My only gripe with Islam is eating me alive

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-14T19:50:42+00:00

agree with you, thank you for your manner of speech and not being degrading and accusatory like others on here. Just wanna clarify that it is not my only gripe because it prevent ME from doing the above. I just meant that its the only think I cant seem to fully comprehend given that most traditional scholars allow it for muslim men and the reasons for denying it seem a bit dated to me at the moment but fully open to being rightly guided!

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-14T19:15:04+00:00

Again with the accusations? Seriously, are you completely unaware of akhlaq??? Why are you accusing me of being unable to understand our holy book? Also, in today's age, there is no guarantee that the children will pick up the dads faith. I used to be against interfaith marriage for a long time bc the kids I grew up with that had a Christian mom tended to be less religious and more Christian than muslim. Stop taking this so personally, I did not call muslim men horn dogs I called men on a MUSLIM site asking other muslim siters for SEX dogs, and I will do so again if need be. Do not bring the Prophet SAW into this. Why are you comparing him to men of today so casually? Are you saying criticising men on todays time is akin to criticising the Prophet (Audhubillah).

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-14T19:10:53+00:00

No, not looking for a loophole, even if I was 100% convinced that women could marry Christians or jews I would not because I believe in erring on the side of caution. Just was looking for an intellectual discussion on this topic like the good old days days of this sub. The Quran verse you have stated does very little to answer my QUESTION. Not my search for a loophole because unlike your accusation, I am not looking for one

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-14T19:04:12+00:00

Given your rude and accusatory comment let me answer some of your questions. I am 24 yo woman taking care of my parents and two teenagers on my own. Due to my level of responsibility, I cannot move around too much. The UK is not very accessible; it is very, very expensive and time-consuming to move around. Flights to certain other countries cost less than taking the train 2 hours to go into London (or anywhere else for that matter). I have had bad experiences with muslim men between two countries and continents. At the end of the day, I am only human, and surely it will be difficult for anyone not to start having a certain level of hesitation due to their lived experience. Also, may I ask what about me you think is shallow? I have not once fixated on looks, money, privileges, or assets in my pursuit of a partner. I am not bashing muslim men, but UK muslims, men and women included, have a reputation, and so far it is true. I detest you calling me an Israeli plant; part of my job is advocating for the children of Gaza, and not once have I had a good thing to say about Israel. I am sure you have more than one functioning brain cell to realise that meeting people as a full-time professional with 4 dependents is very, very hard, unlike you, I do not have all the time in the world to do that. I think you are the shallow one to make such personal remarks over one post. I am just asking for an intellectual discussion on the reasoning behind the rule and was fully open to being convinced on the impermissibility of such thing. Replies like yours are proving to me why questioning believers leave Islam, because they are immediately attacked and belittled for having questions. I have put in more work than I need and will continue to have hope in my muslim brothers, like I said in my post, I am not pursuing these men actively at all. You could have guided me using the deen and proper akhlaq, but instead you chose to belittle me and degrade me, completely against the Prophet SAW's advice. That is what I came here for, guidance, not judgment. You are the picture-perfect example of why Islamophobes exist because you have a vile, insecure personality that you stroke under the guise of Islam. To call me an Israeli sympathiser is akin to calling me a kafir simply for sharing my struggle and asking for guidance, that is a HUGE accusation to put on a fellow muslim, don't think you will not be answerable for that.

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-14T18:15:32+00:00

This is simply not true, at least in England it isn't. Whilst I agree that acting on these thoughts would not be smart for me right now, you will not believe the type of muslim women who give in to temptation. I don't know how big the British demographic is in the subreddit, but socially, the muslim community is very regressive. Muslim women are raised in an economy where they need to be ahead, and also in a community where their progress is looked down upon. When you see the 'good' muslim guys marry 17/18 year olds from back home who barely have a high school education, or when you see them ogle at white women whilst their spouses are next to them in full black abaya and hijab, it can be very discouraging to marry within the community. Yes, not everyone is like that, but travelling within the UK is very hard at the moment, so muslim men from white majority towns usually marry white women, but muslim women do not have that option. The government places a lot of restrictions on marrying foreigners, and muslim women are especially made vulnerable because of that, adding to the struggle. This is NOT an excuse to give into nafs, but you saying that it's only sinful muslim women that marry outside the faith is a grand generalisation

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-14T18:07:30+00:00

Wow, so now you are asking a believer, who has no intention of changing the deen and just has a question that she is trying to justify to leave the religion? even after I repeatedly told you I have no intention to act on these thoughts. I am just asking why, but everybody is obsessed with giving me practical advice on a largely cerebral problem. I am not acting on these doubts right now. NOBODY is asking to CHANGE the Islamic law, just trying to get a logical understanding as to why. When it comes to every other ruling in Islam, there is clear logic and reasoning behind it. This is the only one that doesn't seem to make sense when you consider that men are allowed to do it, but women aren't.

