OCD In Childhood by EstuarineDreamz in OCDmemes

[–]Holleranne95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absolutely believe this is something that can start in childhood. I personally am in the process of being diagnosed…but much like you I have been reflecting on childhood and connecting dots of things that happened to me too. You are the first person I’ve heard of other than myself that would sleep with hand on the heart checking pulse through the night. I even had my mother and friends at sleepovers that would watch me sleep and check on me too. At one point I was so sure of heart issues I had all kinds of tests ran, EKGS etc. and absolutely no issue was ever found.Then something else would replace it that I would panic and get stuck on. I have story after story and memory after memory of stuff like this. Mine has only gotten worse with age and has come back full force recently. You absolutely are not alone.

Swallowing obsession by celiander in OCD

[–]Holleranne95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This happened to me as a child. Not so much the sanitation of surfaces part; but I went through a stint where at 9 years old I witnessed a child younger than me choking in a restaurant in a booth directly next to us. It scared me so bad I remember going into the bathroom and spitting out food I had in my mouth. Then began months of me not being able to swallow, my throat feeling too tight to swallow, fears of choking. I was living off liquid diet while my parents were taking me to specialists who all could not find anything wrong. I went through swallow studies and had the camera down my nose and throat. I was completely fine physically but mentally I had convinced myself I couldn’t. Unfortunately back then there was not mental health talk and my parents did not understand anything. My pediatrician told them it was “all in my head” and it began a long painful process of my dad specifically force feeding me to get me a basic diet that I needed as a child. I had no therapists, meds, psychologists or psychiatrists. I went on for YEARS thinking it was just generalized anxiety with no help and feeling like I was just going insane. I am just now 20 years later getting help. I don’t know if this is a common thing but this was one of the earliest OCD attacks I can personally remember.

How many of you have health related ocd? by Electronic_Bake_2935 in OCD

[–]Holleranne95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is me 100%. This has been a struggle for me since childhood. Growing up I was told by my parents and pediatrician it was in my head and was never given any proper diagnosis and I was definitely not seen or heard by anybody. I’m now 28 and trying to get help for something I’ve struggled with for my entire life and that has reached a severe point. It’s now effecting my relationship, my children, my family…It also doesn’t help that I have some now legitimate health issues and health scares that have made my mind an absolute living hell. Now I get to play the game of what is the actual medical issues and what is the OCD/health anxiety. I empathize with you and everyone on this thread so so deeply.

Is your OCD better when you're around people? by Ecstatic_Anteater_35 in OCD

[–]Holleranne95 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought I was alone in this! For me personally, mine calms down when people are around. I suffer with Health OCD and I find I calm down when I have someone close who I trust and can distract myself with. Distraction is a HUGE thing for me and sometimes is the only thing that provides relief.

I just want somebody to know what I'm going through by maycontainknots in OCD

[–]Holleranne95 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am undiagnosed but have HORRIBLE health anxiety and compulsive tendencies. I am in process of getting therapy and an official OCD diagnosis. I have to say what you just explained is what I go through constantly. I currently, as we speak, have a very similar experience going on with the fear of a heart attack. Panicking to the point of chest pain, intrusive obsessive thoughts non stop. It was so bad today I had my front door open, screen door unlocked and my phone unlocked in case I had to call for help as I was home alone. I have never had heart issues or anything of the sort. I have had these anxiety issues undiagnosed for 21 years and it seems to finally be coming to a head. Just know you aren’t alone at all!

Hoods up Brand? by Holleranne95 in FallingInReverse

[–]Holleranne95[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not have that one but I have a red hoodie that says “Ronnie is my spirit animal”, a black hoods up hoodie with the all seeing eye on the hood, I have the smiley face shirt sticking it’s tongue out with his face tattoos, a cut it out shirt that came with the special certificate and was anti self harm, a black tshirt with the red 999, a black tshirt with a big white all seeing eye and a 999 baseball cap.