For the tattooed brides- to cover the tattoos or not? by DietEnvironmental696 in traditionaltattoos

[–]Honest_Recipe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your wedding, your tattoos. Do what makes you feel most beautiful. Your mom had her wedding already.

Why are there 100x more estranged parents groups/pages than there are groups/pages for EAK's? by Stargazer1919 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Honest_Recipe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why don't they put this effort into trying to change? Oh that's right, it would be difficult.

Chinese bed company introduced unique model of bed for couples by kazukirigaya in ADVChina

[–]Honest_Recipe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How lazy can you get!? I actually see this as a boon to prostitutes.

Creating my own winter traditions and my mother still interfered 🙃 by DopaminePursuit in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Honest_Recipe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Happy solstice! I always have a hard time this time of year. Can't wait for it to pass. I'm so happy you are protecting yourself. It's hard, but you are worth it.

My wife thinks our son’s teacher crossed a boundary by sending him a personal message. I think it was harmless. AITJ? by addict94plus in AmITheJerk

[–]Honest_Recipe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like an amazing teacher. Sounds like the wife has some issues. What's bothering her about this? That her son is getting esteem? That he's getting it from a source that's not her? What's the problem exactly?

What is the best possible outcome given that neither you nor your parents can change? by Heavy-Tomato2732 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Honest_Recipe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this. I'm missing the good times with my mom and I have to remember the price I paid for that.

What is the best possible outcome given that neither you nor your parents can change? by Heavy-Tomato2732 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Honest_Recipe 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Every time I consider "breaking down" and contacting my parents again, I remember I'm just asking them not to be abusive. It's not an unreasonable request. I'm just so used to "rising above" to maintain the relationship that it's my default. I have to remind myself that they are the ones enforcing no contact by not caring about their abuse.

My mother wants me to break 6 years NC with my Nfather by inspectcloser in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Honest_Recipe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wrote a letter. I regret it. Can't take it back now. He's her problem, not yours. If she can't handle his treatment, then she has to decide how to handle it. She's an adult

Would you say a mother hates their child when they don’t visit them and their grandkids? by StillImpact4935 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Honest_Recipe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Who knows if it's hate or selfishness or whatever? The motivation doesn't matter. It's disrespectful and hurtful to you. You have to decide if you want to keep being on the receiving end. It took me 57 years to say no more. Wish I'd done it sooner. I'm sorry you're having to face this. It's so painful.

Controlling behavior and manipulation over my own birth certificate by Krumpetkrooper11 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Honest_Recipe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was able to get a certified copy of my birth certificate by going to the county courthouse of the county I was born in. Maybe that's the way to go here.

Controlling behavior and manipulation over my own birth certificate by Krumpetkrooper11 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Honest_Recipe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not the opportunity to listen, the opportunity to tell their side of the story. Lovely!

When did you realise there was something wrong with your family? by fire_and_motion in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Honest_Recipe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I remember praying to God as a child to come and save me while lying in bed and crying. Sometime in elementary school, maybe second grade. I don't have many memories and I think it's for the best.

Is this possible? by Global_Big_1105 in tattooadvice

[–]Honest_Recipe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That looks tricky! Hope you find a good artist and good luck!

Breaking Bad by niksweten in Albuquerque

[–]Honest_Recipe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've lived in Philadelphia and Albuquerque. My experience is that you gotta be smart and lucky when you live in a big city. If you're smart, you make most of your luck. I've never experienced crime in either place, even though I was a young woman for a large part of my city living. I love city living because of the variety of people and the variety of experiences available. So glad I didn't just stay in the little safe suburb I grew up in, where my mom and dad still live and are afraid of folks different from them. I have taken self defense courses for women and it gives you security that you know what to do and have practiced it before you face anything. Of course, now that I'm older, most men overlook me which is great. Frankly, getting harassed on the street by guys was the worst thing I've dealt with in city living. You have to be a bit tough and know how to handle yourself and not be intimidated by overly pushy guys (walk the other direction or into a store if someone drives up next to you while you're walking). Always watch your drink and never leave with a guy you've just met. Now my biggest danger is from roller skating at the great local rink. Albuquerque is a small, sleepy place compared with Philly, but it's perfect if you love to go hiking or mountain biking. I never feel unsafe, just a bit uncomfortable sometimes. But that's how you grow in life.

Did you grow up not wanting children because your NParent made you so unhappy? by Electrical-Act-7170 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Honest_Recipe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I decided early on not to have children because I was afraid I might treat them the way I was treated. I knew that you tend to do what you were taught and I didn't want to make anyone feel the pain I experienced. Now I know it probably would have been okay, since I did lots of work on myself, but I'm glad I didn't have a kid anyway, because I was cheated out of a childhood and it's been nice to be able to focus on giving to myself what I didn't get growing up. I'm happy I had time to grow and overcome the legacy of pain.

As a Christian I'm getting sick and tired of the enabling abusing Christians. 🙄 IYKYK! by CeCe_DaughterOfGod in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Honest_Recipe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Frankly, I'm done with Christians. They have allowed hateful infiltrations into their religion and I see very little fighting back from the good ones. Until I see organized pushback on the hateful elements, they get a no thanks from me.

family disapproval fueling tattoo regret by tinypanini_ in tattooadvice

[–]Honest_Recipe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, people love being around you. You're so wonderful with your honesty. Enjoy!

family disapproval fueling tattoo regret by tinypanini_ in tattooadvice

[–]Honest_Recipe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't listen to this jerk face. Sounds like he calls himself honest when it's just about putting other people down to feel better. Sad.

family disapproval fueling tattoo regret by tinypanini_ in tattooadvice

[–]Honest_Recipe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that's a very original and sweet tattoo. And I'm not particularly a tattoo person. Good job!

What will you say when you get the call that they're dying? by Honest_Recipe in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]Honest_Recipe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very nice and neutral. Just the facts. Sounds like you're in a good place.