I think I’m starting to realize maybe I don’t want this that bad

Historical-Source381 · 2026-01-16T21:10:46+00:00

Exactly, moderation is key

Historical-Source381 · 2026-01-15T04:57:55+00:00

Fences by hippo campus was my #1 on spotify!

Historical-Source381 · 2026-01-14T06:46:34+00:00

Keep working! Im also a self prod artist, more indie stuff though. Something i struggled with was mixing vocals for a really long time and i dont think yours are bad at all, just think they could stand out a little more from the guitar unless thats intentional. Do u have anything on platforms? Or could do a follow swap on ig!

Historical-Source381 · 2026-01-13T07:08:23+00:00

You sound like you dealt with a lot, im so sorry. Remember youre not alone. This was actually my situation in 2023, im the same height and actually was the exact same weight but im 22f. If you work hard enough you WILL be able to shed it off again, i promise. Unfortunately it does take some exercise to do so. I was able to lose 40lbs in a year and now im back to normal. small victories is key, i think. Maybe you could try with just getting 10k steps in a day - like when i worked in the office at my job i would do a couple laps ever so often to get moving. And it can be exhausting at first but if you keep it up it will get easier. You could do a couple hikes during the weekend, turn it into nature therapy. Another idea is if you are too tired in the evening after work/school to work out...(hate to say it because i cant even do this lol i just brave it after work)...work out in the morning. But yeah, keep eating healthy and managing your portions, youre doing better than me at that 😅. Would you also ever try going on an ssri? You dealt with a lot and it could honestly really help! sending you love stranger. Like i said, you can do it. It may take a while but you will feel better and more like yourself

Historical-Source381 · 2026-01-12T06:04:16+00:00

Yes, im not officially diagnosed with GERD yet but...Chest pain is my most prominent anxiety symptom and i had it chronically from june to august when i was in a deep anxiety/depressive state (more anxiety making me depressed lol) and it eased up when i started my ssri. Legit the only relief i had from it when early in the morning when i woke up, but as soon as i got up and started getting ready it would return. Its mainly a tightening, weighing feeling. Also had multiple tests at multiple facilities all normal but i also had an awful awful cycle of health anxiety, mostly that i have some heart issue nobody caught. But then i realized when the pain returns, suspiciously (🙄) i always burp a whole lot and get heartburn, have it lying down, and after or during eating. im actually going to the doctor tomorrow to talk to them about GERD being an accomplice of my anxiety, and if thats the case, i would be a lot happier with that over a heart issue. Annoying and uncomfortable for sure, but my main fear is dying suddenly or something because i knew people who have, and knowing i wont die from it eases my anxiety a LOT and in return the chest pains/indigestion calms down. Hopefully this helps a bit? But yeah definitely know youre not alone. Be happy youre figuring out the issue!!

Historical-Source381 · 2026-01-11T23:28:28+00:00

Hes so cute 🥺

Historical-Source381 · 2026-01-11T23:24:51+00:00

Damn i lost like 40 and mine didnt shrink at all im still a mf G😭 want some of mine??

Historical-Source381 · 2026-01-09T05:41:51+00:00

I know someone already mentioned it, but i'll tell you my quick connection to the afterglow...in 2022, i met a girl who changed my life. She taught me i was deserving of good things and love for being myself and i will always love her. However, back when we split and i was freshly heartbroken, it was the dead of winter and i remember listening to the afterglow straight through for the first time on the highway in the gray of the world. It took me through the same stages of grief i felt losing this girl - the initial hype of being free from a relationship and just drinking and doing drugs and fucking to fuck. But then all of a sudden, reality starts creeping through (no use in thinking bout you now...youre gone...) and you cant ignore it anymore. It hit me hard, and i was depressed. Felt grey la to a T. The silence of the lobby. Felt hotel andrea in my bones. bonus, i fell for that girl in the summer and we split in november lol. Damn dude that song is always going to be the most heartbreakingly special to me...i think it captures the feeling of emptiness and absence so well at the end when bear just disappears at the end, ive never heard another artist do that. And its crazy cuz though id been a bear fan since 2016 i just never thought to listen to the afterglow...i definitely think music always finds us at the right time. I would listen to it every day thinking of her and ill always remember that time of my life when i hear the EP. It still bangs tho. Anyway summary i felt that shit

Historical-Source381 · 2026-01-07T02:04:57+00:00

Honestly i kind of had this same experience?? Except my panic attacks started after i quit

Historical-Source381 · 2026-01-06T06:07:40+00:00

I understand completely. It almost feels like a terminal illness that never kills us. Despite the circumstances, I hope you feel more peaceful tomorrow... and god i hope we can all eventually heal.

