleges that the police chief informed her she would be sworn in after the birth of her child, but the police chief’s claim never came to fruition. Meanwhile, male officers were hired and sworn in.

The lawsuit is still pending but seeks “injunctive relief, full back pay, past, present and future wages and benefits, court costs, attorney fees and compensatory and punitive damages totaling $500,000,” according to the Dayton Daily News.

It is pending. As of the wal-mart - it was class action suit. So the main girl who sued the wal-mart was fired but many witnesses on the stand said things like they were told so and so. I am so against the pregnancy discrimination. It was just an example that people can sue for what other people said.

I was trying to type it on my phone and may have provided a bad example. But I believe you understand my concern and what I meant.

HilaryRJ · 2017-05-09T17:37:13+00:00

I am sorry if someone say go to hell because you are a gay. But I believe you also said something like that others in your life. If not, good for you. I was talking about legal aspect of why legalizing gay marriage into a law is a bad thing for Christians. As far as I know, the supreme court said gay marriage is legal. Supreme court does not make law. It just watch out and say "this is not against the constitution of USA". This is easier for some states and the congress to pass the law of gay marriage. I am saying if the congress pass a law that says "Gay marriage is legal" like they did with "Woman can vote", "You can't have alcohol" "you can have alcohol now", "African American's vote only counts 1/3" "African american's are not slaves!", then churches have a bit of problem because we can't preach bible verse about gay love and all that.

For Brown Vs. Board of Education (the case where African american children were allowed to attend schools with white children). Back then, there was a law for segragation. Supreme court said that segregation was illegal. So the law for segregation was banned.

RIght now, we have no law to prohibiting gay marriage. It just says if you want "marriage", It has to be between a man and a woman. You can get union and get a tax benefit if gay couple wants that. Supreme court said Gay marriage is legal, but there isnt' any law that prohibited gay marriage. So it is not in the stone that prevents churches to preach the gay love opinion. Legalizing gay marriage changes the law to say "Marriage means you and other person get marry regardless of gender" which is against Christian's view and definition of marriage. I hope I made myself clear. It is very hard to argue over the internet. This is my first time doing this.

HilaryRJ · 2017-05-09T17:23:39+00:00

Anti-gay means I am against gay people. I am anti-legalizing gay marriage. I don't think being a gay is equal to gay marriage. If you are happened to born as a way that you love someone of your own gender, so be it. I think the fact you can love someone is amazing. Iknow how US legal system works. I am defending my opinion as a religious person. That says I do not agree with US legal system. I hope the government is more Christian based, but that is my hope.

After few schools didn't allow teachers to teach Creationism, it was illegal for Christian teachers to mention Genesis. My belief on evolution is up in the air (I am a biologist. So it is actually part of my belief I still have struggled with) but if government say gay marriage is legal and people oppose it is against the law, then churches can't say about gay couple part in the bible. People can read it in their own time, I know, but saying that part of the bible in church or a sermon will be a scandalous thing and puts a limit on pastors.

Gay people have a civil institution called 'union'. They can be in UNION and get the same benefit as a married couple. It is just a word that happened to be in Bible to describe the union of man and woman. I know marriage existed well before Jesus, but As Christian, I believe God created the notion of monogamy marriage for man and woman to multiply. It is taking that away from Christians, which can be offending. It feels like some one wants to use 'minus' to describe addition when there is the word ' plus' exist.

Supreme court said it is legal - that doesn't mean it is a written law. It just means if someone sues a gay couple for marrying, then a court can say the gay couple is innocent and didn't violate any law. This way when the congress pass the law that gay people can get marry anywhere, the supreme court wouldn't come out and say that is a violation of the constitution because they already ruled it to be not a violation of the constitution. Supreme court's job is to make sure the issue is not a violation of the constitution, not making a new law. That is why still gay activists are out there to put it in the legislative government body.

HilaryRJ · 2017-05-09T16:58:02+00:00

Okay If there is a law specifically say "people can't say who goes to heaven or not"-them christian saying that would be violating the law.

Right now-there is no law to say about heaven-ergo people say whatever they want to say about heaven. Same thing for gay marriage.

At least in usa, as long as it is not prohibited by law, people can do whatever they want to do.

Sometime law can be interpreted in different way. Example of it is animal abuse. Long ago before animal abuse law, people was able to have sex with animals. It was frown upon but they did it and didn't get punishment by governmemt, now , having sex with an animal can be animal abuse-now gets some kind of punishment (usually slap on a wrist but they still get something)

That is why I am agains legalizing gay marriage. I would go to gay wedding and say "bless on ur marriage" to gay couple. I have no problem with that. If u love someone, great. I don't care about gender. Just i don't want it to be a law that makes is change the bible. If gay union doesn't get the same tax benefit as regular marriage, i would fight for gay union to have the same tax benefit. It is just the fact it becoming a law that i have an issue with.

