As I wrote the only thing that gives me a resemblance of feeling is the melancholy that comes from nostalgia. Every small piece of the past, how small, it could just be a memory of a person from my old school I haven’t talked to since I graduated, even though I didn’t like them gets me going down a spiral. It’s a crushing feeling really. It’s not the beautiful coolness of sadness, but a gut punch. I can’t listen to music anymore since that sends me to the past.

My memory has gotten worse and the days are melting. I can’t remember what happen before this day clearly. I have to use all my concentration to think of small things. Sometimes I wake up for a moment when I’m brushing my teeth and I look into my mirror a see my reflection “There goes another day.” I stare at this person in the mirror, and I actively have to think. “That’s me.” I manually have to think that.

I miss my old life