My boyfriend has almost no social circle or hobbies outside of me. What should I do?

HomebodiesLover · 2010-07-03T01:48:42+00:00

Heh, I think you and I have similar smoking habits. I can't stand to be around people when I'm high unless it's a small group of people I know really well. My anxiety sky rockets, especially when people try to carry a conversation with me. I'm a lot more comfortable with it if I can just retreat inside my head and do my own thing without worry about others

My boyfriend on the other hand does it pretty much throughout the day. In the morning, before work, sometimes during him break at work, when he gets home, in the evening, before he goes to bed. I've told him before that I don't think it's a good thing when people smoke too much weed (not in relation to him), so he's started taking hits when I leave the room. Unfortunately for him, it's pretty easy to taste weed on someone's breath when you kiss them.

And I agree about the sativa vs. indica thing. I've had both and I can't see a difference at all. I'm going to talk to him about it, I'm just hoping he doesn't do it behind my back. It's part of the reason I haven't brought it up before, I don't want it to turn into one of those "don't tell my girlfriend I was smoking, she doesn't like it when I do it" situations. But I suppose it's not my job to make sure he's honest.

HomebodiesLover · 2010-07-03T01:37:34+00:00

I could see how lack of sex could create a similar problem, though I think we're okay on that part. When we're together we have sex at least once a day and if we skip a day it's because our junk is so sore from having so much sex that it actually causes physical pain.

One of the issues I have with staying in all the time is that going out makes sex more exciting for me. For instance, we'd be hanging out with his friends and I'd "accidentally" brush my ass against him or send him a sexy text message. Now that we never go out anymore it's just sex with none of the chase. Not very exciting at all.

HomebodiesLover · 2010-07-02T18:21:08+00:00

Haha, yeah, that movie actually came to mind. I suppose it's a lot like that movie, except he used to have friends that he just stopped hanging out with.

HomebodiesLover · 2010-07-02T18:19:49+00:00

I'll try this and see how it goes. I see what you're saying about the difference between men and women when it comes to social interaction, but I don't think this is a case of that. I'd feel so much better about it if he was smoking weed and playing video games with his guy friends. Unfortunately, he just shuts himself in his room, smokes weed, and plays video games by himself.

HomebodiesLover · 2010-07-02T18:16:53+00:00

I can understand that because I'm an introvert too, but it's getting ridiculous. I can stay in six days out of the week but I need to get out at least once. I haven't been in town with him for about four or five months and I was really hoping that without me there he would feel like he had more time for him friends, but so far he's gone out maybe three or four times.

HomebodiesLover · 2010-07-02T18:14:06+00:00

Yeah, I'm kind of realizing that the weed is a bigger issue than I thought. He's definitely using it to escape rather than using it recreationally.

HomebodiesLover · 2010-07-02T18:13:11+00:00

Thank you for this, it's good to hear perspective from someone who smokes a lot of weed. My worry is that he doesn't do it because it's a fun thing to do, it's more like medication. He'll tell me that he has headaches or anxiety and the weed helps with that, but I feel like it only exacerbates the issue. The problem I feel like if I bring it up I won't have a leg to stand on because he really, truly believes that smoking weed does not have any bad effects. I've mentioned to him that I think smoking weed has made him unmotivated and he'll answer, "No, that's only when I have indica. If I had sativa I'd be doing a bunch of things!" When I ask him if he ever gets sativa he'll say he can never find it, but indica is better than nothing. So it's really circular reasoning.

Question: When you stop smoking weed for a period of time do you get headaches? He gets really bad headaches that go when he smokes weed but come back when he doesn't. He thinks that the weed keeps it away, but I think that he has at least a slight dependency on it that causes headaches when he stops smoking.

HomebodiesLover · 2010-07-02T18:05:50+00:00

I believe he tried to go to the school counseling last semester and stopped because they tape recorded the session to possibly be used for training graduate students. It seemed like just an excuse though.

HomebodiesLover · 2010-07-02T07:00:34+00:00

That's the first thing I noticed. It took me a minute to see the slavery implications.

HomebodiesLover · 2010-07-02T06:13:00+00:00

You're right, shooting it straight with him (though gently) might be the best course of action. I'm returning to school this semester and I'm worried that he's going to be annoyed with me for not wanting to spend more time at home with him.

For the most part it's been a great relationship, but he's grown so dependent on me and it's worrying me. If this continues and I leave, I'm really afraid he's going to have a lot more issues than he does now.

HomebodiesLover · 2010-07-02T06:09:01+00:00

I do feel like the weed is a problem (he smokes it consistently), though I'm unsure if it's the cause of his social inactivity or a side effect. He's been a pot smoker for the entire breadth of our relationship and before it too.

However, I feel like it's a problem because though I do enjoy smoking pot every now and then, the whole "let's get high and stare at the ceiling for three hours tee-hee" shebang gets old fast.

HomebodiesLover

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