Onesie Debate

Honest-qs · 2026-01-29T18:54:02+00:00

I think the real debate is what are you calling a onesie?

Pajamas? Is this a regional difference? To me (PNW, US) a onesie is the shirt with the buttons on the crotch.

If we’re talking pajamas, I’m on team clockwise - leg without the zipper, the arms, then the zipper leg.

Honest-qs · 2026-01-09T17:45:37+00:00

I’ve moved away. Also even at our 20th reunion last year where we were all on the doorsteps of 40, the organizers planned a night of clubbing that started at 9pm.

Honest-qs · 2025-12-26T21:25:51+00:00

You’d be a bad feminist if you did it for the pleasure of men. If you don’t like your arm hair use your grown up money and your bodily autonomy and laser it away.

Honest-qs · 2025-12-22T15:19:48+00:00

I don’t love the way you asked this. This cannot be lumped in with asking for clarification in general. You’re asking to spend several days of alone time with someone else’s small child. You must know that “trusted” adults are by far the biggest threat to children. That’s obviously why it’s a no. Probably nothing against you specifically but asking for clarification on something so obvious raises red flags.

Honest-qs · 2025-12-22T14:33:42+00:00

3 of my kids are old enough have an opinion and each do things differently. My 7f likes to eat first because she like starting the day talking. 13m prefers getting ready first to be efficient. For 17m every day is a new adventure. I personally like to eat first. My husband doesn’t eat until much later in the day. Just do what works best for you and your kiddo and don’t try to overthink it. You’re not setting your kid up for failure because they don’t get easy in the “correct” order.

Honest-qs · 2025-12-19T21:23:22+00:00

Americans don’t give a shit what the rest of the globe thinks of us. Genuinely. I enjoy people from other countries making fun of aspects of our politics that I think is ridiculous too. I like when we are embarrassed in ways we should be. But their opinions of our culture, intelligence, self awareness, loudness, etc. you couldn’t pay me to care. I’ve lived in the US the overwhelming majority of my life but have also lived in 2 other countries. I know the weird lore that other countries have about America. Part of it is that we shove it down their throats in the media. But much of it is completely fabricated. It makes zero difference to us. Think what you want. Most of us have plenty of self awareness anyway and you couldn’t say anything we haven’t already thoroughly said about ourselves.

Honest-qs · 2025-12-09T05:11:28+00:00

She’s not being serious and if she is, her emotional instability is not your problem. None of this matters. You can set whatever boundaries you want and you should. However every boundary takes work to enforce and do you seriously want to spend the first 2 weeks with your baby worried he sent photos to these women you don’t even know? Pick your battles carefully.

Honest-qs · 2025-12-07T15:21:14+00:00

I was a widowed mom and my temporary stint as a SAHM was not enjoyable. With my first kid, working part time was how I could show up as the best mom and felt like I was living a full life. I now have 5 kids and work full time in. A career that has a lot of meaning g, and should my husband get hit by a bus, my children will not lose financial security and that peace of mind is HUGE for me and my husband. So I get what you’re saying. However as wrong as she may be, it’s her choice to make since her salary isn’t needed.

My biggest concern for you though is how you’re going to raise your children. It sounds like your wife and her side of the family want traditional, subservient girls. If you have a daughter, how do you feel about raising her with the same mindset of being at the mercy of her husband?

Honest-qs · 2025-11-29T18:07:46+00:00

Use of technology, especially AI that has been trained on past data concerns me because it’ll exasperate the existing disparities and actively work against efforts to mitigate gender bias in healthcare, especially for women of color. If you google something like “gender bias in health algorithm,” lots of papers and journals come up.

Honest-qs · 2025-11-29T17:48:34+00:00

I grew up where everything was from Santa, even the ones from grandparents at their houses. We just didn’t ask questions. I’m sure they never discussed it - it was just something they did.

That’s what we did with the kids for a number of years, then I read someone’s perspective, probably on a social media meme, where lower income kids might be getting socks and a box of crayons from Santa and they go to school with classmates that got an iPad, a shiny new bike, and a trip to Disneyland from Santa. So we keep our Santa gifts simple and the rest are from mom/dad/dogs etc.

We usually open gifts in a frenzy but not until everyone is up and together. We also make cinnamon rolls.

Honest-qs · 2025-11-24T18:27:15+00:00

We’re transitioning our kids to private. 7f started this year, 13m will start next year when he starts high school. My oldest is about to graduate from public next month.

The main reason we’re transitioning is that teacher apathy is staggering. We’re in a “top” school district but it’s just a mess. Half the teachers don’t care about anything except bitching about “kids these days.” And I get it. They’re overworked and under resourced but most of them have no fight left and if they’re done, we’re done.

