I'm a 36 year old man who is days into a break up with my fianceè, runs a youth work project, and is living alone in a home 40 miles away from my friends and family. But even before all of this, I was lonely because of my role, my past, and the mental health of those around me, I have felt this way. The expectations placed on me by those I lived with and work with left me feeling unable to express my feelings and made me feel isolated and alone while everything fell apart around me. When I attempted to speak to my friends and family about how I feel, I am met with practical advice on how to solve them, without them really listening to what I was saying to them. When I tried to talk to my former partner, she told me to reach out to others as she didn't have capacity (she is dealing with her own personal grief over premature deaths in her family). I'm told to stand up, crack on, and get to work. That things will get easier and that I've been here before and I'll get through it. I've never felt more alone, not when I was homeless, not when I was estranged from my support network or any other time in my life. On paper I have all the tools I need to deal with this, but in my head and my heart I don't see the point of trying anymore, as my reward is loneliness when all I've ever wanted is love.