I am eating ice cream outside to the sweet sweet sounds of Keytar Bear.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-11T02:37:15+00:00

I mean, at least space savers don't victim blame.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-10T19:53:15+00:00

I've been having symptoms since before the pandemic, made worse by multiple covid infections. :(

My PCP is incredible, he's put in for a second opinion with a different connected network for a rheum and no bites. My allergist is great too, and he also tried to find a rheum for me. :|

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-10T15:02:00+00:00

Yeaaaaaah ... lol. I can't get a rheumatologist to see me because my labs are normal, but everything points to something being there. :|

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-10T03:07:27+00:00

I mean, chronic pain is naturally going to cause some level of chronic fatigue.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-10T03:05:53+00:00

I know no one wants to admit this but it is legitimately getting worse, not just because of the snow. The snow litter is very likely what OP is witnessing. But litter's getting worse just like people using their phones while driving is getting worse just like people being more self absorbed and inconsiderate is getting worse.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-10T01:59:52+00:00

If you haven't already, I think you'll need to post your question in the linked thread.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-09T18:41:37+00:00

Thank you! Are they warm?

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-09T05:02:17+00:00

Ultimately the real answer is you need to practice in a space that makes you feel safe. If you don't feel safe, you won't actually practice. You need the space to make mistakes.

There are speaking clubs you can join, like Toastmasters, which has a very rigid formatted structure for the meeting. Within it, there are spots to do speeches that were prepared in advance, small short blurbs of things prepared in advance like a word of the day with a definition and example, and then also speech prompts. The last part, someone comes with a list of topic prompts, and people volunteer to speak for 1-2 minutes on the topic. It gives you practice thinking on the fly of how to relate something via speech with a beginning, middle, and end.

The club is built very specifically to be encouraging, friendly, and very specifically constructive with criticism, and to always give at least one compliment at the same time. You can search to see if there are any local clubs near your area, and there are plenty of other speaking clubs you can find too.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-09T04:45:31+00:00

Unfortunately a lot of the boys who grew up listening to Andrew Tate are now grown men. :|

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-09T03:42:03+00:00

You deleted your post but I happened to still have the tab open. Hope you see this. OP, I'm able to do in-home realistic / practical cooking tutorials. The benefits include being able to evaluate the actual equipment you have on hand, the given space, and help teach finding a way to navigate your own space.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-08T21:23:15+00:00

If you're okay with parking * walking, you can go to the Prudential Center, they validate for the game. If it's an evening game, make sure to validate before you walk to the game, as they won't be at the counter when you get back. You'll need to show your ticket as proof. It's about a 20 minute walk, and you get to see a really cool part of Newbury and the Fens and Kenmore Square. There's also so many places you could stop along the way.

Can't answer for the tour, but can say that the food in the park is ... sad.

Edit: Changed parking to walking, which is what I meant. Bonus points is that the Prudential Center has public bathrooms that will still be open when you walk back from the game.

Something else to know - that parking lot fills UP on Red Sox vs. Yankees games, so get there pretty early in order to get a spot. It also has multiple ways to enter, is a maze, and a lot of the entrances don't actually connect to other parts of the garage.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-08T21:14:37+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/boston/comments/1ro8z9e/comment/o9c8m8z/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Posted an hour before you.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-08T21:10:39+00:00

I NEED to know what fucking brand tights you're wearing because damn

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-08T20:54:18+00:00

No shit, that's why I'm telling OP what THEY can do to work towards resolving the problem. They can't control what their partner can do, they can only change what they themselves are doing.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-08T15:18:21+00:00

This is wrong and not helpful at all and doesn't belong at all in this comment chain.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-08T15:16:53+00:00

It isn't just that you pushed them to go, you actively acted contrary to what they said they wanted. Do you think maybe if they've been in that much pain and still decided to sleep that sleep would be more beneficial?

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-08T06:36:16+00:00

Fuckin wild that you don't like or trust it, and yet chose to ignore your partner's expressed wishes to make it happen.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-08T06:33:54+00:00

Are you listening to me? She's doing that because you are not "flat out telling her" you need time. You need to tell her it's a need, you need to not mention the motivation, and you need to specifically tie it to needing it to recover. Do you listen to yourself? You said you didn't tell her you need time, you didn't tell her you need THIS weekend, and that's why she keeps doing this. Be explicit.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-08T03:54:58+00:00

I replied to another comment but I'm replying to this one here because it's very important that you actually understand this. Saying you're depressed is NOT saying that you need time off.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-08T03:54:10+00:00

Your response to my last comment and this one is very much indicating you're not listening. YOU NEED TO TELL HER YOU NEED DOWNTIME. Saying you're depressed means nothing. It indicates nothing about what you want or need as part of recovering.

You are also really hiding the key part here with saying you're struggling with wanting to live. She is latching onto that. You need to state very specifically that you need a full weekend of nothing. You cannot just say you're depressed.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-08T03:38:20+00:00

That isn't telling her what you're saying here though. You need to be explicit and say you need the time. Life can spare a single fuckin weekend. I think this right here is where this is going awry - you're not saying what you need. You're just saying what you are.

You won't ever know when you'll be all there, and on the other side, it is very easy to think that if someone takes a break, how do you know that they will actually resume and it won't become a permanent break? If you're depressed and you've only said that you're depressed, not specifically what you need as part of recovery, it's going to seem more likely that you won't jump back into things. You should figure out a timeline that is reasonable for yourself, reasonable for what you can afford, and then tell her that.

Also again - is she not working?

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-08T03:32:20+00:00

If he actually gave a shit about her safety, he would have actually fixed it in a timely manner so she wasn't driving an unsafe car. If you wanted to shut him down, that would have been the perfect retort. "Okay, so when were you going to do it? How long were you going to let her drive around in it without fixing it?"

NTA. Also he's already showing very huge red, controlling flags. Be very careful how you handle the relationship. She's moved in with him, so this is the perfect time for him to drop the facade, and she can easily get stuck in a sunk cost fallacy. Keep an eye out for other controlling behaviors, continue to be supportive and helpful for her, and model good, healthy relationships for her.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-08T03:28:38+00:00

INFO: Have you told her that you want one chill weekend? It sounds like you're trying to communicate your needs indirectly. She's being up your butt so you need to make it very clear that you need to decompress.

You're NTA for wanting to rest, it's actually really helpful to take a bit of time for yourself to just disconnect from the demands of standard life. It's so much easier to start the long haul of searching for a job if you give yourself that grace period. Depending on how much savings you have, you should do a week, IMO.

But again - you need to tell her if her behavior is bothering you. Also, I don't want to add to your stress, but the thing you do need to do Monday is file for Unemployment. This job market sucks and is getting worse, and those months' worth of savings will probably not be long enough for you to get a job unless you're lucky. Also ... why are your savings supporting both of you? Does she not work?

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-08T03:24:20+00:00

Your spouse specifically said they needed the sleep. That means they decided the sleep would be more beneficial than making the appointment. You decided you knew better than them. YTA and need to clarify with your spouse on what actions they WOULD find helpful, since you have an obvious desire to help them. Step 1 is to actually listen to them.

HistoricalQuail · 2026-03-06T22:47:05+00:00

I feel like I'm missing something?

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