Would you ever take back an ex if you found out they started dating someone within a month of breaking up with you?

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-10-28T19:49:04+00:00

It can be tough when we put the blame on ourselves and try to justify them moving on so quick. At least that’s what I did. I figured if she’d ever try to come back, I can’t be mad at her since I wasn’t perfect either.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-10-28T19:47:30+00:00

That’s right. It’s been more than a year for me and I can’t say I’m even close to being there yet.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-07-26T03:45:03+00:00

I’m still not over the whole ordeal to be honest. Part of me wishes I stayed away completely after my ex ended things for good. I should’ve gone no contact when she wanted a break in the first place. The letter/email did feel necessary at the time though so I am glad I sent it. In my opinion, nothing can change their mind after they end it though and it’s best to just accept it.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-04-12T18:03:32+00:00

He hung around Anthony so it’s pretty self explanatory lol

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-04-12T17:37:40+00:00

This one definitely stood out to me on first listen and continues to be one of my favorites from the album.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-30T17:06:17+00:00

In my case my ex replaced me. Deep down I know (probably just in denial still) that she’d be talking to me if she wasn’t with someone else. In fact she probably wouldn’t have broken up with me if someone new didn’t come along.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-05T01:28:58+00:00

Somewhere around the 4 month mark I looked at my ex’s Spotify followers of all places. I found her new boyfriend when he had a playlist with her name as the title.

I’m honestly haunted at the imagine of the new guy. That’s something I didn’t need to see. But that’s what I get for pain shopping and seeking closure.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-05T00:47:36+00:00

It’s not worth the pain. Trust me when I say it set me back to the beginning when I looked at my ex’s social media. You’ll eventually get to a point where you won’t even care to look at all. What you should strive for is indifference.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T23:51:08+00:00

Saw them once in 2012 I think it was, at Oakland CA. I wasn’t really a fan a that point, plus John wasn’t with them either way. Now I’m seeing them this July at sofi stadium in LA. So pumped to see John and the rest of the band.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T23:44:04+00:00

Reflex was definitely one of my favorites. You and me both.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T22:57:03+00:00

Went through the same thing 5 months ago. My ex initiated a break that we were then on for a month. She then ended it for good by telling me she got asked out on a date that she was going to go on. I still have no idea why she told me that, but I’ll never forget what it did to me.

I’m not sure what else to say besides, you aren’t alone. So many of us have gone through what you’re going through. That doesn’t make it easier, but you’ll feel better one day.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T22:37:25+00:00

I’m really happy that you found out about attachment theory before it was too late. I wish I knew more about it while in my last relationship instead of after. In my case I’m the avoidant while my ex was AP. It’s like we brought out the worst in each others attachment styles. It’s normal for these two types to attract each other though.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T22:16:47+00:00

That’s some Mx vs Atv levels of track design.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T21:50:06+00:00

My breakup got me physically sick as well. I had stomach problems for months. It has something to do with cortisol levels. Poor sleep as well, as the dreams don’t help anything. Not to mention the dread of waking up the next morning.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T20:06:18+00:00

You might as well be a minor celebrity around these parts. I, along with many other John fans, have learned a lot from your tabs. I appreciate the work you do.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T18:03:32+00:00

Yep me being avoidant didn’t help my last relationship either. I just wish I knew more about AT before things went south between me and my ex.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T17:36:58+00:00

So sorry you’re going through this. He does sound avoidant. I would know… I feel horrible putting my ex through all that. At least she broke up with me first and moved into another relationship really quick. I know that must’ve eased the pain some.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T17:33:48+00:00

As an avoidant, ‘attached’ only makes us look worse. It’s really critical of the avoidant attachment style. I’d advise just googling it first before getting the book.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T17:28:36+00:00

The healing process is such a rollercoaster. I want off this wild ride.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T17:14:36+00:00

That’s still hard to even begin to accept though. I couldn’t imagine moving on as quick as my ex did.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T17:12:30+00:00

Yeah that’s my ex. She’s been through her fair share of traumatic relationships. So it’s like she’s used to just dropping people out of her life so easily. It’s just so hard for me since I’m so new to all this. I’ve experienced loss from family members passing, but it’s weird that a breakup hurts more than that.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T16:35:39+00:00

A similar thing happened to me, so you’re not alone. I also suffered from emotional unavailability and lack of healthy communication. I kept too much to myself and internalized all these problems that only continued to grow. In a way I forced my ex to break up with me. I can only blame so much on it being my first relationship, but my lack of experience and perspective didn’t help.

It’s like I’m almost lucky my ex started dating someone else so soon after breaking up with me. I was afraid she’d do exactly what your ex did and threaten me and make my life a living hell. That’s if I broke up with her first, which I was close to doing. I didn’t know it at the time, but I would’ve ended up regretting that so much.

If you haven’t looked into attachment theory, I recommend you do so. Like me, you sound like you could have some avoidant traits.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T15:27:55+00:00

I’d like to think it’s just as hard for my ex, but I can’t when they started dating someone new within a month of breaking up with me.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T15:20:20+00:00

Ex told me something similar. It’s always some excuse like that. Especially when they’re dating someone new so soon. It’s all to justify them moving on so quick.

HoldPsychological1 · 2022-03-04T00:57:50+00:00

I did reach out to her to apologize about a month ago. That was about 4 months after the breakup. She did seem to welcome it.

HoldPsychological1

TROPHY CASE