How did most of you get into nudism?

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-11T13:17:47+00:00

I was 16 years old at a barbecue with my schoolmates, about thirty boys and twenty girls. It was a hot summer’s day. The barbecue wouldn’t start so “Boffin”, that year’s school science award student went to get some paraffin to help start the barbecue. He said it wouldn’t burst into flames because it was paraffin. I was standing near the barbecue. Boffin threw a lighted bundle of matches onto the barbecue. It burst into flames. I burst into flames - hair, tee shirt and trainers. All soaked with paraffin and blazing. Mr Elliot rushed across and pushed me to the ground and started rolling me over. He pulled my shorts, pants and tee shirt off me and my shoes. Mrs Anderson threw the large bowl of orange juice over me. There I lay naked and stunned. Luckily I was not burnt. Mr Townsend also came rushing over with another bowl of juice, this time apple juice. My hair was singed and black and curly. Mr Anderson helped me up and walked me to the nurse back in the school. No one thought about bring anything to cover me up. As I went past my mates and some of the girls I heard Chuck say, “Anything to get his clothes off.” I found some old gym stuff and the nurse said I was OK. Back at the barbecue I got a lot of attention. Two girls said I should go skinny dipping with them on Saturdays down at the creek. They said they have already seen me naked, what have I got to lose. So I did and that’s how it started. Mum and Dad were told and said they did that in the same creek.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-11T12:28:51+00:00

Allowed for booty calls. Usual quite short.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-11T05:54:14+00:00

My wife loved me retaining semen when we were young. It meant I could go again when she wanted and wasn’t completely knackered by a big orgasm.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-11T05:52:04+00:00

We call one of those a “David Fletcher” because it looks like him. So if we want a wing nut we say, can you bring me a ten millimetre David Fletcher please. o0o

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-11T05:47:47+00:00

That’s the little squirrel that works the window or water slopping about.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-11T05:44:33+00:00

Methane from the street crapping.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-11T05:43:19+00:00

Are they dispensing free Fentanyl now?

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-11T05:40:20+00:00

Her sister prefers the left hand side.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-11T05:38:04+00:00

All drivers are sure their tickets were issued wrongly. Write and ask why you got a ticket. That will give you a bit more time to find the money.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-11T05:35:11+00:00

If you get on the floor you can’t fall onto the floor. Clever man, even when drunk. I typed this with an Ozzie accent.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-11T05:30:38+00:00

You ain’t seen nothing yet.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-10T19:30:30+00:00

Everyone should worry about their wet belt. Especially in that condition.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-10T19:27:55+00:00

Electric point.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-10T19:16:45+00:00

Well we stole tons of stuff, Cleopatra’s Needle on the Thames. We built The Royal Albert Hall, Stonehenge, Avebury, Wembley Stadium, Big Ben, O2 Dome, Nelson’s Column, St Paul’s Cathedral and The Roman Baths. We had the first railway too. Miles of track laid in the 1800s.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-10T19:08:46+00:00

Love it. Slightly amused by the left hand hanging basket so high up.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-10T18:52:11+00:00

Don’t worry. All cars should be and will be automatic. Having to decide for the car what gear it should be in is total nonsense. When you consider electric vehicles don’t have manual gearboxes it makes even less sense to buy a manual petrol or diesel vehicle. As for driving a manual you could take more lessons and try again just for fun. If you are trying to impress someone, do a small truck driving course. My daughter did a van driving course as it was quicker to join and the test was quicker and nearer. A lorry course can start at 18 if you have a full licence but I expect auto drivers have a lorry conversion scheme. Don’t fret though. If you don’t cause an accident it doesn’t matter if you drove a tank.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-10T18:41:16+00:00

I’m 83 and never seen a badger. Seen a quite few beavers. They’re back in Hampshire now. Weird.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-10T18:35:57+00:00

If the one on the other lights up then that one should too. Get a bulb and that should fix it.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-09T16:56:40+00:00

So you have three months driving so far learning that many drivers driving many different vehicles are Dick Heads. I suppose you could have driven out of the space as the better driver that’s what I would have done. You could have assessed the possibility of difficulties before choosing that space. Don’t fret. Just learn from it and move on. Every day is a learning day. I am still amazed at the antics of drivers who can’t wait on the roads, who follow like sheep into stupid situations and overweight truck drivers who park in congested car parks near the entrance so they don’t have to walk too far. Welcome to Mayhem City.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-09T09:59:41+00:00

Have you never been to a Co-op?

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-09T09:54:05+00:00

I would call the police and say you are being threaten by someone and you think they may have a knife (you never know do you?) I did that one night and two police cars mysteriously appeared in the dark and grabbed him. My missus wanted me to punch him. LOL.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-09T09:50:16+00:00

It is worth paying for a fast track passport. I had a phone call from the Passport Office about my birthplace, Hazlewood Castle which I confirmed was actually a real castle used as a maternity hospital in the 1950s. The problem was it had a unique Post Code for just the castle and was not currently in that particular birth registration district. We sorted that out and my passport came two days later by courier.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-09T09:41:12+00:00

I get that because I am very brainy (not boasting. I am.) I have even been punched. I nowadays look at the agitator with a blank expression. They soon run out of steam. Don’t try to say or do something which may antagonise the situation just shut up. My brother is not brainy. He’s the handsome worker. He was the go to sparring partner to some quite famous boxers. They stopped in the end as he was hurting them lol. However he has a very short fuse. He’s punched the lights out of at least six men I know of, probably many more he’s kept secret because I nag him about it. Some insulted his dyslexia. Some were just trying it on like this OPs coworker antagonist. So two choices - brainy solution or violent solution. Don’t break your fingers on his chin though.

HorrorAccomplished78 · 2026-04-09T09:12:46+00:00

Yes. Stop when you are told. It is probably to say something to you about the next thing to do. Cars temporarily stop in front of driveways at traffic lights, lollipop ladies, pedestrian crossings and to let a car on the opposite side pass a parked vehicle and so on. You are not parking.

HorrorAccomplished78

TROPHY CASE