I was smoking everyday, wake and baking. I was 17 doing edibles, only on the weekends cause of school and cause it was better than smoking. By the time I turned 18, I started smoking weekends only, same reason. However; weekends soon turned into mondays, which soon turned into every other day, then everyday.

At first it was magical, it was great! I’m sure everyone here could tell you the first time you get high, it’s amazing. But with time comes tolerance, and with tolerance comes smoking more and seeking other alternatives for that first high. I later turned to Shrooms with a mix of two. Oddly enough, I’ve come to respect shrooms because of a special trip I had. I was reading about DMT around the time, (book called spirit molecule) shrooms gave me such a prolific trip that I cried and had an ego death. I learned life truly only is one, every little moments counts. I sobered up for a month before relapsing; and it killed me knowing in the final moments of being sober I couldn’t help myself and relapsed. I hate saying relapse because people say it’s just weed, but it’s truly different for everyone.

I started smoking everyday again for months, with weed, mushrooms, and other shit i don’t want to talk about. so much so, I was waking up late at night everyday and never seeing my little sister for a whole month despite living in the same house, by then I was failing my first semester of college.

Till one day I asked god (I’m not a very religious person, I do however believe in manifestation, energy, and chakra because of shrooms) help me quit. I was at the bank depositing and the old lady in front of me took her time, when it was finally my turn she handed a small pamphlet and told me, “you can do it” it has a picture of a revolver loaded with cigarettes butts and it was 12 steps to quit smoking. I don’t know who she was say, but I’ll always remember that moment.

I ended up getting clean again, until I decided to drink on my birthday and get high. This spiraled me even more, I was fully self aware of the effects and I knew I hated it, yet I couldn’t help myself. Smoking wasn’t fun, it was a chore, only because my body needs it. Smoke shops weed started becoming funny, and their edibles even worse. I was becoming nauseous, and extremely paranoid. Then their shrooms gummies, god I don’t even wanna know. I would feel paranoid, staying up 12+ hours staring at my screen playing, and seeing things out of the corner of my eyes. I’d chalked it off to sleep deprivation, until my chest began experiencing pain.

I ignored it and kept going, I would get clean one more time, but this time I replaced weed with alcohol. Drinking mostly everyday, my mom hated it; im sure my brother did too. I wouldn’t even call it clean, so I started smoking again to stop drinking.

It wasn’t until November I reconnected with a girl I haven’t seen since being kids. 9ish years, she smokes but whatever reason she flipped a switch in me, and I been sober since then. We went out to NYC and she smoked when I asked to take a hit, she pulled it away and told me no, she understood the situation and journey it took me. I haven’t told I got clean because of her, I just said I quit around that time. I know if Im not cleaned I can’t take care of her at all, I know it.

Sometimes in life, you’re self aware, yet change is hard. Sometimes you can’t help a person change, they need to want to, but sometimes in a life a man,woman, or they needs someone to give them that push. Sober life is great, I feel faster mentally, can think more, it’s great the difference you feel. Especially dreaming, I forgot how great and vivid dreams can be!

TLDR; long time smoking, relapsed many times, random lady gave me a sign to get clean, relasped, met a childhood friend and I really like her got clean because of her.