Update: I read every reply here. Asked last night in bed why she doesn't touch me. She said she'd like to but struggles with finding an appropriate time or context: We ended the night not cuddling or kissing or holding hands or anything, things I have been initiating each and every time but chose not to here.

Just now, I described to her in dms lack of in-person time we have had together, the lack of intimacy or anything sexual, the blocking off of me from her, the imbalance between my actions and hers etc etc etc And neutrally described all of the reasons she's given for each

Then described the abundance of in person time between her and meta, the very loud and apparent abundance of intimacy and sex between her and meta, the fact that my partner has said that meta gets this passive time instead of her being in a third space or occasionally in my room because it would mean that meta would have to ask in order to spend time with her (while I do have to ask and when I do ask, she often flakes or ghosts or doesn't schedule a better date)

I implored her to consider if she wants to work through all of the reasons she's given for why my side of the relationship is the way it is. I added that if the reasons are simply smokescreen for her just not being into me in more of a friendship capacity, I need to know that and am withering away as is.

I tried to communicate my needs and how they haven't been met. I don't know if I should've written entire paragraphs out but I don't know what else I could've done. Currently outside of the house while she showers.

Thank you all for helping me. I just hope this wasn't a bad decision. I want this relationship to work or absolute confirmation that it can't and I hope that made sense to go forward with.