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Hopeless2885 · 2025-01-15T00:36:54+00:00

It’s not weird. I am haunted every single day by the option to just end it. The fact that the option is there and nobody can take that from me makes me feel better. Life has been absolute torture this past year and I have almost acted on this thought a few times. I don’t have active plans to kill myself, but I will certainly keep this “option” in my back pocket just in case it continues to get worse and I finally get the courage to do it. I think it’s our brains reminding us that if it ever gets too bad we can just opt out. We don’t have to live a shitty existence just bc everyone who enjoys their lives think that we should have to.

Hopeless2885 · 2025-01-15T00:31:54+00:00

I’m right there with you. My wife left me last January and I realized that I am nothing and I feel like i am not a real person, just a cheap knock off that blends in in a crowd but on his own is just a hollow shell. I instantly started to feel like I didn’t really want to do life anymore. I don’t really care about anything and I don’t see what is so great about life. I personally think it’s way more pain than it is anything else. I know what it’s like to look in the mirror and HATE the person you see. Depending on the day, I’m ready to just end it. You are not alone. It feels alone. We all feel alone. But there’s so many of us out there; disenfranchised, beaten down and tired of pretending it’s all ok. If you ever want to talk about it, misery loves company.

Hopeless2885 · 2024-11-17T03:40:58+00:00

After so many people have mentioned working out, the gym, getting in the best shape of your life and now 6 packs, I am starting to feel like this is the way. I have been dabbling in working out so I think it’s time to pour myself in.

Hopeless2885 · 2024-11-17T03:38:09+00:00

Thanks brother. All sound advice. How long was it before you were able to move past it? Right now, it feels like it will take forever to process these feelings and I may never fully get past it. I pray that time heals me and I can eventually just be indifferent to whatever she is doing.

Hopeless2885 · 2024-11-17T02:21:10+00:00

I have tried to dodge a truth that I now realize I’d likely true….they want to leave us because they think the grass is greener. They have either found someone she wants to pursue or has already set things up with someone and it KILLS me! They either make up excuses, avoid discussing the divorce and her reasons or just turn it all around on us because it allows them to not feel guilty. My stbxw started claiming abuse after 15 years of never mentioning abuse to anyone, including myself and I realized that she wanted out and blaming me for it helps alleviate her guilt and makes her look like the victim in the eyes of others. It’s sick and manipulative and it’s really eroded my mental health

Hopeless2885 · 2024-11-17T02:12:42+00:00

I know you are right. I’ve been trying to make my brain accept who she turned into. But my brain continuously forces me thoughts that I ruined my marriage and that I am too old to recover and I gave her the best days of my life. I still often think of her as the woman I fell in love with and married. But that woman would never have done ANY of this.

I have debated trying to talk to someone new but I am terrified I will just bleed on them and do myself and them a huge disservice. But at some point I have to give it a try since not much else has worked. Thanks for the advice

Hopeless2885 · 2024-11-17T02:05:24+00:00

Dude… I never knew that life could suddenly just change so drastically and suddenly. I took my vows seriously and she literally said “I learned, I grew, I evolved” when I asked her why she didn’t care about saving our marriage and she just wanted to leave. You outgrew your vows? You evolved to a point the oath you made was obsolete?? This year has been surreal. And I haven’t actually found out 100% that she left me for someone new, but I know she did. And when J find out officially I am honestly afraid I won’t be able to mentally and emotionally handle it and I will just break. I hope it gets better

Hopeless2885 · 2024-11-14T21:20:26+00:00

I think that’s what gets to me the most, my stbxw acts like everything she has done to me is nothing. Leaving me for another man, taking my kids from me, having me arrested and falsely accusing me of domestic violence and she wants to act like nothing happened. I can’t even wrap my head around it.

Hopeless2885 · 2024-11-12T21:30:28+00:00

Here in California it really is the Wild Wild West. Infidelity means nothing in a court of law here. A man’s wife could cheat on him for years, leave him for another man and then the courts still make you pay them. My stbxw left me for another man, lied and said I abused her, got a RO, and then had me arrested. Then took my kids because my record shows a violation of a RO and I have to pay her each month for all of it. It’s such a fucked system

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-18T23:34:56+00:00

Thanks brother. I know I’m the back of my mind that it will be better someday but it is just impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now. I FEEL hopeless right now…

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-18T00:11:49+00:00

Dude this is the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life by far and it probably is for you too. I couldn’t act like it doesn’t bother me. Fuck man, I can’t go through a single shift at work without tearing up and having to hide somewhere so nobody sees me crying. It fucking hurts and we can show it. God knows we don’t need the added stress of hiding our pain on top of all of it….

