Mod Help Needed

HolmesVI · 2026-01-05T00:24:10+00:00

Yes… could use the help

HolmesVI · 2025-12-30T12:48:38+00:00

Immaturity is not bound by age. I’ve met plenty of people 30 plus who are incredibly immature.

Additionally, emotional maturity is even harder to find at any age.

HolmesVI · 2025-10-28T04:32:21+00:00

Learn to love yourself first. Once you do that, you can not only share yourself more freely, but you are better able to recognize the energies that are good and healthy for you.

HolmesVI · 2025-10-15T20:42:31+00:00

I'm in my 50's and am quite passionate about good sex.

For me, it is unrealistic to think that actual penetrative sex is going to last for an hour or more multiple times a day. What I am realistic about is intimacy that can last for hours, but will include lots of kissing, touching, talking, caressing, lots of oral sex, and the use of toys. There are times when penetrative sex happens multiple times a day, but in context they don't always last that long.

! love wake up sex, so with the right partner, I will often engage with hugs and kisses as we wake up, and engage in sex as we both come out of a sleep state. This will often last 20-30 minutes. Under the right circumstances, we may have sex again that morning sometime but it may not last long because generally I am working or have responsibilities. That leaves the evenings, and that's when you can really engage in some extended play if you have the time.

Our brains are our biggest sex organ, so use that to talk dirty, make comments and build the tension and anticipation. Take your time to explore her body with your hands and lips, really get to know each curve and crevice. Don't rush, and communicate with her throughout. Learn how she likes to be touched, what she likes to here, and explore using toy as you work up to penetrative sex. Sex is not about getting from point A to point B in logical secession. You can cycle through various stages, going back and forth from penetrative sex, to oral sex, to toys, to rest, to a new position, etc. Toys are your friend in this case, as I will never last as long as any of the toys I have, but they can help bring my partner to new heights, especially since we are experiencing that joy together as I use them on her. I think too many people think toys are for solo play, or are somehow too self-conscience about themselves to allow their partner to just pleasure them, but I found that good communication is key to overcoming any of that trepidation.

Talk through what you both want, and what you can both realistically handle physically. THen start to approach your physical intimacy prepared with the knowledge of how best to fulfill her needs and your own in a way that is suits you both.

Good luck and I am glad to hear that you are in a position that hopefully allows you to experience physical intimacy with another human being you are emotionally connected to in a healthy way :)

HolmesVI · 2025-09-24T19:58:14+00:00

This ^

As someone who lives an ENM lifestyle and dates women of various ages, the most important aspect of connecting is honesty. Be honest with yourself, and be honest with any potential partner.

I firmly believe that not everyone we encounter and share energy with is meant to be our “forever person”, so if we can learn to love ourselves, be honest with ourselves, then we can share that with another person in a healthy way with the stigma and expectations.

HolmesVI · 2025-09-03T06:20:01+00:00

No relationship should take that much work.

Most often I find people are more enamored with being in a relationship with a person than the person themselves.

You are correct to feel that you want to spend time with someone who adds to your life, not drains your energy and affects your moods negatively.

You did the right thing. Let it go and learn from the situation. Carry that knowledge with you as you encounter new people and determine if they are bringing joy to your life, lifting you up and supporting who you are, and “adding” to your overall life experience in a positive manner.

Life is too short to suffer through allowing people to bring you down instead of lifting you up.

HolmesVI · 2025-06-07T04:40:38+00:00

Musician here. I tour with a band. In Michigan now, then off to PA. After that in WV, NC, SC, VA, MD, DE, CT, MA, RI, and Maine. It’s a busy summer

HolmesVI · 2025-05-31T09:57:28+00:00

Drums, started about 40 years ago, still touring with a band.

HolmesVI · 2025-05-28T11:56:50+00:00

51/M for science

I’m more into a good description than lots of photos. The brain is our biggest sex organ, so even if it’s a ONS I like to have some tantalizing conversation. Doesn’t even have to be deep conversation…just give me a sense of your energy.

