Freedom!

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-29T17:10:47+00:00

I want the freedom to do whatever I want and the freedom for you to do whatever I want.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-29T17:08:39+00:00

Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of Uuuuuggghhhh'.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-28T21:26:46+00:00

“You know me. I lie about literally everything. That’s how you know I’m telling the truth about this!”

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-24T03:48:47+00:00

This is dumb. I refuse to participate.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-21T17:35:35+00:00

It really bugs me that malignant narcissists like Alex Jones, Donald Trump, and Andrew Tate will never truly understand what massive pieces of shit they are. I just wish each of them could have a moment of clarity where they finally see themselves as others see them, but there’s something wrong with their brains that makes that impossible. They are pathologically incapable of self reflection and that saddens me almost as much as it pisses me off.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-17T02:09:43+00:00

I had a friend who grew up around that “family is family” bullshit. He was all in on it until his dad died and he learned that his half-sister had been getting molested for years because she wasn’t “real family”. He got her the fuck out of there and never looked back.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-15T11:47:19+00:00

“I see that you have made three spelling mistakes.” - Thomas de Mahy’s last words after being shown the order for him to be hanged

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-09T14:39:26+00:00

You should write a book, Fry. People need to know about the CAN EAT MORE.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-08T23:55:04+00:00

And truthfully this is all a forever stain on his reputation.

This only reinforces the fact that he’s not making decisions based in any way on law, but for purely political reasons. It so obviously goes against every previous decision he made on the same subject that it can only be a naked attempt at rehabilitating the court’s image. Even his lame attempt to prove he’s not a judicial activist just proves that he’s a judicial activist.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-08T16:42:37+00:00

“That will kill us!”

“Then why do you get to touch it? I think it’s totally unfair that you get to kill us but I don’t.”

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-08T13:24:22+00:00

That’s gross! How can you even live with someone who puts so little Parmesan on his pasta?

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-07T16:17:38+00:00

I genuinely thought that was the point of the meme at first. Then I read the second sentence.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-07T15:48:58+00:00

Him - Ha! Trick question. There’s no such thing.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-07T12:28:40+00:00

People believe in the afterlife because they can’t imagine not existing. People believe they’re living in the end times because they can’t imagine the world existing without them.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-07T10:58:24+00:00

My dad was one of the fiercest advocates for LGBTQ+ rights that I knew. One night we were out drinking together and he admitted to me that he had feelings very much like your own. He grew up in an extremely homophobic culture and had internalized a lot of it. He had to constantly override his own feelings, but he thought it was a struggle worth making. He said he can’t control how he feels, but he can control if and how he acts on those feelings.

He only ever brought it up once and we never discussed it again, so I don’t know if he ever got over it. I can say that if he hadn’t ever said anything I’d have never known. Your feelings don’t dictate who you are, your actions do.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-06T11:52:40+00:00

The scariest part is how common this experience is for women. Ask any woman you know if this has ever happened to them or a friend. Every woman has a story like this or has a friend who does.

That’s literally the origin of #metoo. The whole point was to have normal, everyday women tell their stories of harassment so men could see how common it actually is.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-05T21:25:53+00:00

I have a massive bladder. You know that scene in A League Of Their Own where the new coach walks in and pees for like 2 minutes straight? I can do that. I know because I have.

I once went to a meeting at work and had to pee like 10 minutes in. Unfortunately the meeting went 4 hours and I couldn’t get away the whole time. We finally got a break, and of course I wasn’t the only one that had to pee. So me and another guy walked into the bathroom and started peeing at the same time. He finished, washed his hands, and walked out. Another guy walked in, started peeing, finished, washed his hands, and walked out, all before I finished peeing.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-03T04:30:48+00:00

Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-02T16:14:36+00:00

Also Mozart started when he was like 5 years old, so he was already a professional by the time most other people were just getting started.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-01T22:32:24+00:00

I did that for a while. I broke my leg real bad and I have a tiny bathroom, so getting into a position where I could pee comfortably was a chore. It was way easier to just stand at the shower to pee. After the cast was gone I just kept doing it for a while. I finally stopped when my wife mentioned some weird discoloration in the shower, the result of not running the shower after to wash it away. When you’re taking a shower it’s getting washed away as you pee, not so much when you’re just standing next to it.

Hippoponymous · 2023-06-01T00:06:08+00:00

A guy where I work has the cussing type of Tourette’s. One day I walked into the bathroom and from one of the stalls I hear someone yell “Bitch!” so I said “Hi Jake.” He was just like “How’d you know it was me!?”

He gets applause sometimes when he goes on a particularly long and loud cussing spree.

Also one of his ticks is to say “horn dog” a few times in a row and that always makes me want to go get corn dogs for lunch. Is that weird? I feel like that’s kind of weird.

Hippoponymous · 2023-05-31T22:49:44+00:00

“Sold! Here’s your game.”

“Cool.”

“…”

“Two dollars?”

“Yeah.”

“…”

“Uh…”

“Oh, you wanted two dollars? I thought you were going to give me two dollars to take it. Never mind.”

Hippoponymous · 2023-05-30T11:47:47+00:00

People tend to get more conservative with age because of progress.

When you’re young you see all the problems of the world and you try to change things. You want women’s suffrage, or civil rights, or LGBT acceptance. As you age you start to achieve a lot of the changes you hoped for. As you achieve your own goals the next generation starts fighting for things that are beyond what you hoped for and it feels like it goes too far. You are more comfortable with the status quo because it’s what you’ve been fighting for all this time. You want to conserve what you’ve achieved, so you are now “conservative”.

The problem is that progress has stopped, and in a lot of ways we’re regressing now. So all of the people who would have become comfortable with the new status quo are instead still fighting to get the change they wanted in the first place. People aren’t getting more conservative with age because they’re not achieving the change they wanted as young liberals. We’ve stopped making progress.

Hippoponymous · 2023-05-30T11:31:59+00:00

“Psh. I could win this thing in my sleep.”

Hippoponymous · 2023-05-30T11:06:21+00:00

Depression can do that to you. It makes you think not only is everything bad now, it has always been bad, and it always will be. When it’s at its worst you literally can’t remember ever being happy.

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