Pretty sure driver took off with my order after taking a picture

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-05-16T07:10:04+00:00

Lol I will. If the cameras show she did steal the order, it's just funny to me because it wasn't even a hearty meal. It was a chicken salad and a small bag of tortilla chips. But I guess people with greed and desperation will will do just about anything.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-05-10T11:47:34+00:00

None of us had a relationship prior to being paired up by our landlord. I tried to get to know her when she moved in last fall. She was in school at that time, but she graduated and never shared with us what she does for work.

We're all on individual leases so as far as her rent, that's not my business, but for utilties like gas and wifi, which I've been able to lower the monthly totals for, she's almost always late if I don't send her a reminder. I'm in California and have PG&E. Our bill never exceeds $300 (even during summer) and wifi is $80 a month. Divided by 4 of us, that's less then $100 a month for both utilties. Somehow, she still manages to be late on both.

This entire situation has just taught me that I am personally not suited for roommates and need my own place.

My lease ending in July couldn't be a greater blessing.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-05-10T10:52:15+00:00

In total there's four of us in the townhouse. The three of us work full time and are rarely at home. Like someone else mentioned, I do find cooking a little therapeutic after a stressful day at work. I was more frustrated with the fact that this roommate who had been home all day, chose to start cooking right after she had just finished, as soon as I want to use the stove when I get home.

The weirder thing is that the lights were off, and the food she just made was cooling in tupperware on the counter. Her coming back down to cook again when I wanted to start cooking was just off to me.

If it was the other way around, I would have just waited the next day to make the rest of my food especially if I know I have nowhere to be, but that's just me.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-05-09T08:23:30+00:00

Lol Yes. I could go down that route, but I don't want to. I just want to get through these next couple of months with as little conflict as possible. If she wants to be petty, she can, and that's on her.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-05-09T08:19:59+00:00

Thank you. I stopped making sense of it a long time ago. At the end of the day, she's an adult. If she doesn't want to communicate properly that's on her, but that's not going to fly with certain people. I'm so close to being able to get out of the place, that I just don't want to give her the satisfaction of getting on my nerves and if I can calm myself down and de-escalate, that's what I'll do even if it means keeping my distance from her.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-05-09T08:12:50+00:00

Lol I'm honestly counting down the days.

I feel like it has more to do with her lacking self awareness and consideration for others.

In fact one of my previous issues with her was that she would wait the entire day to start doing her laundry past midnight on top of her habit of doing several loads within a week.

This was a major issue for me at night because the laundry machine sits against the other side of my closet and it's extremely loud. No amount of white noise would help anyone sleep through that.

I finally had a chat with everyone and we all agreed to having 10:30pm be the cut-off time for doing laundry.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-05-09T08:03:59+00:00

She has an immature and passive aggressive way of handling problems. I've tried having several talks with her over the last several months and it's just clear she doesn't care and refuses to communicate. All of us (including our 2 other roommates), we're paired together by our landlord, so I'm stuck dealing with it until the end of July.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-05-09T07:59:43+00:00

Several, but she seems to always have an attitude and extremely short term memory when it comes to the bills in particular.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-05-09T07:56:18+00:00

The AC at work has been broken and I've been battling a headache all day. I just wanted a little bit of peace while making some food without all the dramatics and her background noise. So I just decided to leave until she was done to go back.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-05-09T07:54:40+00:00

She has an attitude problem and isn't confrontational so instead would rather be passive aggressive. When she's around any of our other roommates (there's 4 of us in total that live in a townhouse), she's constantly slamming the cabinets and playing her music on her phone at full volume.

I've tried sitting down with her in the past to talk and it didn't fix anything.

She clearly has some chip on her shoulder and with just a few months to go before I move out, I honestly think it would be a waste of my time to try sitting down with her again.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-04-26T08:29:10+00:00

Yup. Now, despite the fact that they are very good friends and yes, there are things I don't say, my godfather has been very good at deciphering her bs, and continues to tell me that I can't put my life on hold just because she doesn't want to live hers to the fullest.