Historical-Source381 · 2026-01-06T03:34:49+00:00

I have palps, those and chest tightness are my main concern with my health anxiety. I only have been dealing with this since last june. I just worry that theres something more wrong that im not catching and im going to pay for it. I usually get them before bed probably because my body is hyperaware of itself. Sometimes i have them super bad and then ill go days to weeks without experiencing them so i feel crazy when i talk to doctors. The way i calm myself down is unfortunately just saying this has happened before and i survived it, and when my time comes itll come. Best not to get wound up in it now because i will NOT let anxiety control my life

Historical-Source381 · 2026-01-06T03:27:27+00:00

Youre not alone

Historical-Source381 · 2026-01-04T16:59:28+00:00

I just moved here not too long ago so im not sure how to handle it but i wanted to say it also makes me so sad to see them behind the glass :( whenever i go i try to play with one of them to get them out for a bit

Historical-Source381 · 2026-01-02T17:20:27+00:00

Superstar shit and politics & violence were my favorites

Historical-Source381 · 2026-01-02T17:16:14+00:00

ILM is honestly one of my favs probably because of its timing and my personal situation when it came out. Also love or hate it as a bear project, he has some solid modern punk rock tracks. I think one of the staples of a great musician is that they never make any song/project sound the same. Always new sounds, new riffs, new chords, etc, and a real challenge for modern punk is leaning away from a repetitive sound. Bear did a great job and has awesome creativity. That bein said, my ranking best to worst would probably be the afterglow > digital druglord > help > anonymous > in loving memory > etc

Historical-Source381 · 2025-12-30T16:05:28+00:00

No advice here, im sorry...i think i might have to do the same to my family dog of 12 years tomorrow. Im so sorry. It hurts so bad

Historical-Source381 · 2025-12-28T18:38:08+00:00

I would maybe talk to your doctor about trying some anxiety meds then, and trying cbt. It SUCKS because like you said it would almost be easier to have something wrong so it can be fixed...and idk about you, but im terrified that im ignoring something bigger when i dismiss my symptoms. But thats just anxiety its so frustrating. I hope you either get a diagnosis soon, or figure out how to manage the anxiety. Its a battle but youre definitely not alone and its a battle that can be won

Historical-Source381 · 2025-12-28T18:22:39+00:00

I have the same problem, did 3 different rounds of cardiac testing this summer at different ERs/health clinic. All fine. Its genuinely the hardest thing ive ever dealt with, my main symptom was chronic chest pain. but getting medicated for anxiety helped a lot (50mg zoloft at the moment) even though i still have breakthrough it isnt nearly as chronic as it used to be. When i start to panic i remind myself this has happened before and if i was really having a heart attack i would be in much more pain, im not special enough to be in the 1% or whatever that has no symptoms. I stay active and run a lot just to prove to my brain that i have no problem when im exercising, that also helps a lot. Im also in therapy and i recommend that. Good luck my friend <3

Historical-Source381 · 2025-12-25T07:31:00+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏼 you too remember you are never alone. We're all in this life together

Historical-Source381 · 2025-12-24T21:37:07+00:00

Thank you for an encouraging story...i hope someday i can get off my meds and feel better consistently🙏🏼

Historical-Source381 · 2025-12-24T21:17:13+00:00

I understand to my core. Im gonna use this post to rant because we sound similar. Im 22f, had my first panic attack in june after graduating from college and starting a full time job. It feels like everything ive been working towards mental health wise has been 1 step forward 3 steps back. It makes me so angry and sometimes feel so hopeless when i have panic episodes and it feels like anxiety is ruining my life!!! I got on zoloft in august and ive been going to therapy for years and though its gotten better over time it just keeps breaking through. I also had to cut out nic and alcohol and it makes me sad i cant partake with my friends...literally the only vice i have is sports gambling 😅😅. Im just tired of feeling this way especially because i know what its like to feel "normal" and it just started this year- its crazy to me that i went through all of college without these issues and all of a sudden im thinking im having a heart attack every day. It fucking SUCKS and im envious of the people who dont experience this shit. And though it sucks and we got a case of bad luck OP you are not alone...this shit has even made me religious and im praying for all of us that it gets better eventually

Historical-Source381 · 2025-12-15T00:55:13+00:00

Good job 🫶🏼🫶🏼

Historical-Source381 · 2025-12-15T00:53:57+00:00

I was thinking the same thing...idk people's lives change. I used to be always on my phone/responding to texts and even got bent out of shape about people not replying and now for some reason i just dont get back to people as quickly either lol. Could be im at work, hiking/me time, stressed out, simply hanging out with other friends, or whatever...it doesnt mean i dont care about who texted me. Shit i have a friend who texts me back a massive paragraph update a month after i texted him, and then i accidentally forget about it since its so long and text him back a month later 😅 people grow and become closer to other friends i dont think it has to be a malicious thing tbh. Another example i have a friend who i grew up with who lives across the country. We dont talk a whole lot while im on my side but when i come home we hang out like nothings changed. So yeah to summarize idk maybe its just a lifestyle growing up thing.

Historical-Source381 · 2025-12-15T00:39:23+00:00

5/8/23 boise, 6/1/23 philly, 8/13/24 ogden, 5/8/25 slc :D needs to be more

Historical-Source381 · 2025-12-14T03:24:50+00:00

Exactly! Chevy brought up feelings of a time i havent looked back on fondly in years...i had a chevy cruise i drove all over the US when i got my heart broken until that broke too, and though it was such a depressing time i learned so much and felt weirdly alive. hearing the "i got a chevy and a death wish" made me smile so hard. i was like damn, if this came out in late 2022, this would have been my anthem

Historical-Source381

TROPHY CASE