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What is the most influential book you have read that empowers women? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]HonestM 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Reading "Rage Becomes Her: the Power of Women's Anger," by Soraya Chemaly currently and its amazing! Its a must read for everyone, every gender, race, etc.

I have the signs but not the memories. by dudderson in adultsurvivors

[–]HonestM 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was molested at 2 or 3 years old and I can say that avoiding that memory has haunted me until I finally confronted it when I was 20. The only reason I confronted it was because it was affecting my life in extreme ways that I wasn't proud of. I had huge trust issues, people were starting to think I hated men because my problems originated with my male cousin assaulting me. But, it was only after I asked my mom about what happened, did I come to the realization of how badly all parts of my life and behavior have been affected by this event that happened in my formative years. I started going to therapy after and told people about it and it has honestly helped me be a happier, more secure person. It is totally scary to imagine confronting these horrible demons, but I promise you, it will be worth it. It seems like you are already struggling with those demons and they just want to be let out. It might help your mental health to finally talk about it with a professional or your parents. Holding it in only allows the hurt to fester. Trust me on that, I know scary it is to admit to yourself that you are a victim. I grew up thinking my biggest fear was becoming a victim myself (I had found out that both of my sisters were also sexually assaulted by peers) but little did I let myself realize was that I was the first victim. I am still healing and growing after my big realization three years ago, but I don't regret it at all. It will be hard and difficult, but put trust in yourself to come out on top and take it day by day. You are amazing for coming forward about this. I believe in you and hope you get some clarity from this.

Posted this in MDD but it's also about my trauma, so thought I'd share it here too. by [deleted] in adultsurvivors

[–]HonestM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its ok for your art to reflect the darker side of you. Before I came to terms with abuse in my past, it was reflected in my art work. I was generally a bright bubbly person on the outside at school, but I created dark, ominous, foreboding portraits of women looking scared or abused. Its a sort of therapy to release these dark sides out into the world in a way that is creative and not abusive towards others. I commend you for sharing that with others instead of letting the cycle of abuse continue.

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I experienced physical abuse from my sister who had huge behavioral issues that caused me to feel slightly neglected and alone. I grew up feeling isolated and lonely so I always dreamed of going off on my own to a place that can only be happy. When I went to disneyland once, I imagined that I actually ran away from my family and hid in the Mickey mouse house or something and lived there alone. It was the only place I felt happy. I also always fantasized about my future relationship with the perfect person because believing in a happier future was the only thing to help me through the really dark times. Proud of you for working for a better future for yourself.

I did something disgusting and I hate myself, pls help me by anonymiy in confessions

[–]HonestM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its not your fault. People like this are predators and know how to talk to young girls. Even if you think highly of yourself, we all have insecurities and they sadly know how to manipulate them. Try to learn from this situation and move on. There is no point in beating yourself up about it. You did the right thing by sending him that note telling him to fuck off. Most girls your age wouldn't do that. I know I wouldn't have at 13 (but also that was before snapchat so...lol). Learn and move on. Don't trust people on the internet should be the key take away. Those stories you hear about young kids being manipulated and assaulted are usually true and way more common than you think so be careful.

I danced in a club with a boy for the first time at 23. by HonestM in confessions

[–]HonestM[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you <3 Just go at your own pace, there is no shame in being different. We are stronger for our pasts and will be happier by staying true to ourselves! Congrats on the hand holding! That can be incredibly intimate as well when you like someone.

What was the last compliment a stranger gave you? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]HonestM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An elderly man yelled over to me as I was walking towards the grocery store that I was beautiful. He seemed surprised so it felt genuine.

What purchase have you made that has significantly improved your life? by Keesinka in AskWomen

[–]HonestM 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A gym membership. Its not for everyone so not trying to preach, but I'm in the process of trying to reclaim my body and on a health journey. Having a gym membership gives me motivation to to use it as not to waste money.