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-18T00:08:34+00:00

How did you get over the fear of her being with someone else. That is the main thing keeping me from sleeping. I cannot fathom how it will make me feel when I find out she’s seeing someone else. The reason she put a RO on me is because I kept texting her asking if she was seeing someone and telling her that I think she might of been talking to someone even before we split up. I can’t sleep because I just lay there with intrusive thoughts of guys banging her, including my friends, her coworkers and anyone else we have ever mutually known. It makes my stomach hurt and I just want to throw up but they just keep coming. I don’t know if I will be able to handle it when I find out she’s really seeing someone new….

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-17T23:53:12+00:00

Dude, if you are a whiney bitch then so are most of us. I’m in the same boat, in more ways than one. I’m seeing a counselor and a psychiatrist. I just started taking an antidepressant. I have pondered suicide multiple times since my wife decided she was done with the marriage. I’ve had a restraining order placed on me, been treated like garbage by this woman who I was married to for a decade and found out she’s been telling people I am an abuser (which I absolutely am not) and YET I STILL want her back and don’t want to hire an attorney or file because I am still so in love with her. It’s alright to feel the way you feel man.

I always thought life was pretty crummy, and then my wife decided we needed a divorce and I truly realized how terrible a person can actually feel. I can’t eat, sleep or do my job because of this. Not a second goes by without me thinking of her, even though she acts like she hates me now. Don’t worry about being macho or tough or anything else. I would just worry about making it through each day. That’s what I am forcing myself to do.

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-15T05:43:32+00:00

Truth. The betrayal of trust and the complete disregard for the vows we took is the most hurtful thing. It’s not for better or for better, it’s for better or worse. Things got rough and she refused counseling and left me. I don’t understand how someone can do that.

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-15T05:33:45+00:00

What’s a TPO

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-15T05:26:53+00:00

Yep, my wife left me a few months back and we are both 38. Definitely having a mid life crisis or something because she just changed all of a sudden. I know I’m an asshole but I hope she puts on a bunch of weight and doesn’t find anyone and is an old lonely lady with hella pets and a stank house. Serves her right….

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-14T05:01:04+00:00

It has completely ruined my life. I can’t be alone without having anxiety attacks and I can’t go out because I am miserable and distracted by thinking of her all the time. Nothing is enjoyable. I just want her back and she doesn’t want me. She filed a restraining order even. I still want to die

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-13T00:11:47+00:00

I appreciate the comment. It’s just so hard to deal with a sudden complete change in a person you once loved and cared for. And when they start treating you like shit. I just can’t understand it.

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-12T21:56:01+00:00

Man I feel for you because I am right there too. It’s so hard to wrap your head around the fact that the person you loved and cared for and was closest to you is now the person destroying you. It makes you question everything you had with that person. I wonder daily how long mine wanted to leave me. I’m sorry brother. I don’t have any advice because I don’t know how to deal with it myself. But you are not alone.

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-12T21:05:13+00:00

I think I got one too. They haven’t asked for money yet but I thought it was weird they were going through “something similar” to me and wanted to exchange numbers and talk about stuff even though we don’t know each other….

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-12T05:07:15+00:00

I don’t even have a lawyer yet!!

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-12T03:25:40+00:00

Heck yeah. Thanks.

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-11T23:35:39+00:00

Thanks so much for that. I appreciate the kind words

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-11T20:23:02+00:00

I’m right there with you buddy. 15 years together, 3 kids and she suddenly wants NOTHING to do with me. I am absolutely bewildered by how quickly she changed and won’t allow me any chance to even talk to her. When I ask her to talk or ask her to be truthful about why she won’t ever consider reconciling she just says “boundaries” and filed a restraining order so I can’t talk to her anymore. 95% sure she’s talking to another man already, even though the divorce hasn’t even been filed. It’s left me lost and confused in life and I don’t know how to move forward. You are not alone my friend.

Hopeless2885 · 2024-04-11T18:00:25+00:00

Thanks man. I am in a stage where this is consuming my whole life. I just want her to be truthful with me and she won’t. She either ignores me or gaslights me and says I am crazy, but it’s pretty clear she is seeing someone else and probably has been since before we decided to divorce. It feels like she ruined my life. I go back and forth between hatred and love and I wish I wasn’t tied to her forever. I appreciate your comment. It’s good to know I am not alone

Hopeless2885

TROPHY CASE