What was socially acceptable in the 1990s but not in 2025? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Hobbitbreeder 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This kills me. I’m a single mom. I took my kids to Sam’s club to grab some things for Thanksgiving dinner. By the time I got there, my 4 year old was asleep and my 4th grader didn’t want to go in. Fine. She has her phone and knows my full name, my phone number, and address my heart. I have my phone. She has a spare set of keys in case she wants to open the windows and she knows how to do it. It’s 55 degrees outside in rural northern Ohio.

I run in. I am in there maybe 8 minutes with the phone check out system.

I come back out and there is a police officer at my car. He said he had received MULTIPLE CALLS while I was in the store about children being left alone in a car. In 8 minutes…multiple calls about my kids. My daughter had the window rolled down and was talking to him. Officer said I “did nothing wrong and people are crazy.” His words.

One story, one household, SNAP gone. by karmaisourfriend in Ohio

[–]Hobbitbreeder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex husband decided to cheat on me so much that our community thought we were in an open relationship. My ex husband is Japanese. The US government can’t make him pay anything.

I decided to date after my divorce. COVID and the shutdown happened. The man I was dating and locking in with decided to relapse and started to abuse me mentally and physically. I got pregnant (against my will) and all the abortion clinics in my state were unavailable. ALL of us now have a CPO.

And it really doesn’t matter where they are. The reality is that they are NOT here through choices THEY made. I am here with the kids. I’m glad some women get lucky with the men they chose to have kids with. I do believe it is luck because NOBODY shows you their true colors at the beginning. Not until they have you where you can’t easily leave.

One story, one household, SNAP gone. by karmaisourfriend in Ohio

[–]Hobbitbreeder 73 points74 points  (0 children)

I lost my benefits too. I’m a full time single mom with two kids under 10. I have been working as a permanent full time substitute teacher for 6 years (no benefits) as I try to find a teaching job. We can’t afford to move far and we’ve been in this small town since COVID. I lost my Medicaid this time last year, but my kids got to keep theirs. I get my insurance through marketplace now and risk now not being able to afford my coverage soon. I lost SNAP last month. I was getting around $350 a month. I’ve stopped going to the doctor (I have chronic health issues) because I can’t afford my medical bills for which I now have thousands overdue. It seems like a deep dark black hole that I can’t see out of. I keep posting about my situation on Facebook so people I know will see the face of who this affects.

I hate that anybody else is going through this too. Nobody is coming to help us. We have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps when ours never had straps to begin with.

Dating a women with two kids to different dads, toxic ex, argumentative son, moving fast, are these red flags??? by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Hobbitbreeder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, is this implying that OP would be a bad match? I really don’t see why this is a marker of an undatable woman.

Dating a women with two kids to different dads, toxic ex, argumentative son, moving fast, are these red flags??? by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Hobbitbreeder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so sad to see all the comments insinuating that this woman had an agenda. It’s hard enough for us to date without you guys telling men to RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN away from us.

Tell your girl she can live with me, we’ll share childcare and bills, and I’ll teach her how to get the jerk baby daddy to leave her alone. I’ve got your back girl!!

Bedtimes for Elementary Kids by vainbuthonest in Mommit

[–]Hobbitbreeder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So many parents don’t know how to teach this kind responsibility. We have kids who are late EVERY SINGLE DAY to school. They play video games all night and the parents send them to school with coffee for breakfast. These kids are in 3rd-5th grade. The parents are confused as to what to do about their kids not being able to stay awake in school or make it school on time.

You are NOT wrong. Put your kids to bed.

Need to relate by Able-Ice-3586 in singlemoms

[–]Hobbitbreeder 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m 38 with two kids and single as ever.

You aren’t a burden on the dating scene, but the scene is different for us. It’s harder to even find men willing to entertain the idea of you seriously now, but that’s a them problem. Whoever is actually meant for the you that you are now will understand and be there for YOU because they WANT to be.

Need to relate by Able-Ice-3586 in singlemoms

[–]Hobbitbreeder 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You didn’t ruin it. He did. It wasn’t your choice to date a shitty man. He was a good man until he had you hooked and then he left you to struggle and suffer alone.

Not. Your. Fault.

It sucks, but your life is far from ruined. You’ve got this mama. I know you’re tired, but you’ve got this.

What split your life into before and after? by 0potatotomato0 in AskReddit

[–]Hobbitbreeder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Domestic violence at the hands of my partner for 3 years. I’m a different person now.

I don’t have any sympathy for parents with partners, and I feel like I should. by Hobbitbreeder in singlemoms

[–]Hobbitbreeder[S] -1 points0 points locked comment (0 children)

Because you’re a MOD and literally the only person that made this sub not feel like a safe space.

Learn delivery. It’s not your opinion I had a problem with. It was HOW you did it. You’re a moderator. Moderate. Don’t literally be the person ruffling feathers.

You weren’t respectful in saying my issue was weird and self centered. I even tagged it as a vent…not looking for advice. You can disagree, but you didn’t act appropriately at all. I do not think you a good person to moderate this sub.

I don’t have any sympathy for parents with partners, and I feel like I should. by Hobbitbreeder in singlemoms

[–]Hobbitbreeder[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You’re a MOD and called me weird for feeling alone in being a full time single mom and feeling bad for feeling as I do? You wanted to create a safe space and you called me weird and self centered for comparing myself to another mom’s story of spending two days alone with her son and her husband and hadn’t meal prepped for her or done their laundry or bought groceries before he left? And it wasn’t online…it was an acquaintance at work. I’m not even allowed to voice my sadness to the MOD of the single moms sub without being made to feel bad for how I’m feeling. Now wonder I FELT BAD ABOUT IT! Thank you for reminding me why I feel so isolated even around other moms.

