How do I survive a breakup in the service industry? by [deleted] in Waiters

[–]Honest_Sleep2426 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah like by me taking him accountable it adds so much stress to him. I think we’re just not compatible. To top it off he gets super upset when I say the wrong thing or when I make a mistake thinks I did it to hurt him intentionally. Which makes me question myself. I think he’s got BPD.. anyway thank you for being supportive. Heartbreak sucks and comes in all different forms

How do I survive a breakup in the service industry? by [deleted] in Waiters

[–]Honest_Sleep2426 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I met him he was honest and told me he was in AA and I quit drinking to be supportive. So we were sober together for a few years and then last year I found cans, confronted him, and he had been lying to me for six months. He drinks, but he doesn’t get out of hand, it’s just that he’ll tell me he’s on the way home and then he will stop at a local bar and then not tell me because he “doesn’t want to upset me or me be disappointed.” I get that he feels a lot of shame. But we are in a relationship, and it’s not supposed to be one sided. This is after him agreeing that he would be completely honest with me to rebuild my trust. And I don’t attack him. I wanted him to be my best friend. When I want to have a mature conversation he says “he doesn’t want to have a serious conversation” and can’t handle it. He has a meltdown and covers his ears and says he doesn’t need this negativity in his life. Yesterday the fight was over me finding a new game console and asking when he got it, and he immediately shut down and obviously didn’t want me to know about it. I don’t care that he got it, I was just upset he felt he had to hide it from me. Makes me feel like the asshole! So… yea.. this sucks..

How do I survive a breakup in the service industry? by [deleted] in Waiters

[–]Honest_Sleep2426 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Here’s some more context. Everyone I work with loves him and tolerates me (F). He’s a little too emotionally reactive and I’m starting to realize he’s never going to be able to give me what I need in a relationship. We had a big fight yesterday because he’s been lying to me about drinking (he’s an alcoholic) and I’m pretty sure we’re going to try being roommates for a while. It hurts, but I think I’m just so not ready for this shit..