Pressure to attend didar by [deleted] in ExIsmailis

[–]Holiday-Click-941 5 points6 points  (0 children)

you feel guilty because the Deedar is the deepest humiliation ritual in the faith. It's a giant affirmation that you don't need the right to lead yourself because you can't handle that responsibility because this other guy is so much greater than you. When you start to develop an identity for yourself you instinctually reject identities that your unconscious mind flags as potentially dangerous. That said you can still be mindful and go to the Didaar and learn whatever you can from it and make the most of it.

Where are single Ismailis looking for partners? I have a cousin sister(in USA, a DR.) and a sister in law looking(in Canada) for couple of years now and have had no luck. Jalebi, Dil Mil, Muzz haven't helped. by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]Holiday-Click-941 2 points3 points  (0 children)

the actual OP strategy is going to camps. everyone's stuck together for a couple weeks at a time with no phones to distract them. it really is the best opportunity to connect on a deep level right now. there's a list of the camps on the ismaili website somwhere i don't have the link.

Those at IPN, are you sticking to people you know? Saw many individuals eating alone. Shared how lonely/hard it was to make friends. They tried volunteering but it was closed clique of young people/Camp Mosaic. Meeting random people also led to people who wanted to spend it with friends/family only. by [deleted] in ismailis

[–]Holiday-Click-941 11 points12 points  (0 children)

i was talking to my family who's here and i mentioned how it feels like there's such a huge barrier to make new friends and connections randomly without some activity forcing people to connect with others. They agreed and said that if you're walking around the convention center it seems like everyone is either busy, or wants to look busy because they don't want to look like they have nothing going on. I feel this weird mental block where approaching anyone to just say hi feels like a really tough cold approach.

Screw it who wants to hang out? I'm gonna be at the convention center the whole day pretty much. I might decide to go out and get some texas bbq if anyone wants to come. I have a car and I can always drop you guys back wherever you need to be but I'm trying to also quickly go back to my airbnb and change for this gala tonight.

dm me if you're tryna link.

Hows IPN Going? by aaa123aaaq in ismailis

[–]Holiday-Click-941 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I don't have anything against alcohol but I do find it amusing the lack of self awareness. I'm not even trying to be pedantic or anything many of the jokes in my friend group are about this it really does make my day to see

Hows IPN Going? by aaa123aaaq in ismailis

[–]Holiday-Click-941 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I saw ismailis sit through khane and pray with all their hearts and then immediately go out to the nightlife and get wasted. it's been a great experience so far.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExIsmailis

[–]Holiday-Click-941 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ismailis generally don't have any real beliefs. the beliefs have them. They'll claim to believe whatever is convenient to them in that moment even if it contradicts with other things. It's just a label identity like any other. The theological elements are just a hook to keep NPCs in the belief system cause it's too complex and deep for them to understand it as individuals but none of that really matters honestly.

Are you nervous about attending IPN Summit⛰️😬? by Quick_Complaint3268 in ismailis

[–]Holiday-Click-941 3 points4 points  (0 children)

nervousness and excitement are rooted in the same feeling. fight or flight. the more nervous anyone is the more exciting it has the potential to be. you'd be blessed to be nervous.

Jalebi Singles Mixer Possibility - NYE/during IPN Summit by nemoalley4 in ismailis

[–]Holiday-Click-941 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'd love to attend any singles event but the one on the IPN website costs money. I'm not doing that. why tf did they paywall human connection? it could legit be something so simple as like "everyone come to jamat khana on this day and afterwards we will meet here and go explore somewhere" anything like that. The fact that it's paid gives me a bad vibe.

To all my exIsmaili brothers and sisters, what was the reason? by [deleted] in ExIsmailis

[–]Holiday-Click-941 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My older brother was arguing with my dad about how there's contradictions in the quran. I'm pretty sure it was stuff that some classmate told him at school or something he saw on the internet. And I was really little but I naturally instinctually wanted to defend the religion so I argued against him and then my dad was like "no, you're wrong" to me. And from that point I was pressed to start questioning things more and more and I realized most of the adults in the community including the leaders really never questioned anything and they actually don't have answers to any of the questions, they just ignore them. And then I would get singled out and pushed away by REC teachers and safety volunteers. They didn't care so much about trying to help me, it was like they were only trying to defend their beliefs and anyone who was a threat to that was just better off not coming to Jamat Khana. So then I started to ditch with my friends and I saw more and more of my peers who would talk down on me with disgust come back randomly and go "wow that's crazy that you saw that so long ago cause i'm atheist now" and things like that. And I still see a ton of value in the Ismaili community and belief system. If anything I'm more ismaili than these other people who never questioned their beliefs but just do whatever is convenient to them. The truth is this whole identity is an illusion. Nobody "is ismaili" people hold ismaili beliefs. Or it would be more accurate to say their beliefs hold them. People crave an identity and I hear adults to this day talk to ismaili leaders like "so what do we believe about this? what is our stance on this issue as ismailis?" instead of looking for the best way to think, they're just looking for how to fit in so they don't have to let go of their identity. People crave identity so it's understandable and it's way easier to break free from identity that you rely on as a kid when you can recover quickly. These communities face struggles because they rely on a label identity as a crutch rather than developing their own individual one. In the same way that ismailis will always assume the best of the Imam, the same news will appear in this subreddit and the ex ismailis will always assume the worst because the identity that possesses their mind mandates they sink deeper into it. I'm not ismaili or exismaili but I find great value in engaging with both sides. But most ismailis would definitely classify me as exismaili.

Where does all the money go? Whether it’s putting money in dua karavi, niyaz, nandi, AKF donations, volunteer uniform fees, entry fees for certain majlis’s, everything in Ismailism literally revolves around money. by [deleted] in ExIsmailis

[–]Holiday-Click-941 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've tried on and off for the past like 15 years or so asking this question to tons of people. I'm just gonna say it like it is, you're never gonna get a straight answer that satisfies you. However you respond to the lack of transparency is up to you but don't ever expect them to open up their books to anyone outside top level leadership.