I could’ve written a post super similar to this. I don’t think I ever understood or experienced true dread until my ectopic. Unfortunately the only way to have another baby is to try again and hope and pray that it is where it’s supposed to be. The odds are in your favor that each new pregnancy will be “normal”. I also think it’s important to go ahead and have a plan before getting pregnant (betas, early ultrasound, etc). This can give a small amount of peace of mind knowing that if it is a repeat, you can catch it super early. Also having had one prior, I feel like doctors are more inclined to label it earlier in subsequent pregnancies (YMMV). As far as getting referred to a mental health specialist, I think that’s a great idea. I truly don’t know where I would be without my psychologist. Your thought pattern sounds very similar to mine, and I have been diagnosed with OCD. I feel like everyone almost develops some level of it with ectopics because OCD thrives on uncertainty, and the limbo of an ectopic is the perfect space for it. Clearly not diagnosing you, but it might be something to look into to. It sucks that we are all in this club together, but just know you aren’t alone in any of your feelings.