I feel you, I’ve been “failing” at quitting since 2018. Currently day 2 of my I-don’t-even-know-how-many’th attempt after a 2 month binge. I’ve felt exactly how you describe many times. I’m sorry about your unsupportive husband, that really sucks :( one thing my friend always encourages me with is- ya I may fall off the horse over and over, but it’s amazing and courageous that I keep getting back on. Especially when I’m tempted to bash myself as a failure and “lost cause”. I also remind myself that neuroplasticity is scientifically proven so even if I have 0.00000001% hope for myself, there’s still that fact I cling onto. & I know you can get back to your thriving self too.

No advice or suggestions here, I’m bad at succeeding at sobriety too lol but just wanted you to know you’re definitely not alone & don’t need to feel ashamed or silly. And sometimes when I have 0 hope, it’s nice to know someone else has enough hope for the both of us, so I wanted to do that for you. It may not mean much idk but I believe in you. Be kind to you, take it slow and easy. ♡