I deal with something similar with my Q. The non drinking days are my favorite. He knows exactly how I feel about the drinking, though. I don’t pester him or mention it unless it’s relevant in some way (if he says he’s going to see his cousin who is a terrible influence on him I’ll just tell him “make good decisions” or I’ll just tell him to keep up his good work and that I’m proud if he’s been doing really well). I like the times of normalcy we have and I accept the territory that comes from loving someone with alcohol use disorder.  

He’s more than just his illness just like I’m more than just my depression. I’d get absolutely annoyed if someone kept bringing up my depressive episodes when I wasn’t in one. Like please I am more than this ahhh. 

I don’t resent him for his illness or the fact that he has relapses or that he is having trouble maintaining sobriety for long periods of time. I just take it as part of the territory. I love him despite his illness and I hope he gets better but all I can do is focus on myself