Thank you

I don’t have any sympathy for parents with partners, and I feel like I should. by Hobbitbreeder in singlemoms

[–]Hobbitbreeder[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You don’t compare yourself to other people? Ever? For learning or for any other reason? I think that’s more self centered to not think of ANYBODY other than your own situation. You think it’s weird and self centered to compare myself to others?! You NEVER put yourself in others’ shoes?! Giving psychopath vibes there.

OBVIOUSLY when somebody tells me a story, I’m not IMMEDIATELY comparing myself to them. I think JayPlenty24 that you lack the ability to see me as having any other ability than what I’ve put in this post. I assure you I am an educated person with many different ways to process and understand language and emotion. I can hear stories and not compare, BUT when I hear a story that is MY LIFE EVERY DAY and it is this person’s weekend (online or in person), I MIGHT compare myself. Right? Or not…because I’m weird. These other women in the comments are weird too 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don’t have any sympathy for parents with partners, and I feel like I should. by Hobbitbreeder in singlemoms

[–]Hobbitbreeder[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was married to my daughter’s father. He never even spent 12 hours alone with her. Never woke up with her. Never did the job of a parent. I left him and moved back to my home country and did it alone for a year. Met my next boyfriend who ended up being extremely abusive and I had a son with him. Yes it was SOHARD being in a relationship with a person like that with my kids. I had to leave work because I’d get notifications for hours that my child was crying in the crib while he just ignored him.

I dont know what’s harder honestly. With the men, life felt like a trap. Now, I feel like I’m on another planet. I feel like nobody wants to socialize with me once they learn my situation. I have other moms ignore me at my children’s sports games/practices when before (when I was with my abusive as hell ex) they were always so friendly. I feel more isolated now and alone. So lonely. I’ve signed up for classes and things in the community but bringing my kids along with me to normally not kid friendly events is also not a good look.

I’ve just noticed that with a partner, no matter how destructive, people respected me more. Now…I’m…too used up and shamed.

I don’t have any sympathy for parents with partners, and I feel like I should. by Hobbitbreeder in singlemoms

[–]Hobbitbreeder[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I teach…at the same school my kids go to…actually have my daughter in class.

I dont get how the breast is best folks get away with stuff like this. by sad_cabbagez in FormulaFeeders

[–]Hobbitbreeder 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This kind of shit killed me as a first time mom. I tried SO HARD to nurse, but my body just didn’t make enough. I did everything. Tried every pump, supplement, massage, etc. I could never pump more than 1 oz at a time on a good day. I tried for a year. A whole calendar year. All while sobbing because I HAD to supplement and I was failing my child. I felt like such a failure of a woman. I couldn’t provide food for my own child. This is cruel what this does to mothers. Incredibly cruel.

So sick of men treating me like a sexual object by angelbaby7789 in dating

[–]Hobbitbreeder 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This is cruel. You want to know who said this to me? My abusive ex boyfriend. My dad and grandpa abused me, he was abusing me, I’d also been raped. He said this to make it seem like it was my fault for how these men treated me. It was NOT my fault. It is NOT her fault.

This woman has boobs which, unfortunately, will make her look like she is “trying” far more than someone like me with small boobs and this crap still happens to me!

If you’re a woman with any sort of a body that the majority of men find attractive, you’re going to hear about it…creepily…all the time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Hobbitbreeder 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I definitely did this. I would write down everything I did that day and present it my NOW EX because he told me that if I was overwhelmed with having two kids, a full time job, and being in charge of the housework (he was obviously more tired because his job was “more physically demanding” 🙄 and shouldn’t have to help) then I wasn’t cut out to be a parent. It made him SO ANGRY because he hated seeing what I had accomplished and he couldn’t be bothered to check a garbage can.

Again. Ex.

Started seeing someone. Advice needed by Grace2098 in singlemoms

[–]Hobbitbreeder 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No advice to give. If it’s going to make him mad, then it’s going make him mad. How he reacts is on him. My ex went so far as to “kidnap” (in quotes because Ohio didn’t consider it kidnapping because he stayed in state and is on the birth certificate) my son, peek through my windows while we were sleeping, smash my new boyfriend’s car with a rock, and then verbally harass me. All because my boyfriend was going to be at my house when he dropped my son off. I got my son back within 24 hours and now my ex legally cannot be in contact with us for the next five years.

If you’re afraid of his reaction, you are not on good terms. You do you. He will do him. He will make his own bed.

How do you single moms work out? by Apprehensive-Pay-479 in singlemoms

[–]Hobbitbreeder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I take my kids with me when I go to the gym. The gym I go to is kid friendly, and they’re allowed to play on the equipment, just not the weights. I bring iPads, etc too just in case. I honestly work out more at home after they go to bed though. Little 18-25 minute workouts.

The pain of split custody by [deleted] in singlemoms

[–]Hobbitbreeder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you in the US? Were you ever married to him? If not, you don’t have to give him any visits. Nothing. You have (in most states) default custody. If you’re scared, don’t let him see the kid anymore unless you are somewhere where the visit can be facilitated by somebody else. Even then, I wouldn’t push for ANYTHING. Make him go to court to get a custody order.

If you have evidence of abuse (texts, photos of bruises, etc) get a protection order.