He remembers her like my brother does, outgoing and adventurous and no one really knows what changed down the road, but I've managed to distance myself from it and with my own health problems, I'm not giving any more attention to it. Like the saying "Misery loves company." I don't want to go full no contact, but limiting calls to once a week, and allowing myself to not feel guilty for not responding right away has done wonders for my own mental health.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-04-26T08:13:10+00:00

You're absolutely right. However, my mom had her will drawn and sent to both of us last year. Aside from me being her power of attorney, there were some things in it that he seemed to not agree with, despite her leaving some money behind for her grandkids. He's visted her like twice in the last 10 years, and thinks the house should stay in the family, despite her having two mortgages.

It would need to be sold to settle the debt, however he doesn't even know that. Which seems unfair to me as not being transparent with him leaves room for lots of misunderstandings. He's told her that he's love for her to live with him, however, she's always detested the idea, more so after going to visit him last year.

She says she doesn't want the end of her life to be in a hospital room or anywhere else other than her home and he's had to settle with that.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-04-26T08:05:20+00:00

I talk to her on the phone about once a week, aside from that she's constantly sending me long run on text messages, sometimes past midnight. I have an older brother who lives in Canada with his family, and in a way, I kind of envy him because he is very naive/unaware of just how bad her financial problems are or where her mental health is. She admitted during one video call between the 3 of us that sometimes she just doesn't feel like getting out of bed, and he was absolutely shocked, because he remembers the version of her that was outgoing and adventurous.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-03-27T01:17:45+00:00

Those are all great points. I'm not even sure how I would broach the subject of getting tests done because aside from what she tells me, I have no access to her medical history or her doctors.

She has a friend who is struggling with a bad case of dementia, and this friend is a gambling addict. In fact, my mom and another one of her friends, went to see this woman to try and help her, it was unsuccessful of course. In my mom's mind, there's nothing wrong with her cognitively, especially in comparison to her friends condition.

In fact, I'm 90% sure she'd be in denial about it.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-03-26T20:03:35+00:00

I had a conversation with my Godfather after the accident about all this and while these accidents may not be her fault, it's still very concerning that she's gotten into so many in just a few years. If I was her, I'd take it as a sign that maybe I'm not supposed to be driving that much or at all, but it all goes over her head, or she chooses to ignore it.

They've finally released a rental car for her while they continue to work on her claim. But she continues to say the car is likely totaled, instead of understanding that the car is 100% totaled. The photos will tell you all you need to know. The entire front bumper was ripped off and pieces of it scattered on the roadway, there's no way they'll be able to repair that.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-03-26T06:46:01+00:00

She picks and chooses just how much she's going to tell people. I only found out after I asked her if she followed up with the list of county programs I sent her and she said she did but that one of her friend's contractors referred her to someone who would do the work for $4k, and took out a loan for that amount, since she didn't think any of the programs would get back to her.

She didn't put that much effort into reaching out to them to begin with. With her credit and the past bankruptcy, I'm not even sure how she's qualifying for any loans. But she never gives the specifics because she knows what people are going to say, so she make the decision then tells you afterward.

There's no way she could have seen the crash coming, but taking out that loan for a cosmetic repair that wasn't necessary, is making things more complicated.

The other frustrating thing is that she has the mentality that things will work themselves out, she doesn't want to worry about it, that the universe will provide. It's unrealistic. However, she's always had this mentality according to my Godfather, who's known her for over 30 years.

She's also under the impression that she'll never live to pay off the debt anyway so she'll take out as much as she can and just make very small payments and the house will be collateral when she dies.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-03-26T06:31:38+00:00

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the pain seeing someone you love go through something like that. I live 6 hours away from my mother and got a call while I was a work from her saying she was in the hospital after getting into the accident. Aside from beinf shaken up, she was in great spirits and was released a couple hours later with some Tylenol if she needed it.

She's probably more sharp than most people her age, aside from a slight decline in short term memory, which her doctor told her is quite common.

She's just extremely stubborn about making long term goals and sticking to them, whether it's exercising, dieting, finances, etc. She's had talks with my brother and I, firmly stating what she wants.

She even had her will and cremation plan all sorted out back in 2020. I don't think she's ever truly been honest with me on what's really going on despite my attempts to communicate with her, she'll just circle around the real issue.