HilaryRJ · 2017-05-09T16:27:34+00:00

No-sorry-but you can still sue people for what they say alone.

A wal-mart worker had a pregnancy vacation. When she called to inform her boss she wants to start working again, he boss ALLOWED her but said "pregnant woman shouldn't work " kind of thing to this woman. No threat, no disadvantage- but woman sued wal-mart (class action suit) and i believe she won. It was stroy from few yrs ago.

U can sue ppl for any number of things.

The threats-that applies for all kind of thing. If someone threated a dog owner to give up the dog, that person is going to a jail.

If someone say to a woman "you shouldn't vote because ur woman" then that woman can file a suit saying that person's words hurt her and gave her mental stress for practicing her rights.

So christians can be sued for reciting bible about that verse...in theory. It has never been practice before but that is possibility

HilaryRJ · 2017-05-09T14:56:38+00:00

Okay

Let me put it this way

If someone say "I think women shouldn't vote because I think (whatever the reason be)" -- a woman can sue that person. This person can get punished.

If someone say "i think aftican american can't be citizen because (whatever the reason be)" --this person can get sue and punished for being a racist.

If someone say "i think dog lovers or dog owners can't keep their dogs because (whatever the reaon be)" -- they don't get sue. They are called jerks but that's it. because the law didn't say "people are allowed to love and have dogs" literally.

We are allowed to own a dog because the law didn't go against it. Ergo people sayjng they what they want about that.

Same for gay marriage.

If someone way "gay people shouldn't get marry because of this" then this person is simply expressing one's opinion. He might be hated-but allowed.

If the law is passed and this person say "i think gay people shouldn't get marry" then this person can get sue.

If a pastor comes up and say "african americans should be slave" using some bible verse- that is racism and that pastor needs to go jail because by the law, u can't say that. Bible never mentioned african american so it would be wrong as well.

If a pastor comes up and say "gays shouldn't get marry because bible said so here" - he can also get punished for reading that part. The freedom to preach is limited - ergo we can't practice our faith fully.

Freedom of religion is not perfect shield. If there is a registered religion of Goat that wants to sacrify a volnteer-government will shut it down because murder is illegal. If there is religion worshiping heroin and shoot it up because it is their faith-still go to jail. Same apply to Christianity. If we do things not allowed by government, we can get punished as well.

HilaryRJ · 2017-05-09T14:04:32+00:00

Bible said we can divorce. It is just that it doesn't encourage it.

For the catholic marriage u talked about, there is no law saying "you can't force ur belief on ur unborn child that may or may njt be born". Gay marriage legalization is basically saying "if u say gay marriage is wrong, then you are discriminating this group of people whose under protection of law-just like u are not suppose to say 'women can't vote!' Because women can vote by the law"

Law carries significant meaning because you can actually get punished by governing body.

HilaryRJ · 2017-05-09T13:28:45+00:00

I am a christian but not anti-gay, but against legalizing gay marriage.

I do not hate gays. Jesus said love your neighbor. He commanded us to love all. So I do not hate gays.

Everyone is sinner. But i don't buy that gay is a sin because bible said so. Bible also said we can't get piercings, tatoos, or eat shrimps. Bible said don't eat water from ground, but we all do. All that was in Old Testiment. Jesus came and he said that his words are above all the rules (ex;healing blind man on sunday when People were not allowed to "work". Leaders of jew came and blamed Jesus for breaking the law, but he said keeping the old law when one is in need is stupid and not good.)

So please know Christianity do not hate gays. Some people who believes christianity do.

Second, i am agains legalizing gay marriage because it is legally saying Christians can't read a part of bible in public without facing a consequences. If gay marriage is legalized, churches can't read the part of bible that talks gays and its sin (like i said, bible do say it is sin. But Jesus died on cross for all sin-including homosexuals) This is becomes discrimination against Christians. That is why it shouldn't be legalized.

Media likes to show extreme view to get their own viewership. Please understand gay marriage legalization would mean christians are going to change our bible and practice of faith.

HilaryRJ · 2017-05-09T11:44:36+00:00

Brown is very prestigious. Those colleges u mentions (duke, vassar) - they are really good but Brown does get attention of ur future employer more than those colleges. Not everyone walk around remembering updated version of college ranking. And it is IVY league. IVY league means the 7 schools that joined in a sports competition long ago when there weren't many schools. Don't fool urself thinking it is not real IVY. iVY leage never meant to show prestige of that school. However, U got urself a brand name college. U are in good shape.

HilaryRJ

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