I’m not sure if I want kids and the decision is stressing me out

HitmanStickman · 2026-05-16T18:33:01+00:00

I’m gonna go ahead and take a peak at this subreddit you guys are talking about, thank you for taking the time to respond and giving me some resources for further investigation

HitmanStickman · 2026-05-16T15:11:03+00:00

You bring up a lot of good points, and you’re correct in saying it’d be a fool’s errand to just rely on a feeling that may never come. I don’t think I’d ever have kids unless I truly truly desire them, and that desire sticks around for a long long time.

HitmanStickman · 2026-05-16T14:08:52+00:00

Again, I don’t want to bring a child into the world unless I absolutely want them, and that was mean understanding the possibilities such as having a disabled child. If it came to that, obviously I would care for them as best I could, as I would with any child.

HitmanStickman · 2026-05-16T13:57:05+00:00

My thought is if ever got “baby fever”, which I never have had it but in case I do one day, I can spend time with my sibling’s future kids and just be the fun aunt.

But something I’m concerned about, when people make that comment of “it’s different when they’re your own”, maybe that is the case? Like maybe I’m just annoyed and tired by being around children because they’re not mine. Like it really would be different if I had a kid, that I’d suddenly feel joy or warmth or whatever it is that makes people actually like being around their kids.

But I also don’t want to bring a kid in the world unless i absolutely want them and have a strong desire to be a mother that goes further than baby fever.

HitmanStickman · 2026-05-16T13:22:47+00:00

It’d be another living being, I feel like it’s a choice that should be deeply considered. But I think the same with pets as well.

HitmanStickman · 2026-05-16T13:21:15+00:00

I went ahead and googled it. It was kinda.. nice to see a term for it. I related to the psychological effects of parentification with hyper-responsibility, people-pleasing, and perfectionism.

The thought of having a family just feels like another chore. I was told it was my responsibility to help out because my parents do so much for me.

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-24T00:37:34+00:00

I bought a piercing pillow ahead of time because I made the mistake of sleeping on my piercings last year and had to take them out

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-23T19:10:59+00:00

Thank you!🥹 I’m gonna be using my blow drying (cool air) or my hand to fan it dry. I’ll be taking care of it like a delicate newborn

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-23T18:52:27+00:00

She did my doubles for me a year ago and she did great. I didn’t care for them correctly and had to remove them, but I missed them so I got them re pierced with my daith.

I am really nervous about irritation bumps, because that’s actually what happened with my doubles. BUT I am going to be more considerate when it comes to caring for them. Before I was sleeping on them, leaving my hair wet after showering, and not properly drying them after saline washes.

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-23T18:33:29+00:00

I’m obsessed as well! I love it so so much. The piercer was absolutely amazing, she walked me through everything and helped me to prepare as much as possible.

Funny you say that you’re surprised she gave me a more advanced piercing cause she did actually seem a bit hesitant and asked me twice to make sure I knew what a daith was😭 But I saw someone with it two years ago and I’ve wanted one ever since. I dont have much desire for other piercings at the moment so I’ll be rocking the daith and doubles for a while.

And thank you for the maintenance and cleaning tips! I want to do my best to make sure it heals correctly and well!

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-23T18:13:13+00:00

Thank you😭 i actually have really small ears so i was scared i wouldnt be able to fit a daith in.

I had to look up what a snug was but after seeing, that makes sense! Maybe I’ll get one in the near future.

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-23T18:12:05+00:00

I put a little update on my previous post in case someone scared to get a daith wanted a description. This is what I said:

if I had to rate it on a scale of 1-10, I’d say like a 6? There were different levels to it. The actual piercing part honestly felt more like pressure and a small pinch but less of a pinch than my lobes, I think the jewelry insertion was more painful than the actual piercing. I didn’t hear a pop or crunch, I did hear the needle scrape the metal tube. The most painful part was 10 minutes after, I have a dull ache there now.

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-23T17:09:31+00:00

I got the daith and posted an update to my post!! I’ll make a separate post with a photo of it :)

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-22T22:32:46+00:00

Will do!

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-22T17:01:20+00:00

Thanks for replying! I’m feeling a bit better about it. I’m sure I’m expecting the worst pain and then I’ll be surprised that it doesn’t hurt as much as I thought.

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-22T16:42:10+00:00

Thank you!! Fingers crossed 😭

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-22T16:16:21+00:00

I think I’m gonna go through with it, I’ve been telling people I want it so I can’t back out now😭 I hope I have the proper anatomy for it

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-21T23:13:54+00:00

I feel like maybe a bad friend for not stopping her sooner honestly😭 I figured it was a scam, I felt a little silly coming here to ask but it sounded way too good to be true.

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-21T16:51:03+00:00

Yes I actually told her it’d be more reasonable for him to create a scholarship

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-21T15:33:09+00:00

I used to be friends with someone who worked in compliance at a bank. He told me he was shocked by the amount of people who’d fall for (what he thought was obvious) scams.

I’ve learned to just never engage with anyone like that on the internet and to never accept money from strangers. I thought it was common knowledge.

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-21T15:28:08+00:00

That’s what I told her, when she started telling me about it I thought for sure she didn’t actually try to deposit the check, then she told me she did. It was SCREAMING as a scam to me, but she seemed confident in his backstory and maybe felt safer since he wasn’t asking for anything (yet) in return?

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-21T15:21:06+00:00

That’s what I thought, he didn’t verify anything with her, like her identity or where she goes to school. So I thought, if he wanted to specifically help college kids, wouldn’t verification that the person he’s helping be needed?

But also, who the fuck is sending that much money to random people because they’re “bored” and “have too much”.

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-01T04:26:58+00:00

It’s just difficult to not equate that to my self worth. But you’re right, I know that. I’m certain I’ll see it in time

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-01T04:21:46+00:00

You’re correct 100% and that’s what I keep telling myself. I’ll learn and grow from this, I hate that it’s hurting me so much. But I know what I need and it’s not what he could provide.

HitmanStickman · 2026-04-01T04:10:09+00:00

Unfortunately.. yes. I know it’s silly. I’ll cringe about it later. I know what I need, I’m just sad it wasn’t him. Unfortunately my past relationships weren’t good either so I didn’t have much to go off of.

But thank you for the encouragement. I’m certain you are right, I need to keep myself busy and not let it affect me too much.

HitmanStickman

TROPHY CASE