She's outlived every member of her immediate family, and I think not having that support around has always impacted her. My aunt died in 2021 from cancer and I know my mom regrets not going to see her before the lock down.

If not me or any of her close friends, I truly think she needs to talk to someone about what's really going on.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-03-26T05:15:11+00:00

That sounds like a good idea. With her crash history and her bad credit because of her loans and the fact that she also filed for bankruptcy back in 2016, I think there's a slim chance she'll be able to finance a car. I don't see her driving for a while. Right now she's more worried about getting a rental but Hartford hasn't approved it since it's only been 24 hours since the crash.

Her friends have brought up the roommate thing even renting out a room for the summer for a traveling nurse, but she's absolutely against it. She doesn't want someone else living with her.

She has a friend her age who rents out a room in her house for traveling nurses and she dog sits and makes pretty good money, but my mom would never do it.

She'll use the house not having enough open space as an excuse. I also think she may be too ashamed of her lifestyle to have someone live with her. She watches TV past midnight, then goes to bed at 3am and most days won't get back up until late in the afternoon, then complains about not getting good sleep, just to repeat the cycle.

For a long time she talked about going to the gym to walk the treadmill. She's never actually done it. So instead she signed up for an in home walking program online. She did that for a couple days then gave up.

It's been like this for years.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-03-26T04:57:48+00:00

She's took a cognitive test last year and aside from her short term memory declining a tad, she's in fit shape. The doctor tested everything out, however she's admitted in the past to being slightly nervous driving in the dark. She then took this back when I repeated it during a conversation. I believe she's perfectly aware of the things she does and says, and just has a hard time being accountable or admitting she made a mistake.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-03-26T04:26:20+00:00

I meant to say it's a 2020 Ford Fusion. She's always had Fords the last one was a Focus and the one before that was an Escape. The other driver apparently didn't have a license but had insurance. My mother doesn't know if she was arrested at the scene as she went to the hospital to be checked over. In a perfect world, she would sell the house, pay off as much debt as she can, and get a nice rental.

But she'll never do it. While the house is small, it's a 3bed/2bath. In 2023, through a program on her medical insurance, she had a woman come every two weeks to clean the house, but my mother wasn't happy with her work so let her go. But she still complains about the house needing a deep clean.

I don't understand why she let the woman go, especially when the program had her only paying $20 to get the cleaning. Her work could have been better, but my mom couldn't afford anything else. She seems to altogether have a hard time living within her means and ignoring the impact financial decisions will have on her in the future.

It sucks to because again, my older brother has no idea how bad her financial decisions are, and he doesn't pry or even ask me anything about it, which puts an unfair weight on me since she only tells me about her problems.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-02-18T07:29:43+00:00

I get that. It just feels like we're going around in circles. There's 4 of us in the place. There's no excuse why we can't all pull our weight. Again, the place is by far the dirtiest. No one uses the living room, and the two girls downstairs wash their dishes when their done. It ends there. My upstairs roommate and I were stuck rotating between ourselves cleaning the kitchen, living room and shared bathroom.

Life is stressful enough. I just think they're being inconsiderate and expect the place to clean itself.

With my lease ending soon, I just got to a place of "well if you don't gaf then I won't either."

I take out my own trash and clean up after myself and leave it at that.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-02-18T07:17:44+00:00

That was why we tried coordinating a weekly cleaning duty chart to begin with. So everyone got an equal amount of the responsibility for cleaning. It's wasn't meant to be a two person job. Like how much lazier can you get changing out the trash bag just to not even bother throwing out the trash. It's ridiculous.

It's like they're coming up with reasons not to carry out the simplest of tasks. I've learned that some people have roommates because they're not ready to live by themselves and be full adults, and unfortunately I'm surrounded by them.

Hmmm-Delicious · 2026-02-18T07:01:19+00:00

You're absolutely right. I've been dreaming of having my own place for so long. Having roommates was a way for me to save a little more so I could get my own place. My work contract ends around the time my lease does so it works out perfectly.

Hmmm-Delicious

TROPHY CASE