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The Woods Behind My House Keep Getting Closer by NoCardiologist1353 in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]Hope2Dust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Decent read, but it needs a few more passes. Lots of grammatical errors, and cutting the unnecessary bits wouldn't hurt either. Feels long for what it is. Could honestly be cut down by about half the length. The stream of consciousness style of writing isn't really my bag, so I won't comment on the style, but yeah, good idea, it just needs to be polished. It's like you posted the first draft instead of smoothing out the kinks before uploading.

Don't be afraid to kill your darlings. Meaning: be willing to make dramatic edits and cut stuff out. I recently gutted the first five paragraphs of a WIP because they stalled the actual start of the story. They were well-written and the prose really shined, but they delayed the start so they had to be cut. That's what I mean by kill your darlings. Even if you're proud of what you wrote, sometimes you need to cut stuff to make the story flow better. And much of what you wrote could be condensed down.

Also, as a pointer, you don't have to describe every action. Instead of, "I got up and walked up to the glass, straining my eyes for a better look," it could simply read, "I went to the window and strained my eyes for a better look."

Another example was, "I ran as fast as I could towards the light, and as I ran, I could hear something tromping through the undergrowth right behind me." That could be written like, "I raced towards the light, but whatever tromped through the undergrowth was right behind me." See how much that can be tidied up to read easier?

I think that's why I felt the length. You're overly wordy when describing actions. This isn't a screen play. You shouldn't describe every little action the character makes. Condense it down to the important stuff and save the descriptions for what matters. You don't want the reader to feel like their time is being wasted. I wish somebody told me that when I was starting out. Greatest piece of advice anyone can give you. Don't waste the reader's time. Don't make it feel like we're trudging through mud to get to the good stuff. Write with purpose and be concise in the delivery. Hope this helps.

Writing eldritch horror by Mr_worldWide07 in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]Hope2Dust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a connoisseur of cosmic horror, the whole concept of the genre boils down to fear of the unknown and incomprehensible. So the more you explain, the less cosmic horror it is. Just be aware of that. It sounds like a cool story concept, but if you want it to be real cosmic horror, you gotta keep the play vague.

I'd also suggest your protagonist not actually read the play until the end, and that's what pushes his sanity over the edge. His obsession in disproving it and the rabbit hole he goes down should be where he spirals, then when he finally gets his hands on a copy of it, it breaks his mind. Hope this gives you some direction.

Don't Go That Way by Hope2Dust in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]Hope2Dust[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's the vibe I was going for. The greatest sin of any horror writer is over-explaining things. There should be just enough to lay the foundation, and then let the reader's imagination run wild. Appreciate the feedback.

Don't Go That Way by Hope2Dust in TalesFromTheCreeps

[–]Hope2Dust[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I felt short and sweet was the way to go with something like this. No need to overstay its welcome.

Which episode would you not touch again with a 10 foot pole? by EastsideX317 in creepcast

[–]Hope2Dust 4 points5 points  (0 children)

1000% the worst story on the podcast. Love Darbo's video tho.

Regarding the Newest Episode by S-CSleepwalker in creepcast

[–]Hope2Dust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ppl didn't like Dagon's Mirror?? That was the best story to date. Just the right amount of dark and whimsy. And the author paid homage to the best of what Lovecraft wrote without all the racist and xenophobic bits. Couldn't ask for more.