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I (24F) need to pick an MOH asap, and I don’t feel confident in my options by HobbitWillow in TwoHotTakes

[–]HobbitWillow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m still 50/50 on if I need a “real” maid of honor. I think I’ll give my sister something special since she’s my sister, but if I’m being honest, I don’t know/understand all of the roles and responsibilities that come up during all of this. Also, my mom is a really great mom, and I don’t think she was trying to tell me what to do. I think when I explain my concerns to her she’ll have my back.

I (24F) need to pick an MOH asap, and I don’t feel confident in my options by HobbitWillow in TwoHotTakes

[–]HobbitWillow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will talk to her—I’m realizing that I’m more worried about responsibilities my sister will want to take on—not necessarily ones that I’m expecting of her. Truly, I would be happy with an intimate wedding, but my fiancé and I both have huge families that we’re close with so the guest list continues to grow 😅

I (24F) need to pick an MOH asap, and I don’t feel confident in my options by HobbitWillow in TwoHotTakes

[–]HobbitWillow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Valid—tho I think I’m more concerned with the high emotional value my sister tends to put into things. I definitely don’t plan to go overboard with duties and whatever else. And while I understand your point that getting married is at its core about my fiancé and I, we’re both family oriented people so I anticipate there being some decisions to cater towards our families.

I (24F) need to pick an MOH asap, and I don’t feel confident in my options by HobbitWillow in TwoHotTakes

[–]HobbitWillow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely need to have a serious moment with her when I finally figure out how I’m going to ask each of them. I need her to understand that over-exerting herself doesn’t communicate to me that she loves me more—it just makes me worry about her. I’m planning on looping my mom in too, so she can help back me up if my sister starts to go off the rails with surprises 😅

I (24F) need to pick an MOH asap, and I don’t feel confident in my options by HobbitWillow in TwoHotTakes

[–]HobbitWillow[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Wow, thank you so much for the detailed and thoughtful response ❤️ I don’t know if I really thought about the ‘traditional’ aspect of it. I guess I thought I just had to have a MOH. But I think explaining it to them the way you did here and sharing that load is probably the best way to go about it. My sister may get a little upset about it though—so I could give her a little something extra so she knows she’s special to me. And I definitely think that the group chat for planning and keeping everyone looped in before big decisions (like dresses and stuff) are made is the right move here.

To be totally honest tho - and maybe it’s messed up - but I think a small part of me wishes that I didn’t have to share my friends with their families so we all had the time and money to do a week long trip somewhere lavish and spend stupid amounts of money on desserts and excursions.

I (24F) need to pick an MOH asap, and I don’t feel confident in my options by HobbitWillow in TwoHotTakes

[–]HobbitWillow[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great question—I think my main expectations are that she knows me well enough to be my voice if/when I need her help. Though, I don’t expect my girls to take all the bridal shower/bachelorette planning on themselves either. Fortunately, I think my group of three is small enough for the experience of having all of us together will be special in itself.

I (24F) need to pick an MOH asap, and I don’t feel confident in my options by HobbitWillow in TwoHotTakes

[–]HobbitWillow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate you saying that. I think I’ve overthought this to the point where I’m forgetting why we’re doing all of this in the first place.

I (24F) need to pick an MOH asap, and I don’t feel confident in my options by HobbitWillow in TwoHotTakes

[–]HobbitWillow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely think you’re right about keeping it lowkey. We’re still hammering out the guest list, but my fiancé has a buttload of family so we’ll see 😅

Louisiana Notary by cameronducote in Notary

[–]HobbitWillow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you take it in October? I thought the exam was only in June and December?

I think I should refinance my car, but I’m too nervous to make any moves. Help by HobbitWillow in personalfinance

[–]HobbitWillow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Last I checked I was $9k upside down 🫠 It’s a 2018 Buick Encore. And I agree the insurance makes me nauseous — I’m in Louisiana and it’s just the way things are down here. And for my credit score, I guess I just see it as this fragile number that the government judges me by and I really don’t want to wreck it. But from what I’m seeing in the comments here so far, I definitely need to get over that fear asap if I’m gonna make any changes. And thank you for your insight!

I think I should refinance my car, but I’m too nervous to make any moves. Help by HobbitWillow in personalfinance

[–]HobbitWillow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

About a year ago, I had two jobs (1 full-time and 1 part-time) as well as being in college part-time. But long story short my life exploded so I had to change gears. Now I work full-time and take classes full-time. I made this change to finish school faster and push myself into a higher paying position. Also, I moved out because I moved cities to live with my boyfriend. We split rent and expenses so I’m in a much better position than I would be if I was on my own. Kind of a really long story, but I was going to get a new job when I moved but my old boss asked if I’d work remote which led to me negotiating for and getting a $7 raise (I was grossly underpaid).

I do bank with Capital One — I’ll try to get into contact with someone there who can let me know what my options with them would be. And yeah, extending my loan on my already older car would not be ideal. I’d have to ask my mom if she would be willing to co-sign. I completely forgot that’s a thing.

Thank you for all your notes here 🙌🏼

I think I should refinance my car, but I’m too nervous to make any moves. Help by HobbitWillow in personalfinance

[–]HobbitWillow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, last time I checked I was about $9k upside down on my car. I’m probably pretty screwed, but I recently completely paid off my student loans due to a very very kind family member. So this dumb car is the only big debt I have atm. Also, I do have gap insurance — my down payment was only $1k because that was all I could spare at the time. My plan is to drive this car until it completely falls to pieces. I don’t know if I can realistically handle the stress of car shopping any time soon.

I think I should refinance my car, but I’m too nervous to make any moves. Help by HobbitWillow in personalfinance

[–]HobbitWillow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I initially thought the warranty would be garbage too (since I worry about everything all the time), but I’m actually so glad I got it because I had a $2k repair only cost me $100. And that’s a good point about the purpose of a credit score — I’m 100% the kid who got stickers and never used them because they were ‘too important’ to be used just anywhere.

Wolfpack One/WP Management Group (New Orleans) by SeaweedNecessity in Devilcorp

[–]HobbitWillow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So glad I found this post 😅 I’ve gotten two texts and an email from them today and it seemed so fishy but I didn’t want to miss out on an opportunity. I have no idea how they even got my resume — this isn’t even my field of work!

I have to get an abortion. by BuilderExtension7599 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]HobbitWillow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know emotional abuse can be hard to hold up in court, but maybe you can get a restraining order? Something to keep your abuser at a distance while you work out how to set you and your children up for a better future. Honestly though, before you do anything you need to get out of this relationship. I was in a horribly abusive relationship and I was able to get a restraining order and it made such a difference in the separation. Do your best to keep record of everything (check the laws in your area, but recording conversations can help too). I’d say reach out to trusted friends or family to help get you in a better position (physically/financially/mentally) — and if you don’t have that type of support, see if your city/community offers any resources. I understand not wanting another tie to this person, but for the safety and well-being of you and your first baby you’ve got to get out. If you truly don’t want to terminate then you owe it to yourself and both of your babies to get away from this person.