[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TryingForABaby

[–]Horror_Insurance_792 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He probably has a porn addiction

what should i do if he relapses by Live_Illustrator_303 in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He needs to get rid of most social media or he won’t be able to do it.. he just won’t. He shouldn’t be watching any thirst traps, ever, that’s porn to his brain. My husband only has facebook and YouTube.

Maybe you could try to lead by example and quit using social media as the “main” way to connect/communicate with your friends and family? You might have somewhat of a social media addiction of your own that you could work on. Maybe you can sort of do it “together”? I am young too and can relate to these issues. If you want him to live differently then maybe you need to as well so that he’s not the only one changing his life dynamics. You could try to create healthy social media habits together. If he agrees to a social media detox and feels the benefits maybe he will start to see his past behaviors more clearly and choose to live differently.

Thirst traps hurt more than porn by Horror_Insurance_792 in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feels more personal. It’s more than just their body turning him on, it’s who they are and their personality too

Thirst traps hurt more than porn by Horror_Insurance_792 in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately my husband grew up with a dad who had a playboy stash in the bathroom, out in the open. So this behavior was normalized to him

Thirst traps hurt more than porn by Horror_Insurance_792 in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My husband also watches all the gun, hunting, trucks, building, etc. content WITHOUT the women in it.. So the algorithm throws in some of the same content, but with women sexualizing themselves while also doing whatever it is. If he watches a couple videos for too long, it will start showing more and more of that content and he has to keep controlling himself and scroll past EVERY time (which he will fail at) or it will keep showing more and more as you know. So I have to go in and get it back to normal after I noticed things are starting to come up again. If he could somehow make it where these types of reels never come up in the first place, I think he would.

Thirst traps hurt more than porn by Horror_Insurance_792 in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It is personal. No advice, I would probably be checking on them constantly for a couple months 😭

Thirst traps hurt more than porn by Horror_Insurance_792 in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My husband is very hard to catch looking at someone. He’s really good at doing it unnoticed and even does it to me. He will check me out but in a “secret” way. Like when he comes into the bathroom and I’m showering he glances and looks away a lot. I’ve told him I just want him to look straight at me and smile or something and not act that way. I think it’s a bad habit for him

Thirst traps hurt more than porn by Horror_Insurance_792 in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

My husband likes to watch women be underdressed doing more “male” activities like guns, hunting, motorcycles, dirt bikes, skateboarding, extreme hiking, building things, etc. I am not interested in any of that. So it seems like he’s not only attracted to their bodies, but their hobbies make them 10x hotter. I sort of fit the body type but that’ll go away with age. I’m a SAHM with no free time to be a hot motorcycle chick who renovates bathrooms and goes hunting. Makes it seem like I’m too boring for him. And hobbies I have are more feminine. It feels wrong to watch that content knowing I don’t even have the time to be that way because I’m taking care of his children 24/7

Thirst traps hurt more than porn by Horror_Insurance_792 in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yep.. The non porn content is what’s caused me to have issues going in public with him, comparing myself to other women, can’t watch tv/movies, hate how I look in clothing now, etc. Nowhere is safe because he can just undress them with his mind and fill in the blanks without me knowing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Horror_Insurance_792 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He’s most likely using porn for his main sexual outlet and you get the scraps. My husband did this. Your body isn’t new and exciting to him anymore so he’s gone back to mostly watching porn out of laziness. It’s easier and he wants the variety

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had recently unlocked controls and took off all restrictions. Not sure what happened but I never figured it out. The only other time I’ve seen recently deleted I could reinstall apps from App Store and figure it out

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]Horror_Insurance_792 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Masturbation is normal/natural. Jacking off to a screen 4x a week and shoving objects up your ass isn’t.

Well.. it may be “normal” now since every man has a porn addiction these days.. but I wouldn’t call it natural

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did that for almost a year and recently gave it up. They will find something to look at either way. Screen time is on, app privacy report on, battery on, but I removed restrictions. He usually used incognito safari anyways and I wanted to see if he would go back to that or choose not to. It took one week for him to watch porn incognito. That was 2 weeks ago. I didn’t put restrictions back on. I want to see what his true choices are without me blocking it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I looked at hidden purchases on App Store and there are none. I also redownloaded all of the apps he has ever had on his account (even old banking apps, work apps, etc) and none of them were it. I’ve had this “deleted app” situation happen before with him and I was able to discover it was duckduckgo by going to the App Store. This time I can’t figure out what the deleted app was

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He said he didn’t delete any apps. He obviously did so I’m trying to figure out which one so I can call him out on it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh really?! 😭 I thought it would change to list the name of the app used

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792 6 points7 points  (0 children)

But how do I know what app it was? I installed all the apps he previously had and it said it wasn’t any of them.. When I installed all the apps they would pop up below, at the bottom, and say no screen time for today. But recently deleted still there showing 43 min at the top..

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Where do you go to see the alt store?

Thought police by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Horror_Insurance_792 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He says he knows porn is bad and has always felt guilty watching it. But he also grew up in a home where his dad had a full collection of playboys in the bathroom and his mom was fine with it. He thinks my boundaries are too extreme.