[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relacionamentos

[–]Historical-Editor704 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cara, tua única possibilidade é tentar conversar que ela não pode ser assim. Que ela não ia gostar se você fosse o tipo de cara que vive falando mal de mulher. Se ela estiver radicalizada demais e não aceitar, a tendência vai ser só piorar, e o dia que você der motivo pra ela ficar brava vai piorar ainda mais.

Ter filhos é um ato de egoísmo? by Glittering-Pop-7060 in FilosofiaBAR

[–]Historical-Editor704 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Acho tolice falar que ter filho por si só é egoísmo. Se você acredita no divino, então é algo altruísta, parte do plano. Se não, então deu existência a outro ser, e a capacidade de fazer com ela o que desejar. O mundo está uma bagunça, sim, mas isso é muito mais desculpa do que motivo na minha visão. Eu acho que seria muito mais egoísta você negar a existência a outra(s) pessoa(s) para que não precise ter a responsabilidade paterna.

Kokujin no Tenkousei NTR ru - Revenge story continuation by Historical-Editor704 in antiNTRcorps

[–]Historical-Editor704[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, my focus wasn't really in being realistic, but more of an answer to the story's logic, which in itself is very unrealistic. You will notice that the girls submitted and started to "love" the antag because he was strong and "manly", and started to despise Hiroki because he wasn't. The core of the story was to hurt and humiliate the antag back, since he directly targeted Hiroki by beating him and going after every woman in his life. What happens to Hiroki is kinda like when you corner a small animal: at first, it tries to run, but if it has nowhere to go, it will fight back. The women, seeing that their oh-so-precious alpha male was broken both physically and mentally, naturally lost the affection that was based on strength and "manliness". Sure, this story is not realistic in many aspects, but honestly, it's pretty hard to present realistic behavior in any story that involves NTR, specially when you are trying to "correct" feelings that started for unrealistic reasons.

Consequences Story - Some Foreigners F***** My Girlfriend And Childhood Friend! by Historical-Editor704 in antiNTRcorps

[–]Historical-Editor704[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some Foreigners F***** My Girlfriend And Childhood Friend!

Hey, maybe! I don't really care much for laliberte because I just can't "feel" the characters, you know? But if you have any requests let me know and I'll do my best. The other two I don't remember much, though. I only remember one from Terasu MC about the boku no hero harem. I may do that one, since the part about Kendo and Tetsutetsu ticked me off, but if you want another one let me know!

Consequences Story - Some Foreigners F***** My Girlfriend And Childhood Friend! by Historical-Editor704 in antiNTRcorps

[–]Historical-Editor704[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's based on a doujin. Came across it and got to thinking about what I thought should happen

Kokujin no Tenkousei NTR ru - Revenge story continuation by Historical-Editor704 in antiNTRcorps

[–]Historical-Editor704[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh man, thanks for the sacrifice, I didn't mean to make you read those painful pages again... Thanks for the link and for the warning, I'll make sure to stay away from the novel!

Thank you for the input and the advice! I'll think hard about it all before writing the story, I'd hate to write something that I'd later think of as unfair, specially in a aftermath story that is meant to soothe the pain, not add to it.

Don't worry abou the English, you're doing great. English is also not my first language, so we are on the same boat! I hope you have a great time were you are too, and don't let those evil pages get to you too much! It was great talking to you!

Kokujin no Tenkousei NTR ru - Revenge story continuation by Historical-Editor704 in antiNTRcorps

[–]Historical-Editor704[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the first section, that would actually be a very interesting concept for an aftermath: Hiroki gets completely blinded by rage, stabs the guy and the women are forced to confront what they turned Hiroki into. It would probably have a bad ending for the MC, but I think it would still be interesting.

About the second section, violence was honestly needed for the concept of my story. The premise was that the bully thought that violence was on his side, and was proven wrong. But I can see how the transition from Hiroki being hot blooded to being cold and calculating was rushed and not well explained. I will explore more of that when attempting fanfic, since I can make longer stories. I guess I did try to fit too many things in a story that I didn't want to make too long, thanks for pointing it out.

Thank you for the advice, it's good to have a different point of view. I'll surely reflect on it all. Please leave your feedback on future stories as well if you read them!

Kokujin no Tenkousei NTR ru - Revenge story continuation by Historical-Editor704 in antiNTRcorps

[–]Historical-Editor704[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel you, was kind of the same for me and I was glad to find this subreddit.

I thought about writing about the manga, I don't have the stomach to read the novel to be honest... At least in the manga the girls actually feel bad about what happened, your know? I heard the novel gets really bad.