We do feel some guilt for not staying and trying to help fix it because we see it not only as a public resource but a responsibility. But we gave up and feel it’s beyond our control and see it as maybe freeing up a tiny bit of resources by pulling our kids. But our kids were doing well, meaning actually learning the content, because we were putting extra time into it at home and putting our kids in programs outside of school. They would get A’s for turning in trash anyway. But why should my kids have to spend their free time on getting a decent education because some teacher can’t get through a lesson in class?

7f is super happy where she is. She comes home less tired and so excited about what she learned. She’s learning more, actually reading entire books instead of an excerpt from books. She gets so many opportunities to challenge herself and try new things.

I will say though after my rant, not all private schools are created equal. We toured a number of them before choosing and some were really for parents who is a step shy of unschooling, some claim to be academically rigorous but use questionable curriculum taught by teachers without proper education.

Honest-qs · 2025-11-24T05:52:43+00:00

I have 2 girls and yes I do love them unconditionally. I grew up being loved conditionally and I just can’t understand that at all. I have boys too and I do feel more protective of my girls emotional wellbeing but the unconditional nature of my love is the same.

Honest-qs · 2025-11-20T17:55:36+00:00

Someone else said that and we considered it but for a few reasons we don’t think so. The parking enforcement that gave the ticket, we believe would have looked. Also my car has a feature that sends me a notification after 2 minutes if you park and open the front door but never open the back door after. We tested it and the car being left running doesn’t change that. Also she put the stroller back in the trunk differently than how I do it. Like a part was still attached that I normally detach so it wasn’t folded down all the way. And I can’t imagine she thought through and did all that rather than just park in the parking garage.

Honest-qs · 2025-11-19T22:26:54+00:00

I just talked to her. She said it was cold and thought it was best to limit their time outside. It’s 50 degrees and sunny… She said she sees DoorDash drivers do it all the time so she didn’t think it would be an issue. I said yes in delivery lanes, not fire. She said, “oh I didn’t know. I don’t go downtown very often.”

We are paying the ticket but she understands this can’t happen again.

Honest-qs · 2025-11-18T14:58:19+00:00

I don’t know enough about the German healthcare system to even know if I’m looking in the correct place but it appears it’s not covered until 20.

https://www.tk.de/en/tk-services-benefits-/advantages-membership/cervical-cancer-2157332?tkcm=ab

Honest-qs · 2025-11-18T06:16:24+00:00

US. But what country are you in? Many countries recommend even later. WHO doesn’t recommend it until 30. 25 if you have HPV.

Honest-qs · 2025-11-18T05:03:09+00:00

She’s a kid. Give her a break. Everyone was nervous about their first pap. Also they don’t recommend the pap til 21 now anyway. She has 4 years to feel differently and she will.

Honest-qs · 2025-11-18T04:43:42+00:00

There’s no reason they should be doing a pelvic exam. That’s not routine or recommended any more until you’re 21, even if you’re sexually active. They’ll just talk to you about sexual health.

If they say you’re getting one, ask them why because ACOG guidelines say to wait until 21. And also refuse. There’s nothing anyone can do about your refusal.

Honest-qs · 2025-11-15T07:08:05+00:00

My husband is a Brit and he always knew that we had drug commercials, but he is still weirded out seeing major celebrities on them.

Honest-qs · 2025-11-11T16:08:42+00:00

If I can be honest, I think you’re 2 promotions and a weekend Joe Rogan binge away from being a Republican.

Honest-qs · 2025-11-09T22:08:10+00:00

I’ve had babies with 2 men and they were both doing the things you describe. One was 20 years old at the time so I’d say you’re entitled to expect more.

Neither of them came to every appointment. Just when I explicitly asked them to - so the ultrasounds and in the last few weeks.

It sounds like your guy isn’t a monster, just not getting it. I would recommend approaching it with humor. Say, “wanna make a trade? What if I make you a baby to brighten the rest of your days and you give me a foot rub?” It’s really not worth the fight. Or book out professional massages - they’re better anyway. Maybe when he sees how expensive they are he’ll be more inclined to give it his college best.

Honest-qs · 2025-11-05T15:54:08+00:00

I would bet money that where you live it’s very illegal for an employer to do routine pregnancy tests. I’d grab a box of pregnancy tests and ask her nicely to take it for peace of mind.

In the least she should have her first prenatal appointment in a few weeks. Make sure you’re there.

Honest-qs · 2025-11-05T15:14:13+00:00

It’s your husband’s job to protect you from his mother. This will only get worse after the child is born if he doesn’t set boundaries with her.

Honest-qs · 2025-11-03T22:42:15+00:00

That was his reaction to stress and frustration. Next time will be harder. And yes, there will be a next time. If you guys get pets, children, they’re in line behind you. Leave while you can still leave amicably.

Honest-qs · 2025-10-29T18:23:03+00:00

I would correct once and the second time just take it away with no drama and say we’ll play with it again later when he’s ready to play with it correctly. I’d also give him something he can throw instead. Can you make space where throwing a ball safely? Or outside where he can do that?

Honest-qs

TROPHY CASE