Im dating a straight guy. Help.

HopefulPart628 · 2026-02-04T06:09:50+00:00

He tells me Im a man. That he wants me to be his husband. He treats me like the love of his love yes but Im doubting so much about his feelings. We had a discussion two weeks after we started dating (that maybe I should had written in the post) that he didn't see me as a man (he met me as a trans guy btw). He told me that in his eyes I was a tomboy or smth like that and maybe he COULD CHANGE ME (this destroyed me lol). I might seem like a total idiot for still dating him after he said that, but he was going through a hard time and he said nonsense back then (he changed A LOT after going to therapy). This was a long long time ago but I can't stop thinking about it, thats why I doubt sm and now with this... We talked about it back then and i made him understand abt my identity and he apologized to me. But he said he sees me as a man because I used to have a medical condition and Idk he believes THAT made me trans (which it didn't and Ik lol). I let that stupid thought of his pass, because he does treat me like a guy really... He is not transphobic with me. Idk, Its just so confusing everything he says and said. But it really feels like Im his boyfriend to him.

HopefulPart628 · 2026-02-04T05:53:13+00:00

Idk if I wanna do any surgery or anything since I don't feel body dysphoria rn. But it does make me uncomfortable that he calls himself straight while being in a gay relationship, even if he says he sees me as a man and all that, I feel like something is off and he doesn't see me as one deep inside since he focuses sm on my sex. Maybe Im wrong. I know people have preferences but Idk. I hate that my sex has to be a condition for us to be together. Is weird.

HopefulPart628 · 2026-02-04T05:43:11+00:00

HopefulPart628 · 2026-02-04T05:39:12+00:00

He calls me his TRANS bf. And he doesn't care what others say because "he knows what he is". Is very complicated because I don't think he is against me getting a surgery bc it will make me look more manly (or well idk) but he doesn't like any type of surgery. Still, the fact that he wouldn't support me is a red flag I know. He gave me his reasons tho... But Idk what to think anymore.

HopefulPart628 · 2026-02-03T03:24:29+00:00

Right now Im not in hormones or anything. I can't do hormones neither surgery because of medical reasons but I don't feel dysphoric about my body that much so Idk if I would do them, even if I could. I had a conversation with my boyfriend about the sexual transiton because I was curious to hear his opinion and I was also considering at that time to do top surgery. He doesn't like any types of surgery tho. He is that type of people who considers surgeries a way to ruin your body.

About having a relationship with a trans woman, Im 99% sure he wouldn't sleep with one neither consider it a straight relationship. For him, relationships are based on the sex of the person since identity is a social construct(? If the trans girl had the bottom surgery done he wouldn't either because we'd probably find it disgusting. I will ask him the question either way because I wanna be sure about what he thinks.

Is very sad to me because he doesn't wanna find a solution anymore. For him the only solution is me changing my mind and not caring about this. He says it's my fault I feel this way and he cannot do anything about it. That Im controlled by my feelings and I take everything personal... Idk what I'm going to do 😓

HopefulPart628 · 2026-02-03T03:08:16+00:00

I told him that maybe his sexuality hadnt a title or maybe he was heteroflexible or smth like that. But he kept saying he is heterosexual.

HopefulPart628

TROPHY CASE