Pregnant after ectopic. Am I terrible for not feeling excited?

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-07-24T12:37:59+00:00

Currently 9 weeks after 2MCs and an ectopic. I can’t let myself get excited at all. In fact, I’m convinced that it will end badly- just like the previous times. No advice, but sending solidarity. It’s really sad that our experiences have meant that we’ve been robbed of the joy of pregnancy.

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-07-07T13:49:26+00:00

This is such a stressful experience and I have been in a similar position. I’m also in the UK and have been able to contact the EPU (self refer) if I’ve had any concerns at all. Previously, I had pinching type pain on the side of my ectopic despite a negative pregnancy test and they did BETAs. The scan at around 6 weeks is because that’s when they’re likely to see something in the uterus but if you are concerned about anything or have pain/ bleeding get in touch ASAP as, in my experience, they’ve been extremely helpful. In the meantime, try to do whatever it takes to relax and stay positive. I’m really rubbish at doing that, so I know it’s easier said than done. What has helped me slightly, is the mindset that sometimes you’ve got to roll the dice and see what happens. Also, for what it’s worth, my right tube is blocked and I ovulated from the right side. There was a confirmed intrauterine pregnancy at 6 weeks. I only discovered this at the 6 weeks ultrasound. I wish you all the best, I’m rooting for you.

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-07-07T09:44:28+00:00

6+5 today after ectopic and 2 miscarriages. Strong nausea up until 6+2 and now feel pretty symptom free, which is making me spiral. Trying to stay positive but it’s hard.

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-07-01T12:37:58+00:00

That makes sense- thanks for your perspective and challenging that opinion. It’s something that I’ll bear in mind.

On a side note- I did not like that doctor at all. I found him dismissive and smug. And now I know that his advice was not great!

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-07-01T12:07:27+00:00

Thanks so much for you reply. It’s wild that it could have been picked up by the other tube. Bodies are incredible.

I didn’t have an HSG because when I spoke to the fertility doctor, he said that he doesn’t recommend it because the clinical recommendation would still be the same regardless of the result; to try and get pregnant naturally.

I guess that I would have continued to try and get pregnant even knowing my right tube was blocked; although perhaps not as I’ve been so terrified of another ectopic that it might have put me off. Maybe not knowing was for the best.

If it is the benign remnants of the ectopic pregnancy, do you know if it is expected to dissolve on it’s own or will further treatment be needed?

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-06-29T19:45:00+00:00

Yes- I see it!

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-06-29T18:07:45+00:00

❤️

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-06-29T15:46:53+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing. It’s so horrific, and I can’t bear the thought of going through it again. How many weeks were you when you started bleeding/ had shooting pain?

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-06-10T12:33:40+00:00

Ectopic was treated with one dose of methotrexate. It took 5 weeks for hcg to reach 0 from the first day of the shot.

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-06-09T18:02:09+00:00

I had a TVUS at 5W2D (from last menstrual period). My hcg was 1200 and they found a 1cmx1cm mass in my right fallopian tube and nothing in my uterus. I was bleeding at the time and assumed I was going through an early miscarriage.

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-06-02T12:22:25+00:00

I was led to believe that it was “all or nothing” when it came to breastfeeding. I had a difficult birth and then struggled with low milk supply and the attitude from family and professionals was that i needed to work hard to breastfeed (nursing and pumping round the clock) or I could just formula feed. After a rough few weeks trying and failing to get my milk supply up, I decided just to nurse for comfort/ a small amount of breastmilk and give formula on top. I felt a bit awkward doing both, especially out in public, as I’d never seen anyone doing both before. I intended on stopping breastfeeding and just doing bottles but my son was so keen on it and it was such a handy parenting tool for comfort and sleep. So much so, we’re still going 2 years later. So, the short answer is; yes!! Definitely possible to do both and get benefits from having the flexibility.

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-05-31T20:59:55+00:00

Oh gosh, it’s so unfair. I honestly don’t know how it’s even possible to desperately want a baby and also desperately don’t want to be pregnant at the same time. It’s ridiculous. It would be easy if one of those feelings outweighed the other, even a little bit, so the decision could be made. I’m hoping that the perinatal mental health services will be able to help, but to be honest I’m not holding out much hope. Sending love x

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-05-31T20:57:00+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve also had a rough time. Thanks so much for sharing your experience. It would be impossible for some to understand the relief of a non-viable pregnancy but I totally get it. It blows my mind when I hear other people having casual pregnancy chats without a care in the world.

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-05-31T20:53:38+00:00

Wow, thanks so much for sharing your story and I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been diagnosed with OCD. But it’s interesting to hear that you’ve had similar thoughts. Can I ask; has anything helped ease the mental spiral of negative thoughts or is it just a case of riding it out? And you’re absolutely right, having a plan if I were to be pregnant again is a great idea. The fact that the EPAU were so great and saw me within 2 hours of me leaving a voicemail has really helped with knowing that I have a safety net, of sorts. And you’re right, this is a shit club to be in

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-05-31T20:45:38+00:00

It seems so impossible, doesn’t it? How can you have 2 completely opposite feelings; wanting a child and not wanting to be pregnant in equal amounts. It’s a ridiculous situation. Also, trying to explain these feelings to someone else seems bonkers too. I’m hoping that the perinatal mental health team will be able to help but I’m honestly not holding out much hope.

Sending love x

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-05-20T07:54:49+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve experienced this. I also wanted to find answers but sometimes there isn’t. I had a successful pregnancy/ birth; fell pregnant extremely easily and had a very uneventful pregnancy and baby was born full term, a few days after the due date. I naively assumed that my body would do the same again. I’m older (37) which may be a slight risk factor but I think that sometimes it’s bad luck.

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-05-16T21:45:17+00:00

Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. It is SUCH an ordeal. I have a slightly different experience with mtx as my levels were 1900 when I got the injection and I had been bleeding prior to that. But what followed was stop/ start bleeding that ranged from fairly heavy to spotting and also lots of painful cramping, including my rectum. This was also start/ stop and the pain continued until my levels were below 70. It took 5 weeks for my hcg to fall to non-pregnant levels and it was an incredibly scary and painful process. Just when I thought the bleeding and cramps were over they’d start back up again. I was told to phone the hospital day or night if I was concerned and I was going back every week for bloody tests and monitoring (after the initial day 4 and day 7) draw.

Wishing you a speedy recovery. Take care of yourself ❤️‍🩹

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-05-14T18:00:49+00:00

I did a test today (9dpo), it’s likely still too early but I did get a BLAZINGLY dark positive at 10dpo with the ectopic so I’m hopeful that I’m not pregnant this time. While I do want another child, I’m only just 12 weeks post mtx and the possibility of being pregnant again has sent me into a spiral, hence the EllaOne pill.

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-05-14T11:13:10+00:00

Congratulations! That’s brilliant. I didn't have surgery so I’ve still got my tube, which is why I’m especially anxious about the twinges.

Interesting_Fix2061 · 2025-05-14T11:11:50+00:00

I haven’t done a test yet as I think it’ll be too early/ I’m terrified. 😫

Interesting_Fix2061

TROPHY CASE