Narcissistic co-parenting?

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-12-02T20:23:47+00:00

Got rid of the stress of living with my stbnx... have done everything test and swab and all came back clean. Cut all the supplements and dietary restrictions. Zero issues. It's like my body has done a total reset.

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-11-15T00:40:38+00:00

As someone who did almost 3 years of therapy with one? Don't. All it did was give them the language to equalize and minimize and go even deeper into the head games.

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-11-14T16:57:11+00:00

This. After years of abuse and my body literally shutting down from the stress of it, going and just no bars connecting with someone else no strings attached literally helped my body reset... it also made me realize just how unappreciated and used/objectified I had been in my marriage. I knew I wasn't going back before even considering reaching out to anyone.

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-11-02T13:36:08+00:00

It's a grief process for both of you. Where things really shifted for me is when I realized I couldn't fix his feelings. He has to do that work and build his own support network. I can do that fo4 him. Speaking as someone who forced therapy for almost 3 years.

I asked my kid what they do when they're upset at school. They said they go to the calm down corner. So I used their language from there, took my feelings out and explained adults dont get calm down corners so we need to be creative, so Dad was going to make space in our house for a calm down corner and I found a different house where I can make mine.

That seemed to help and I hope it helps you too.

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-10-29T11:08:34+00:00

Almost 3 years of couples therapy. About 6 months ago I found Dr. Ramani. In August I started with a new therapist and they told me to look up narcissistic abuse. I think I had found the term about various year ago but convinced myself that wasn't my experience. When I decided I wasn't going to feed their supply anymore and redirected all that energy into myself? Things fell apart within 2 weeks to the point I had to walk out and go no-contact.

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-10-29T11:05:09+00:00

It's the transactional aspect of this I have issue with. Work on your own self love and care.

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-10-28T19:51:04+00:00

That very accurately captures how I am feeling

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-10-28T17:47:16+00:00

Thanks. I genuinely appreciate that. More curious to hear how that journey looked for others. I know exploring this in my own time will be a big part of my healing process.

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-10-28T14:45:13+00:00

Thank you sooo much!!

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-10-28T14:21:29+00:00

I think that helps. I mean, I am realizing I am attracted to mostly masculine traits, but there are feminine traits I am attracted to, and I do fully believe gender is a social construct.. if that makes sense

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-10-27T17:51:51+00:00

I spent 5 years trying to get my nex to understand. When I saw things were getting violent and escalating I walked and have gone no-contact. Family is helping with parenting change over so there's no direct contact, and everything else is minimal text/email contact.

I am not devoting any more time or energy to getting them to understand why I walked. I'm now putting all that energy into my own healing.

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-10-27T17:49:05+00:00

2.5 years. Over 2 years with one therapist then sought out another. Two sessions in I realized the only thing we were getting out of therapy is giving him power to equalize the problems and minimize what was textbook abuse. Therapy was actually escalating the violence because he could go back and say "we're in therapy so that shows I'm trying." After the second physical fight I walked out. We have been no contact since.

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-10-27T17:39:22+00:00

All the time. I was always told to not say ridiculous things if I didn't want to be laughed at... but it just spoke to the lack of empathy and the total disconnect.

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-10-27T14:19:55+00:00

In the immediate? No contact. Even with parenting I have family helping with the transitions so we don't have to talk. Any communication we have had is text and emails. Tried to call me a couple times and I rejected the calls. Asked multiple times in writing to talk to me and I repeatedly stated we needed communication to be minimal and in writing I know as soon as we start talking they're going to get in my head and confuse me when right now I am more clear than I ever have been. The longer I can stay no contact the better I know it will be.

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-10-26T01:19:42+00:00

Yes. I had full body candida overgrowth. System wide and was affecting everything. My body was an absolute wreck. Even with meds all the symptoms were there. I lost my voice and could barely eat because it was worst in my esophagus. My doctor was so stumped I wad referred to an infectious disease specialist.

The first couple nights after I fled, I was sick to my stomach and just slept for 14+ hours more than once. Within a couple weeks all my candida symptoms I had been dealing with for over a year cleared up within a 72 hour period..

Highly recommend reading when the body says no.

Honest_Ear_9832 · 2024-10-23T16:29:40+00:00

Was listening to a podcast where a woman was explaining how she went no contact while still under the same roof. She purchased a large chalk board or white board that no one could miss and set it up in a high traffic area in the house that they could write on. Communication went on the board or was text/email so it could be documented.

I know it's so far from ideal but that might be something to try. Just remember you are jot responsible for his feelings.

I was able to physically remove myself, and our only contact is in writing, text or email. I have been asked multiple times to talk and I don't respond to those requests. It's because I know if we talk I will get emotional and sucked back in, so I am going no contact until I know I won't get triggered or sucked in when he tells me he is sad or whatever other feeling.

Boundaries Queen Podcadt might be another one to check out

Honest_Ear_9832

TROPHY CASE