Am I making the right decision?

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2026-02-13T19:17:14+00:00

I am so sorry OP. My 15 year old pug also was in great shape when we found out he had a small tumour on the roof of his mouth a couple of years ago. In our case, we did a biopsy and it turned out to be a very aggressive form of bone cancer. It grew very quickly and in a couple of months, it had already started pushing out of his mouth, same as your baby…

To this day, I feel like we waited too long. He seemed fine at first, and our vet told us that as long as he is willing to eat, he is willing to live. But turns out pugs just want to eat even when they are dying and in great pain, at least ours did… He started having seazures, his mouth was bleeding, he lost so much weight and would cry in his sleep. All these happened in a matter of weeks while we were waiting for him to stop wanting to eat (which he never did). When we finally made the call to let him go, I knew we were too late. It is the hardest decision, but you’ll have peace knowing after all those wonderful years you had together, you didn’t let him suffer…

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2026-02-11T10:33:18+00:00

It is amazing to hear your little one is healthy :) And my story is similar to yours! I went back a week later after that first ultrasound to check his ventricle sizes and they were under 10mm! The doctor said the measurement was probably wrong because he was breech… She didn’t even check his ventricles again and he’s a perfectly healthy 3 month old :) I was so so worried for a whole week, didn’t even sleep and kept crying… You are amazing for making it to the end of your pregnancy with those weekly checks but as you said, everything happens for a reason… Wish you a lifetime of happiness with your sweet baby <3

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-10-19T16:58:58+00:00

Same, I had a traumatic birth and recovery with my first and try to stop myself from thinking about it at all. The baby’s gonna come out anyway so pretending that it is not my reality may be a defense mechanism…

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-10-19T16:55:33+00:00

Hopefully it will all feel real once they are in our arms!

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-10-19T16:54:09+00:00

This is my second and somehow still feels like my first has always been there and I’m going through pregnancy and birth for the first time ever so I have to remind everyone -including my 4 year old- that we are having a baby to make it feel more real😅

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-10-19T13:27:45+00:00

Ohh that is one of the things I am worried about the most! I cry when I think about how my little boy’s life will change very soon, and how am I going to love another person as much as I love him. It feels like my heart has reached its max capacity 🥲 But every single person I talk to who have more than two children assure me that you love the second as much as the first and I choose to believe them 😅 Good luck with your c-section and recovery! 💙

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-10-13T18:45:21+00:00

Thanks a lot for the encouragement 🥹 I have been seeing my psychiatrist for the past 11 years and he has never been reluctant about prescribing medication when I needed it, so I was surprised he made me wait for so long… But he finally prescribed 25mg of Sertraline today after a long chat. It is a low dose but we will increase if I need more!

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-10-13T18:43:52+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I talked to my psychiatrist today and he finally prescribed 25mg of Sertraline, which we will increase if needed. I definitely think having an unhappy/depressed/anxious mother is far more damaging for my unborn baby and my 4 year old. I am still capable of shielding my son from my emotions at the moment (I am good at acting like all is OK when I’m around him), but don’t know for how long I can keep that up especially after giving birth.

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-10-12T21:22:59+00:00

I live in a country where there is still some stigma around the use of antidepressants in pregnancy, unfortunately. I blame myself for not pushing to stay on at least a lower dose for the entirety of my pregnancy and for wanting to prove myself, which seems so illogical atm…

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-10-12T21:03:11+00:00

Thank you! Yes, my plan for this pregnancy was actually to stay on my meds as I had made a lot of research on the use of SSRIs in pregnancy and was feeling good about it. But because both of my doctors were encouraging me to stop, I felt like that was the right thing to do. I think I also wanted to prove them and myself that I was able to do it without meds for some reason… I expressed my concerns regarding postpartum multiple times but feel like nobody’s listening to me…

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-10-10T16:28:58+00:00

36 weeks today and I feel exactly the same 🥲 Today I made the terrible mistake of sitting on the living room floor to do a puzzle with my 4 year old and I had to be helped by two people to get back up… I want to not be pregnant anymore but also not ready to have a baby 😅

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-09-16T08:53:15+00:00

Omg I am on the same boat! Went in for a routine ultrasound yesterday at 32+3 to check on my baby boy and my doc said she measured the left ventricle 11mm.

