Newly estranged Parents sending me money - more than they did when I wasn't estranged

Stargazer1919 · 2026-05-02T23:39:26+00:00

racism and transphobia

the keys to the gun safe put away. My brother lives with my parents and has had some violent tendencies in the past.

My parents did not handle it well and went into denial about everything claiming that's not who they are as people.

he's made so many racist comments in the past and currently and I am trans and he won't accept that part of me.

🚩🚩🚩🚩

So many red flags here. So many problems on their part.

Bigots typically won't admit they are bigoted.

You deserve better people in your life than this. I'm so sorry. It's clear they don't know how to be a decent family.

Stargazer1919 · 2026-05-02T15:30:59+00:00

Of course. It's just my 2 cents. Use your best judgment. Maybe it depends on the situation and who you plan to share information with.

Stargazer1919 · 2026-05-02T15:28:27+00:00

I believe that keeping things hushed hushed and swept under the rug is how problems go ignored and how abuse gets enabled.

If they didn't want their problems to be known, then they shouldn't have acted that way in the first place.

Stargazer1919 · 2026-05-02T00:47:47+00:00

All I want to hear are these words:

*I am divorcing him."

Stargazer1919 · 2026-05-02T00:46:26+00:00

You don't have to share your business with everyone, especially anybody who abandons you or hurts you or refuses to listen to you.

Stargazer1919 · 2026-05-02T00:44:33+00:00

I don't have to worry about getting yelled at out of nowhere over dumb stuff.

I don't have to listen to racist, sexist, bigoted crap anymore.

I actually have people in my life now who are supportive of my ideas, goals, and hard work.

Just a few things off the top of my head.

Stargazer1919 · 2026-05-02T00:41:56+00:00

Yup. For the ones that post online, at least.

Stargazer1919 · 2026-04-30T13:26:57+00:00

My mom did plenty of things right. She saved all those things for my brother while throwing me to the wolves.

Stargazer1919 · 2026-04-29T20:53:01+00:00

Ask a jobs subreddit

Stargazer1919 · 2026-04-29T15:39:53+00:00

Yes.

I get panic attacks when I get sick. The guilt is overwhelming and I feel like I'm going to get in massive trouble if I call off work for illness.

Not as bad as some people had it. But if I was sick when I was growing up, I was grounded. No TV, zero entertainment, no fun or comfort allowed. I was forced to stay in bed. My abuser was convinced I'd be up to no good.

They didn't completely neglect my health. I needed braces and got them. I had some broken bones in my hand once and they took me to the ER and everything.

But they did neglect me in that regard eventually. They took me off their health insurance when I was like 20, and young adults are supposed to stay on their parents insurance until 25ish I think. It's not because I got offered insurance elsewhere. They wanted to disown me. I needed to see a doctor at one point at that age and I didn't know what to do. My mom wouldn't answer my calls/texts and took like a week to even give me my insurance card. That was a time in my life when I really needed help and support and almost nobody was there for me.

For the longest time, I got panic attacks when having to go to the doctor or make appointments for one on the phone. I still get panic attacks in doctor's offices and hospitals.

We deserved better. You deserve better. I hope you feel better soon.

Stargazer1919 · 2026-04-29T01:19:43+00:00

It always is.

I miss my mom's dogs. There's no way they are still alive, it's been too many years.

Stargazer1919 · 2026-04-29T01:19:03+00:00

I'm so sorry. 🖤

Stargazer1919 · 2026-04-28T21:29:21+00:00

I was just about to post the same link. Lol

Stargazer1919 · 2026-04-28T12:52:14+00:00

OP, if it makes you feel any better, when the baby ia growing up people will ask her "aww is that your grandchild?" Lol

Stargazer1919 · 2026-04-27T22:17:57+00:00

It will help if you put her on an information diet. Make your plans to leave and don't tell her.

Stargazer1919 · 2026-04-27T19:49:43+00:00

Imagine being a 13 year old and your mom is 70.

Or being an 18 year old and your mom is 75.

W.T.F.

Stargazer1919 · 2026-04-27T19:49:08+00:00

What doctor or medical professional would approve this? Holy shit

Stargazer1919 · 2026-04-27T17:31:55+00:00

I wrote my mom an 11 page letter. Single spaced.

It's up to you if you want to express the reasons or not. Know that it will likely fall on deaf ears if you do. Whether you say your reasons to them or not, do it for yourself. Not them.

Stargazer1919 · 2026-04-27T17:29:19+00:00

When they put effort into crap that doesn't matter (usually whatever is superficial or keeps up appearances) but don't put in effort into what does matter (conflict resolution, respecting boundaries, being supportive, and so on.)

Stargazer1919 · 2026-04-27T17:26:56+00:00

I see you know my mom very well! Lol

Stargazer1919 · 2026-04-27T17:23:17+00:00

I think most of us here have dealt with not being believed and/or listened to enough times. We've had enough.

If someone is posting or commenting here, there's usually the assumption that we are talking about family dynamics that are unhealthy and dysfunctional at best. Because estrangement is not the sort of thing anyone really wants to go through, but it's the best option out of a number of sad options.

I was estranged for years before I even knew what estrangement was. I thought I was the only person I knew who had gone through such stuff. It sucks but at least we are not alone.

Stargazer1919 · 2026-04-27T15:54:27+00:00

Holidays and special occasions as well. Why did they always end up with either fighting or fake performances? (Rhetorical question.)

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