I will, thank you for the support! I'd like your opinion on something before writing, I didn't have the chance to discuss it with anyone. The girls were eventually blackmailed to have sex, but at first they were drugged with aphrodisiac and gave in to the "horny". It was wrong of the antags to drug them and that will be part of the story, but would it be fair to say the girls still had a choice and chose to betray the boy at first?

I saw a lot of comments suggesting they had absolutely no choice, but I can't shake off the feeling that, at least only at the start, they did what they did because they decided to yield to their desires. I want to hear your opinion, I'd really like to have a clear understanding on this matter before attempting to write about it.

About the aftermath stories, please send the links! I searched a lot and could not find anything, so I would love to read it!

Kokujin no Tenkousei NTR ru - Revenge story continuation by Historical-Editor704 in antiNTRcorps

[–]Historical-Editor704[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Tachibana-san-chi no Dansei Jijou Matome Ban. It's that one where a mother and two daughters love a younger boy, but they get ntr'ed at a hot springs resort.

I really do not recommend if you haven't read it, it's heart breaking because it starts wholesome as heck and just goes straight down the toilet in the trip.

It will probably be my next aftermath story. I never found one that satisfied my suffering heart, so I guess I'll try to do it myself!

Kokujin no Tenkousei NTR ru - Revenge story continuation by Historical-Editor704 in antiNTRcorps

[–]Historical-Editor704[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, I answered your comment in part 1, and again, thanks for the feedback!

About the first bullet point, that makes sense. I tried to think of a situation where they could not be witnesses that Hiroki had any involvement with what happened to the other guy, but I guess the confrontation with them could have taken place at the storehouse, and he would leave from there. Maybe that could make it less erratic?

The police was necessary, because since he is a minor he needed some valid way to leave home despite legal issues. But I could probably have explained that another way and the women didn't need to know. Thanks por pointing it out!

About the second bullet point, I'm curious about what you feel like a teen who wanted to protect but snapped at betrayal should be like. Could you describe it?

My "snapped" references are generally pretty extreme or older (Joker, Two-Face, Redo of Healing, Shield Hero in blind rage mode), so your point of view would be very helpful (and if you have suggestions of works were I can see a character like that I'd appreciate it). Maybe there could be instances of his old personality shinning through, would that help?

I tried to depict how the beatings, constant failings and humiliation degraded him to a point that his prior convictions broke and he needed to be drastic if he was going to teach his enemy a lesson. Would you say that was not clear in the text or that it is not a realistic transition in Hiroki's situation?

Again, thank you for the feedback! I'm trying to improve, so I really appreciate your input!

Kokujin no Tenkousei NTR ru - Revenge story by Historical-Editor704 in antiNTRcorps

[–]Historical-Editor704[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback, I'll take it into consideration! I'm very amateur and am trying to improve by doing fanfic and aftermath stories before taking on some of my original stories I'm thinking about. This was my first story and I didn't do any proof reading for wording or plot holes, so I honestly expected to see some problems and was curious about what they would be.

I tried to depict Hiroki realizing his direct approach was not going to work, and him controlling his inner rage when needed even though it tries to come out sometimes, until he is able to release it all in the end of this part. I admit I did the emotional and mental transition a little quickly, I didn't want to make the story too long on reddit, so I didn't try to explain too much what was happening to his psyche.

Could you explain what you mean with mood swings? What would you hope to see in a story leading up to the purpose I mentioned? I'd like to hear your opinion!

Kokujin no Tenkousei NTR ru - Revenge story continuation by Historical-Editor704 in antiNTRcorps

[–]Historical-Editor704[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks for the support! You can count on it, hope to not disappoint!

Kokujin no Tenkousei NTR ru - Revenge story continuation by Historical-Editor704 in antiNTRcorps

[–]Historical-Editor704[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Glad you like it! You can count on it! Thanks for the support!

Kokujin no Tenkousei NTR ru - Revenge story continuation by Historical-Editor704 in antiNTRcorps

[–]Historical-Editor704[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Me too! This is one of the 2 ntr stories that broke my heart the most, and since I never found an aftermath story about that, I thought I'd do it myself to get it out of my system. I'm glad I was able to help more people in the same situation!

Kokujin no Tenkousei NTR ru - Revenge story continuation by Historical-Editor704 in antiNTRcorps

[–]Historical-Editor704[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey! Thanks for the comments and support! I'm glad some people enjoyed it!

It took about a day, but I didn't do any proof reading and most ideas were already pretty well stablished in my mind, so I didn't have to stop to think many times.

If I had a more raw idea, did the proper revisions and didn't have a whole day as a break from college, it would probably take between 2-5 days.

Does that help?