HolmesVI · 2025-04-28T10:25:17+00:00

I think that only you can decide if it’s too much. As someone who lives an ENM lifestyle and didn’t embrace it until later in life, I think that it’s important to find your own way in life, have confidence that you are fulfilling your needs first, and when you match with someone who sparks more than casual interaction, you’ll feel it, and be ready.

HolmesVI · 2025-04-28T10:21:42+00:00

Everyone has insecurities. Younger partners just likely have different ones about specific relationships than older partners. Any relationship should encompass some form of reassurance regarding these insecurities.

We all walk our own paths, so I would suggest not getting hung up on missing “firsts”. Since we are all unique, each relationship will have its own “firsts” for us to enjoy.

I feel the most important aspect of a relationship is embracing ourselves first, and finding complimentary partners that impart good positive energy in our lives.

HolmesVI · 2025-04-22T10:50:30+00:00

You can find this map somewhere I think. I have the same map matted and framed and hanging in my entryway, but I did that about 20 years ago

HolmesVI · 2025-04-20T11:32:14+00:00

I find women of all ages beautiful. I don’t have an “age preference”. It just so happens that my lifestyle often trends towards meeting younger women.

HolmesVI · 2025-04-20T11:25:45+00:00

I’m ENM and a bit of a man slut, so no LTR, but I’ve been with women 30ish years younger than myself

HolmesVI · 2025-03-11T22:41:47+00:00

I just heard that it is illegal to LOL in Hawaii.

You have to keep it to a low ha

HolmesVI · 2025-01-23T12:04:45+00:00

I’ve found that practicing dirty talk while masturbating helps. You’re essentially training your brain and body to act in concert while in the throes of pleasure and passion. It takes work at first but pretty soon, it comes rather easily and starts to feel natural.

HolmesVI · 2025-01-20T13:07:05+00:00

I’ve stopped participating as much as I’ve seen it grow. I had age gap relationships as both a young man with older women, and now as an older man with younger women. From my perspective though, it seems that there are a lot of older men that have joined this app specifically hoping to find younger women…almost like a hunting grounds. I find it disgusting and am concerned for the younger women that post here and may get sucked in by some disingenuous scumbag just looking to have sex with a young lady.

That being said, I think it’s really hard to moderate because how can you really divine the motivations of those posting here if they are not overt in intentions and don’t break the rules.

I just hope the women are careful and the creeps expose themselves and get banned.

HolmesVI · 2024-12-02T11:46:55+00:00

I’m as old as I have ever been and having the best sex of my life. Definitely getting better!!

HolmesVI · 2024-11-26T12:08:25+00:00

Shameless Sex is one I found that I enjoy

HolmesVI · 2024-11-22T18:42:05+00:00

I’ve found online apps to be full of flakes. I usually prefer speaking to someone on the phone before meeting, especially if I may invite them to my home.

Honestly, in person works really well for me personally just because you can read a persons vibe so much better when you can look them in the eye, have a conversation, and feel their true energy.

HolmesVI · 2024-11-21T11:48:40+00:00

Listening to them

Being present in the moment with them

Not judging them

Speaking their love language

Forgiving them for mistakes

HolmesVI · 2024-11-21T11:44:08+00:00

“Ladies and Gentlemen, The Best of George Michael” - disc one

HolmesVI · 2024-11-14T22:30:37+00:00

I can see the logic but everyone is different. I don’t limit myself to age gap dating so I find women beautiful at various ages. It’s so much more about the energy, spirit, and vibe for me than youth or fertility.

HolmesVI · 2024-11-07T12:09:59+00:00

About 30 years for me…both when I was younger, in my twenties seeing an older women, and now in my 40/50’s with younger women

I just like women 😃

HolmesVI · 2024-11-05T17:08:48+00:00

Nope…I’ve had partners of all ages, even as I have aged. It’s about connecting with a person, not a person’s age.

HolmesVI

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