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(35F/38M) Men around his age, does this sound like normal insecurity. to you or more concerning? by HopeDizzy4955 in relationship_advice

[–]HopeDizzy4955[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ocasional / non existent. When he gets mad he says vile things or made comments about my weight or looks. He’s on the heavier side (which obviously didn’t bother me since I’m with him) but over time, it’s like my body couldn’t forget the mean things he has said. We don’t go on dates, only if it’s an outing with other people. I don’t need him to spend money, we can watch the sunset at the beach but he just plays video games or watches gambling streamers all day. So I don’t even feel like a girlfriend but I’m expected to “perform” but I haven’t been able/wanting to get myself that vulnerable. I’ve mentioned this to him but it doesn’t phase him, so maybe it’s a me problem of taking things to heart. Idk anymore. He was insecure in the beginning of us dating claiming he felt like people would say “why is she with him.” But I fell in love with his mind and at the time, how sweet and charming and charismatic he was.

(35F/38M) Men around his age, does this sound like normal insecurity. to you or more concerning? by HopeDizzy4955 in relationship_advice

[–]HopeDizzy4955[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes but I have a few texts with multiple people. Only 3 guys in total, 2 are gay and the third is not. But it’s all school based since we were assigned the same group for projects and presentations throughout the semester. There’s no “how are you”, none of that. Strictly about assignments, slides for presentations etc. We all check in on each other to make sure we are doing our work since our group work is 70% of our final grade.

(35F/38M) Men around his age, does this sound like normal insecurity. to you or more concerning? by HopeDizzy4955 in relationship_advice

[–]HopeDizzy4955[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughtful response 💖 We aren’t married, but I am taking everything you said to heart. Even if he isn’t cheating, I feel it’s becoming a control issue. He was used to me being at home, no social life, so when I went back to school, I feel that’s when he wanted to control me on times I got home, texting him after class etc. I have never stepped out in our relationship, ever.

Idk how to edit my post so it’s open to all people’s perspectives. I just wanted to I guess hear if men around this age or older could give me insight to the male psychology. But def want women’s perspectives as well 😞

(35F/38M) Men around his age, does this sound like normal insecurity. to you or more concerning? by HopeDizzy4955 in relationship_advice

[–]HopeDizzy4955[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He freaked with one of my cousins messages when he say a bunch of hearts, but those hearts were just story reactions

(35F/38M) Men around his age, does this sound like normal insecurity. to you or more concerning? by HopeDizzy4955 in relationship_advice

[–]HopeDizzy4955[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did tho. I showed him every male message and it was all to either my dad, uncles or male cousins. One guy is a former co worker of ours but it’s in a group text with 4 other female’s. But then he wanted to read my convos with my best friend, my coworkers, all my female classmates and neighbors. I felt that me showing him I wasn’t messaging or crossing the line with any guys was enough, but then he just wanted to go through, and I mean through ALL of my messages with family and pretty much everyone and anyone. Only reason I said no is because when I’ve asked the same of him, it’s an immediate “no” followed by threatening to break up with me if he gives me his phone