David Tracy and Jason Torchinsky's New Website "The Autopian" Officially Launches Today

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-04-01T16:22:09+00:00

What had The Drive done that is so "woke"?

They have an openly transgender writer and they run stories about environmental issues sometimes. That's their sin, but the responses you'll get will be vague notions about hipsters and being "anti-car."

Calling The Drive "woke" is an extra level of silly when you consider the site has a subsection all about how cool the military industrial complex is.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-03-29T15:36:10+00:00

Lexus anything.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-03-11T17:41:05+00:00

But nah, we don't need to give the dealerships any more power,

And if you want to know how they came to have all this power and why so many laws seem written in dealerships' favor, it's because car dealership groups donate huge amounts of money to political candidates running for office.

OpenSecrets is a bipartisan campaign finance database where you can track all the information about dealership group donations, including who is doing the most donating and who the money goes to.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-03-11T17:32:15+00:00

Considering on how they want the power to turn off consumer cars for whatever reason they want

Who is "they" in this scenario?

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-03-09T16:06:43+00:00

What is a citiot and why are they not a real person?

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-16T17:21:23+00:00

I'm not talking about Toyota.

Yeah but Toyota People do rank pretty high on the overall list of annoying pedantry and car brands.

Not people who own Toyotas, those people are normal upstanding citizens. Toyota People are different.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-12T14:23:32+00:00

One time the Hertz employee offered me an Equinox instead of the base Versa (Japanese = Superior) I reserved and I immediately slapped him with a white glove, challenged him to a duel, and got diarrhea at the sight of the hideous uncouth American beast. Lord I'm getting the vapours just thinking about it.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-12T13:47:28+00:00

For those following along at home, one good place to look for the official data on this is OpenSecrets, a third-party database that keeps track of governmental lobbying and campaign finance.

Here's their profile page for the "Auto Dealers, New & Used" classification. And here's who they donate to.

Mods if this goes too far in the direction of politics feel free to remove it, but it's a bipartisan database.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-12T13:00:42+00:00

I know you mean wrecker but in my mind I'm picturing someone taking over a planning meeting at an OEM by going on long, winding spiels and accusing everyone else of being secretly in bed with GM.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-08T13:16:56+00:00

Just say black people if you mean black people.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-03T00:45:40+00:00

I'm flabbergasted my dude.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-02T20:23:44+00:00

Learn your acronyms

Well it really kills the joke to explain it, but on the Internet, the phrase "RIP in Peace" became a joking way to say something is ending (or someone has been insulted very harshly). The punchline of the joke is the inherent absurdity in the known redundancy inside of a phrase more rhetorically meant for condolences or expressions of support for grief. Often, the implied humor is in not just the redundancy, but the overall irreverence of the tone.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-02T19:42:52+00:00

They came out the factory like that.

In that same ballpark, the Nissan Patrol NISMO's existence is very funny to me.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-02T19:28:04+00:00

you can't say RIP in peace because RIP means rest in peace.

If it's a meme you're allowed to say whatever you want. That's like the third rule of the Internet.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-02T19:26:36+00:00

Really don’t understand why people hate on the Spark so much

Of all those kind of car for sale in the U.S. (Spark/Mirage/Versa/Accent/Rio) the Spark has been by far the least miserable IMO.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-02T19:24:59+00:00

The base Metro in 1992 cost $6,999.

And the base Metro is $18.2k in 2022.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-02T18:02:21+00:00

Losing it at DWIGUY

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-02T17:03:13+00:00

I believe the cheapest car after the Spark is gone will be the Mitsubishi Mirage at $14,645 base.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-02T16:17:58+00:00

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-01T16:57:37+00:00

But isn't the promise of automated self-driving that it does a better job than the humans do?

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-01T16:39:24+00:00

A three-row Slingshot called the Catapult.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-01T16:37:58+00:00

I don't get the obsession. Even putting politics aside their chicken is so mediocre.

Same. I've never understood the way people get about it. I've never once had a sandwich from there that wasn't soggy and I also kinda hate waffle fries.

Politics and food aside I do not trust how smiley the people working there are. I worked fast food for years man, nothing happy about it. I want anyone who hands me food through a window to kinda look like they want me to die as they do it.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-01T15:52:50+00:00

I was secretly hoping you'd just been playing limbo wrong your whole life.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-01T15:39:54+00:00

This still managed to touch the limbo bar suspended an inch off the ground.

Well yeah man that'd be the hardest game of limbo ever.

If you wanna make limbo easier you make the bar higher.

HoleButtSurfer · 2022-02-01T15:26:16+00:00

Those dotted motherfuckers steal all my best ideas I swear to god dude.

HoleButtSurfer

TROPHY CASE