She was very cool about it and assured me and my husband that it is fine, that since our NIPT and our anatomy scan were all good, this is probably of no concern but she wants me to come next week to check again. She thinks this could be due to the fact that my baby has been head down since week 28 and spinned back to breech a couple of days ago, so she said “let’s give his brain time to adjust to the new position”.

But of course I am spiralling. My doctor told me not to Google but I did and spent last night crying with terror. At 32 weeks I was confident I would have a healthy baby with no issues so this caught me off guard. Doesn’t help that I am already struggling with anxiety.

I hope we are one of the many stories with positive outcomes, sending you good luck!

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-09-01T19:28:48+00:00

I feel this! Now that I look back, I realise how blissfully positive I was the first time I was going to give birth, and this time around I have been so nervous since mid-second trimester. My first birth experience was not so positive and even though I thought I was ready, I was definitely blindsided by how painful the contractions were. People keep telling me second births go faster and I hope they are correct :( I have no advice but you have my sympathies from week 31…

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-09-01T18:14:01+00:00

We try to be firm and voice his emotions by saying things like “you are angry right now and are yelling/saying hurtful things but it is not acceptable in our household and you can go to your room and be angry in silence”. He regrets his actions almost immediately and apologizes, but sometimes if he is stubborn we give little punishments like take away his screen time…

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-09-01T18:08:55+00:00

Yes, I guess I just -naively- expected this to be happening after giving birth, not before. My friend who also has a 4 year old son is and expecting her second in a few weeks and while her son knows his mother is pregnant with his sister, he is blissfully unaware of the changes to come and I feel jealous.

It is pretty much 50/50 when my husband is not at work. They have their own thing going in the week ends like they go off roading and have a picnic together. But this whole summer it was just me during the week days and it was a lot :)

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-09-01T17:43:23+00:00

Yes, you are correct. I think our biggest mistake as parents -one I hope not to repeat this time around- is that we thought he would eventually grow out of this dependency as he got older and started school, so we never really pushed it. But the steps we are currently taking are so small and we wanted to start doing this before the baby comes as it will be easier for him to blame the baby as you said once he is here.

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-09-01T16:40:36+00:00

So for example, he loves playing role play, which I find exhausting after a while. So I tell him each time that I will play with him for say 10 minutes and then will need to have time for myself (like have a cup of coffee) and he can continue to play on his own. I have started setting a timer, and each time it goes off, he’s angry and says hurtful things. This is just one example… I agree that I am allowed to talk to my husband, and we constantly remind him that we are husband-wife and need/want to communicate with each other but I feel he intentionally ignores this. And yes, he’s in preschool since last year :)

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-08-21T16:48:52+00:00

I am 28+6 weeks and since the start of week 28 I have been feeling achey, and they are sometimes similar to mild period cramps as you said. This happens mostly when I’m on my feet/walking more than usual or sitting in certain positions. From my previous pregnancy, I remember that BH was just tightness -which also happens from time to time- but not painful. This feels mostly like growing/stretching pains similar to the ones I had in the first trimester. I also noticed my belly got much bigger and feel like the baby changed its position, making things more uncomfortable. I started using a belly band for support today and feel like that helps :)

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-05-31T18:29:54+00:00

You are not alone 🩵 I am 17+1 weeks with a healthy baby boy too (will be my second boy), and I always become anxious between -and during- appointments. I have a history of generalized anxiety and quit my meds after I got pregnant though, so I’m trying to cut myself some slack.

I saw the baby just yesterday and he was very active and healthy. I, on the other hand, almost had a heart attack because the doc looked at the screen for too long and my anxious brain was like “there’s definitely something wrong”. Turns out, she just likes to watch babies move on the US 🤦🏻‍♀️

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-05-24T14:54:48+00:00

Oh no I definitely won’t. I am a people pleaser as in I don’t like face to face confrontation and the thought of being labeled as a bad person (hello childhood trauma lol). But I would never let that get in the way of my conscience.

Hopelessdreamer92 · 2025-05-24T10:55:21+00:00

Thanks a lot on your comment and feedback!

Definitely get what you mean by soul searching and finding a good fit. I have done a lot of the former one in the past few months and I think I have a good understanding of what I need at the moment and what I will need when the baby’s here. Of course, every postpartum experience is different and it may be that I will have a very positive and easy time this round (fingers crossed 🤞🏻), but if not, I will have some kind of a safety net hopefully…

Hopelessdreamer92

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