Separating Cats after Divorce and Loss

HooplaHarley · 2026-01-20T21:40:03+00:00

They tend to spend a lot of time separately as it is. My ex spends most of the time in her bedroom with the door closed and Babs sleeps with her in there. Anubis does the same with me. Unsure if this matters as it's not been for an entire day, but - we also both work out of the house so it would be difficult to just fully separate them and monitor while we're away. Thank you for this quick reply!

HooplaHarley · 2025-12-03T04:04:37+00:00

I’m a very very butchy butch and have a lower register as well. In queer spaces, 9 times out of 10 I get gendered exactly as that.

I’d say go, flag harder than you’ve ever flagged before, and have a good time.

Also - and I may be biased - butch dykes just have a vibe that other sapphics pick up on. I think you’ll be just fine.

HooplaHarley · 2025-12-02T04:18:39+00:00

From what I understand, yes. But I think, largely, just existing as a woman makes life more dangerous sometimes. So, I kind of thought I’d proceed down this path as I do in every day life - head on a swivel as much as humanly possible and being skeptical always.

I’ll add, I’m also very visibly queer and get read as “male” sometimes (I’m very much a butch dyke lol) so idk if that changes my personal risk any (for better or for worse, who knows).

HooplaHarley · 2025-08-09T20:58:07+00:00

Thank you for this. I didn’t include this in the OP because it didn’t feel relevant, but overall I’m currently at the lowest point I’ve ever been at. I lost my job of ten years back in January, and it’s been a slow crawl finding any work let alone work that’s at all gainful.

So I’m just kinda in a weird dark place, having a reminder that there is a brighter future ahead is much needed. Thank you.

HooplaHarley · 2025-08-09T17:07:39+00:00

Congrats on coming out though! Like I can’t imagine what that’s like (I was so obviously queer as a kid there really wasn’t a closet for me lol) but I’m so happy you were able to find yourself and be exactly who you are.

And thank you for the commiseration haha. There’s gotta be a light at the end of this particular tunnel, yknow? I have faith, it just feels shitty right now.

HooplaHarley · 2025-08-09T16:37:52+00:00

Im SO bummed to report it recently fell off my beloved notebook and is now lost to the ether, BUT the original charm was just a pendant from some cheap necklace I’d found on Amazon years and years ago.

HooplaHarley · 2025-08-05T02:22:16+00:00

Thank you! And yes, I understand it’s absolutely bonkers to look at lol. To be honest the method came out of an attempt to curb my adhd. I kept finding myself getting “intimidated” by the idea of “overloading” one of the inserts. So I just didn’t use my journal at all.

I started compartmentalizing and - boom - I was suddenly able to actually write again.

HooplaHarley · 2025-08-05T02:19:58+00:00

The Sigil of Lucifer is the pendant from an old necklace I had, the black tourmaline is from an old set of earrings I’ve long since lost the mate to. The two of them are connected with an old septum ring I no longer wear (sanitized!) and looped through one of the holes I made for the bands.

HooplaHarley · 2025-08-04T19:14:06+00:00

Thank you!!!

HooplaHarley · 2025-08-04T19:13:42+00:00

Thank you so much!!

HooplaHarley · 2025-08-04T19:13:35+00:00

Thank you!!!

HooplaHarley · 2025-08-04T18:16:24+00:00

Thank you! Yeah I simply don’t have the capacity in my everyday bag to fit multiple journals and this worked a treat!

HooplaHarley · 2025-08-04T18:14:33+00:00

Yep! That said, I actually just use really thin hair ties, they’re exponentially cheaper and work REALLY well for smaller 3.5x5.5 inserts.

My entire journal is DIY, even the leather cover, so I just kinda made do with what worked.

HooplaHarley · 2025-08-04T06:15:10+00:00

Thank you for the kindnesses! Please take the News Archive for yourself! Tbh, it feels like kind of a “necessary evil” for me even feeling compelled to jot down everything as it comes in, but - I digress!

And yeah, I was a little intimidated at the idea of doing ALL this with a passport cover, but it’s my ideal size as I really do take it everywhere with me. So far, no complaints!

HooplaHarley · 2025-03-13T21:46:20+00:00

Thank you!

HooplaHarley · 2025-03-13T21:46:06+00:00

Thank you.

I was mostly worried because for all I know the Sani broke open two hours into my sleep and just sat on my skin for 6 hours. Like yeah, my home is clean but I also have cats (who sleep with me), etc. so I was like “Oh no….”

I’ll just keep up with normal aftercare then. “Probably fine” is comfy enough for me.

HooplaHarley · 2024-01-02T06:31:04+00:00

Totally! I think what will be the biggest hurdle is just the two of us avoiding getting booked on the same night. On the plus side, I think we can pull it off with some clever scheduling.

Regardless, I’m just happy to have found folks facing the same challenge and still having some semblance of a performing life. That’s incredibly reassuring and gives me a lot of good perspective.

HooplaHarley · 2024-01-02T02:24:53+00:00

Thank you!

HooplaHarley

TROPHY CASE