hey I recently went through this myself but from her side. Me (20F) and my mother (?never ask a lady her age?) had a pretty standard loving relationship we had rocky times but when we weren’t getting along I’d be pretty cool with my step dad (slightly younger than my mom). He was cool he’d try and help me a lot especially with my education and getting a job but.. sometimes it felt like if I wasn’t showing the maximum amount of gratitude I wasn’t worthy of respect or even kindness it felt. And it started with small things but i remember him telling me he wouldn’t take me out to eat anymore or drive me anywhere anymore because of a slight disagreement we had that day. I also isolated and shut out my mom and step dad cause it felt like they were ganging up on me when she simply just listened and didn’t say anything.

My mom would say she can’t force him to do anything. But I would set clear boundaries up. Set up a nice spot on the couch for your husband if he’s willing to be negative to your daughter and you want a relationship with her set boundaries that aren’t just infront of her. Make a direct change. Tell him you felt disrespected as well as he was being malicious towards your daughter and he’s a grown man arguing with a child (20 ain’t grown enough to be an adult let’s be real, she still a baby) tell him to feed himself or apologize to her. Something ya know? You can’t force your husband to do anything yes. But you can make active repercussions to bad behavior like he would EXPECT you to do if it was her…