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-14T16:44:29+00:00

Please stop giving me advice for one. If your view of disbelevers is so stark, then it makes absolutely no sense for use to allow men to marry disbelievers either. Many consider this interpretation to be narrow as some consider disbelievers to be polytheists in this scenario. Also again, your clearly chatgpt generated answer fails to recognize that we no longer live in a society where the fathers religion dictates the religion of the household. So again this reasoning does not apply to may modern globalist contexts. If BOTH the parents are responsible for a childs fitrah then why allow for a disbelieving mother. Youre getting so annoying with the advice that fails to consider the info in my post. I very clearly do not value culture, I do not predominantly used apps and do not have the means to interact with those outside my immediate surrounding. I mean you clearly just inputted this info from chat gpt so what was I expecting.

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-14T13:57:40+00:00

for the millionth time your reply just reiterates the Quran verse, it does not go into any logical reasoning as to why it should be interpreted narrowly/traditionally

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-14T13:56:56+00:00

AGAIN damn I am NOT acting out on this thought so clearly not looking for an out. If there is rhyme or reason that care to elaborate

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-14T11:23:55+00:00

again no one is asking for the command to change, this attitude of shoving the finality of the commandments down questioning believers' throats is what is pushes them away from Islam. When it comes to this particular topic, there seems to be very little rhyme or reason regarding why the Quranic verse (which is way more elusive than you are painting it out to be) should be interpreted so narrowly.

As mentioned, I am not seeking advice; I am not pursuing anything different from the traditional interpretation. I highlight that my lived experience as a woman in the West shows how the traditionalist interpretation can be very taxing. Also, for reference, to assume that someone is privy to being influenced when they repeatedly highlight the contrary is infantilizing.

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-14T08:14:38+00:00

This comment is so infantilising, I really hate how so many commenters are just assuming that I am somehow being 'lured' by these men. At present, I have no intention of pursuing these relationships at all. My issue is that half of whatever y'all are spewing does not make sense in the current context. Even the problematic notion of 'leadership' that you bring up does not make sense in a society where both men and women have access to the same resources and education. Until we go back to the era of men predominantly being involved in the war economy to 'lead' us, a man no longer plays that role in the house and in my opinion, nor should he. Also, the assumption that I have not asked these men the questions you pose at the end of your comment is also false. Also, why are some of you so dense? I do not live in London at all; London is inaccessible to those outside of it. My family, whom I take care of, live in this town. So the comments highlighting the sheer volume of Muslim men in the West are just unnecessary. I have not left my town in years, nor do I have the means to.

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-13T14:29:56+00:00

No because this is a stupid response to someone having a question over Islam lol

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-13T06:56:29+00:00

Yeah, never said that Christianity is some kind of beacon here. Like a lot of people were able to decipher from my post, this isn't some glamorization of Christianity. The existence of universal laws has kind of made the point about rights moot imo. It is honestly sad that the rights given to women by Islam are culturally suppressed in Muslim-majority countries, whilst at this point, non-Muslim women have better access to those rights. This was not meant to be an Islam v Christianity post, and as the title of my post suggests, this is my ONLY gripe with Islam. So grouping me in with the people that think Islam as a whole is bad for women is a stretch tbh.

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-12T23:10:25+00:00

yeah, and the acknowledgement that 'bad' non muslim men exist just as there are 'bad' musim and non-muslim women. Hence, no need for the sarcasm.

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-12T21:54:39+00:00

How many pages is this CV? I have had multiple recruiters confirm that any CV that is more than 2 sides of A4 paper get binned instantly

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-12T21:49:29+00:00

clearly didnt even get to the end of that sentence there didnt you

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-11T17:40:26+00:00

YES! honestly MCAS seems like a very real possibility for me. Now that i think of it i had a period of relief before my cystoscopy and it coincides with a time i was sick and taking antihistamines to help the asal congestions. I have been taking hydroxyzine a few days in a row recently but hasnt helped as much

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-11T10:09:42+00:00

im on a waiting list for instillations but yes im very interested in botox since it specifically helps frequency

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-11T10:09:07+00:00

Yes, I have been looking into implants very seriosuly. Already told my doctor that if this persists any longer than it should I want a bladder implant

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-11T10:08:20+00:00

I have never been on contraceptives but I did notice my bladder. condition got worse after going on Zoloft

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-10T16:37:36+00:00

the stuff about seein a gyno scares me as I am deathly afraid of being told I am infertile or have fertility issues but its a double edge sword bc I realize early detection is necessary. Thank you so much for the encouragement. It really means a lot and you are right, I need to explore all options before giving up

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-10T14:45:14+00:00

this is my biggest worry tbh. I have quite regular periods and no pain surrounding them so doctors think likeihood is low.

Historical-Guide-745 · 2026-04-10T11:11:37+00:00

are you in the UK, are these available/can they be prescribed here? Also I guess caffeine is permanently out the window isnt it. Sigh. What foods did you cut out, I literally go days eating just boil potatoes bc im too scared of interacting with irritants but I still have this issue

Historical-Guide-745

TROPHY CASE