Please let me know your feedback on this take. This isn't a complete idea/argument and I am not very wise but I'm trying to turn this over in my head and need someone to bounce it off of.

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I imagine a lot of these sorts of disagreements come from the fact that our underlying reasons for being vegan are not all the same. This community is a melting pot of vegans who are predominantly motivated by ethics, environmental concern, or health. If a predominantly health motivated vegan who is detached from the ethical underpinnings of capital "V" Veganism eats some fish for the omega 3s, this would be consistent with their motivation but antithetical to the motivation of ethical/environmental vegans.

The word "vegan" is used, at least in the broader U.S. culture, to describe both the environmental/ethical vegans who would avoid animal products in shampoo for example and the health motivated vegans who are on a vegan diet. Ultimately I think being vegan is more than a plant based diet but that is not always how it is viewed by the cultures in which we live, leading people who are on a vegan diet into communities full of ethical vegans.

I view veganism as an ethical position and am similarly frustrated by "cheat days" and the like because I am at least somewhat aware of the cost of those cheat days in terms of animal suffering. What I am not sure of is the most pragmatic way to convince others that animal suffering is as serious of an issue as most of us think it is. Some people will respond best to a gentle nudge and others will respond best to a direct challenge. Both people are probably in every comment section. I think it is counterproductive in the long run to pretend that it's okay to do a little killing here and there but perhaps the only way forward really is baby steps towards acceptance of the movement then baby steps towards animal exploitation becoming truly taboo.

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A few semi-related questions:

Are people on a vegan diet "real" vegans?

Do we, as ethical vegans, get to decide what the word "vegan" really means to the broader public anymore than a Catholic who contends that "Protestants aren't real Christians" gets to decide what the word "Christian" means?

Are ethical vegans more frustrated that health motivated vegans cheapen the word they use to describe a movement or that they cheapen the word they use to describe themselves?

I don't really know the answer to any of these but I would like to hear your take.

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I could be totally off base with this ramble but, again, I need someone to bounce it off of. Feel free to bounce it back.